1. You wake up wishing you had a very mild case of swine flu.
2. Despite the two cups of tea, your energy doesn’t kick in till you notice your (old) dog pooping on the carpet.
3. After the clean-up, you do speed yoga, convincing yourself that it’s on the frontier between relaxation techniques and aerobics.
4. Your subway ride (only three stops on the express) is the most restful time of your day. (It somehow beats out the speed yoga.)
5. You re-read vampire novels as you walk from the subway to your office. You are more concerned about being seen by a co-worker than being hit by a car.
6. As you get your first cup of work tea, you can’t help thinking that even a mild case might be okay.
7. After your fourth cup, you are tense enough that, when you get a call from your apartment building, your first thought is that your (old) dog has died. You know that doesn’t make sense—(would the corpse smell already?) And yet you can’t help picturing fur leaking out from under your door. (Yech.)
8. You are too busy to check Robert Pattinson news even just one time.
9. Though when someone gives you (for Christmas) a Robert Pattinson calendar, it really makes your day.
10. You take the local home, happy for the extra stops.
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