Posted tagged ‘Gym’

Nine Reasons to Go To the Country For August Weekend.

August 23, 2009
  1. You are getting awfully tired of those same old disciplined/sad faces at the gym on Friday night and early Saturday morning.  (See e.g. prior posts re gym.)
  2. You really have to get to your old house upstate.  An old country house which is not inhabited for weeks gets awfully mousey/moldy smelling during a rainy summer.  On the other hand, since you’re only going up for the weekend, there’s absolutely no time to do anything about any of that other than open the windows as wide as possible and stay outdoors whenever you can (i.e. when it’s only drizzling.)
  3. It’s blackberry season, hurray!  Yes, there seems to be some kind of blight.  (Japanese beetles?  Cyclical die-out?  Too many bears?!)  Still, it’s blackberry season, hurray!
  4. You spend all day blackberrying which means hiking, picking, swimming in ice cold water when the scratches really begin to sting.  Yes, your legs and arms are bleeding.  Despite the ice cold water.  But, you actually pick enough (despite the blight) to make a pie.
  5. Okay, so you’re too tired to make dough.  Still, you actually picked enough to make a pie!
  6. When your husband takes the dead robin off the screened-in porch, the old house really doesn’t smell so bad.
  7. You were able to arrange everything so you don’t have to go back till Monday morning.   No sitting, cursing, through Sunday night traffic jam, hurray!  No waiting in line at the changing of the bus in Kingston, carbon monoxide thinning the ranks of passengers until there are just enough to fill the seats.  No arriving back to Sunday night non-working subway, everyone on the platform hot, tired and sweaty, and you even hotter, tireder and sweatier when you slump into your unairconditioned  apartment.   No, this way, you’ll go back so early now, you’ll sleep all the way.
  8. Even more importantly: grass, clouds,  big sky, patches of blue, blend of cricket and streamsong, salamanders under thick rocks with every kind of salt-and pepper belly and backside, electric green through tree trunks, hay in the next field, the early fall of maple leaves on grey rock face, fawns still spotted.
  9. After two days, hiking, swimming, blackberrying, and avoiding mouse/mold smells, a little work-out at the gym seems invitingly easy.  The faces there say hello.

Early Saturday Morning Gym

August 15, 2009

(Before reading, you may wish to check out previous post re “Friday Night Gym” for analysis of comparative virtues.)

Five Reasons to Go to The Gym Early Saturday Morning

1.  It makes you feel incredibly disciplined.

2.   It’s not crowded.  The  other people there  look  sleepy-eyed but take-chargey.   You are quite sure, while avoiding all mirrors, that you look super take-chargey.

3.  These take-chargey people do not let the staff vacuum right next to where you huff.    Besides the staff is really sleepy-eyed and not in the mood to vacuum.  (They are the ones that kicked you out last night, remember?)

4.   If you go now, you don’t have to go later,  a time of  serious nautilus puddles.  Let’s not even talk about the Saturday afternoon pool.  (Has anyone studied the human body effects of diaper moisture retardants combined with chlorine? Lots and lots of chlorine?)

5.  You’re getting fat.

Five Reasons Not to Go to the Gym Early Saturday Morning

1.  Who anointed you as the keeper of the Discipline fleece?  And what about the links between sleep and productivity, huh?  Huh?

2.    Who said that “take-chargey” was a good look for you anyway? (BTW, you forgot  to take charge of the puffy circles under your eyes. )

3.  The staff really doesn’t care about your work-out schedule.

4.  If you went later, you could get kicked out at closing and you wouldn’t have to stay there so long.

5.  You’re getting fat no matter what.

If you want something to check out on a Saturday,  try 1 Mississippi at link above or on Amazon.

Friday Night Gym

August 14, 2009

Five Reasons To Go To The Gym Friday Nights

1.  It makes you feel incredibly disciplined.

2.  It’s really uncrowded.

3.  The staff are extremely attentive.

4.  It closes early so you don’t have long to work out.

5.  You’re getting fat.

Five Reasons Not To Go To The Gym Friday Nights

1.  It’s hard to feel good about being disciplined when the rest of the world is out partying.

2.  You see the same old people there every Friday night.  They are beginning to seem very same and very old.  You wonder about your own sameness and oldness quotients.

3.  The staff are so anxious to get rid of you they vacuum right where you huff.   You feel too bereft to ask them to stop, certain that they, at least, have other places to go.

4.  If you’re not going to work out very long, what’s the point?

5.  You’re getting fat anyway.