Archive for the ‘Gym’ category

Saturday Morning Gymnastics

October 3, 2009
Saturday Morning Gymnastics

Saturday Morning Gymnastics

Early Saturday Morning Gym

August 15, 2009

(Before reading, you may wish to check out previous post re “Friday Night Gym” for analysis of comparative virtues.)

Five Reasons to Go to The Gym Early Saturday Morning

1.  It makes you feel incredibly disciplined.

2.   It’s not crowded.  The  other people there  look  sleepy-eyed but take-chargey.   You are quite sure, while avoiding all mirrors, that you look super take-chargey.

3.  These take-chargey people do not let the staff vacuum right next to where you huff.    Besides the staff is really sleepy-eyed and not in the mood to vacuum.  (They are the ones that kicked you out last night, remember?)

4.   If you go now, you don’t have to go later,  a time of  serious nautilus puddles.  Let’s not even talk about the Saturday afternoon pool.  (Has anyone studied the human body effects of diaper moisture retardants combined with chlorine? Lots and lots of chlorine?)

5.  You’re getting fat.

Five Reasons Not to Go to the Gym Early Saturday Morning

1.  Who anointed you as the keeper of the Discipline fleece?  And what about the links between sleep and productivity, huh?  Huh?

2.    Who said that “take-chargey” was a good look for you anyway? (BTW, you forgot  to take charge of the puffy circles under your eyes. )

3.  The staff really doesn’t care about your work-out schedule.

4.  If you went later, you could get kicked out at closing and you wouldn’t have to stay there so long.

5.  You’re getting fat no matter what.

If you want something to check out on a Saturday,  try 1 Mississippi at link above or on Amazon.

Friday Night Gym

August 14, 2009

Five Reasons To Go To The Gym Friday Nights

1.  It makes you feel incredibly disciplined.

2.  It’s really uncrowded.

3.  The staff are extremely attentive.

4.  It closes early so you don’t have long to work out.

5.  You’re getting fat.

Five Reasons Not To Go To The Gym Friday Nights

1.  It’s hard to feel good about being disciplined when the rest of the world is out partying.

2.  You see the same old people there every Friday night.  They are beginning to seem very same and very old.  You wonder about your own sameness and oldness quotients.

3.  The staff are so anxious to get rid of you they vacuum right where you huff.   You feel too bereft to ask them to stop, certain that they, at least, have other places to go.

4.  If you’re not going to work out very long, what’s the point?

5.  You’re getting fat anyway.