Yesterday, I had to take a class in law. I am a lawyer and New York State requires all lawyers to take a certain number of hours of law classes every couple of years.
Although most lawyers complain about them, the requirements are probably a good thing, at least in principle. Laws change; people forget; you can’t take everything in law school.
Unfortunately, the classes actually pertain to, you know, law. Which means that they can be–well, not to mitigate it, put too fine a point on it, split hairs, obfuscate the truth… a bit boring.
Although the speakers do try, their topics are…dry.
And usually the lectures are taped, so there’s not even the frisson (okay, let’s not go wild here) the mild distraction (the possibility of tics, throat-clearing, unfamiliar windows) of a live performance.
Yesterday’s lecturer was particularly lawyerly.
The great thing about watching a videotaped lecture is that one is free to doodle while listening without actually being rude.
The other good thing is that you can eat a sandwich. Mine was tuna fish. I also had a little pasta salad.
But how long can you stretch out a tuna fish sandwich? Or a little pasta? The guy in front of me had a reddish ear. (You’d see it if this were in color.)
(This is a re-creation–I actually erased that drawing in case he turned around.)
It was a lecture on business torts–the types of actionable offenses people commit in advertising, for example. Be very careful about disparagement of competitors.
Elephants jump to hand. But everyone tells me that there’s no future in elephants–that that territory has been completely explored by Babar. You’ve got to spread out, they tell me.
Ears… ears… ears… koalas!
Okay, the first one is just recognizable, but the second—
One thing I never before realized is that koalas look remarkably like robots. Also, like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz. Especially if they are not done in color (which would show the variation in their fur.)
This was getting really discouraging and the lecturer had only just started on the Lanham Act.
I’m sorry, I can’t help it. At least there’s a little dog.
Okay, so there’s not even the little dog this time. But he’s tapdancing! When does Babar ever tapdance?
(What was that about disparagement?)