Posted tagged ‘manicddaily’

“Making Me Feel Better

January 24, 2013

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Making Me Feel Better

I ask him, if I die–(if)
would he hold me
till the last moment.

I know he will, though not
why I need to hear it — I have no illness, not
yet, but he’s not
right here and tears of an instant
jam me, their heat as tight
as clothes I should have
grown out of–and I feel again
a child, home alone, sick
and out of school for the day, when, shaken
by the hollow house, I would go
outside and sit upon the curb–there, out
by the mailbox–even fevered–
so that there would be places, I thought,
where I could run;
so that I would not, I hoped,
be trapped;
imagining in the narrows of corridor
and mind, some body, padded with shadow, blocking
my every egress.

Now, I’ve had so many friends–
I won’t count them–who’ve gone already, trapped
inside bodies that would not
hold them, not here, and he says
‘oh, darling–’

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I am posting the above for Anna Montgomery’s great prompt at dVerse Poets Pub “Meeting the Bar” on flow and creativity.  It’s a wonderful article on creative engagement, and how that brings a kind of energy to one’s life and work.  I was thinking here more about flow – my personal blocks and twists–and really how the mind flows too – though mine sloshes more than flows, I think – like a rather leaky bowl! 

(The picture, albeit without elephants, is original.  So, as always, all rights reserved.)

ps – kind of a draftish poem – maybe the end should refer simply to bodies “that would not hold them here, and he says, ‘oh darling–” I don’t know.   Sometimes things flow too fast. k.

“Butterfly” – excerpt

January 23, 2013

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Once upon a time there was a kingdom in which the royal family was beautiful–perfectly beautiful.

Of course, there were occasional whispers that some young cousin had a hawkish nose, stringy hair, even an unfortunate birthmark. But by the time that particular royal child reached adulthood, the nose was aquiline, the locks luxurious, the skin uniform.

In ages before, the Nizamies had been better known for their strange “gifts” than their looks. The royal gifts were always thought of as magical, but they were just bits of magic–a single power– rather than a whole cupboardfull.

For some Nizamies (for that was the name of that clan), the power was but a parlor trick—an ability to spark a light or find an object–while in the case of others, it dominated the royal’s whole life, even the entire kingdom.

Take the great Queen Ayodyah. She was quite ordinary in most respects.  Her gift, however, was “followability”– an uncanny knack for making people trail after her, or, as later royal historians liked to call it, “leadership”.

Ayodyah’s gift was a bit annoying at balls, when the whole dance floor formed a conga train at her heels, but it proved invaluable at war, where not only her own army fell in behind her, but the opposing army as well.

Count Hyderadi was known for fireproofing. Nothing he owned -not matches, not kindling, not even marshmallows – would burn. The gift was a great boon to the Count during the drought of 1421 when forest fires broke out over the countryside and it was found that a simple deed of the burning acres to Count Hyderadi was all it took to quench the flames. The gift proved less of a boon, however, when the Count and his men were discovered in the King’s forests one dry night with torches and lamp oil. Then all it got him was a length of knotted rope.

This story, though, takes place some years after the deaths of both Queen Ayodayah and Count Hyderadi, during an age in the Kingdom of Zindabar when the Nizamie gifts had become much less important. During this time, in fact, the old magic was sometimes viewed as awkward,  especially since it was believed that, occasionally, the strange gifts affected the royal’s appearance. It was said, for example, that the great Queen Ayodyah had had a funny notch on her spine (which looked for all the world like a small tail), and that Count Hyderadi was constantly streaming with sweat.

And in the time of this story, no royal wanted a tail or to be overly sweaty. No, what had become important to the Nizamies was beauty, perfect beauty. That was deemed magic enough.

It was into this magically beautiful royal family that the Grand Duchess Ahmimaya Theodora Christina Nizamie Tureth was born.  She wasn’t a grand duchess then.  Her mother was the grand duchess and she was just a little tiny baby with a red wrinkled face and a voice that went ‘waah’.

But soon, as she grew older, she became a lot less red, less wrinkly, and instead of saying “waah”, was actually very happy most of the time.

Unfortunately, when she was thirteen all that changed.  Her parents’ boat was caught in a storm on the Great Inland Sea.  And although her mother and Nana, working together, had managed to keep her afloat, her father, and then her mother too, were drowned.  In other words, her life had been saved, but her life also, the life she had always known,  had been swept away.

So that instead of being a very happy non-duchess who spent most of her time learning, studying and talking with her parents,  and exploring, both with and without them, the gardens and forests and sea coast around their small but  remarkably cozy castle, and, as much as possible, avoiding Nana who was constantly telling her the proper way to stand, sit, look and behave, she was a very sad grand duchess who, accompanied by that same Nana, sat in a hot dusty train, headed south.

A summons had come from the capital.  The Queen, her mother’s sister, had called Ahmi to court.

Ahmi  only knew what her Aunt looked like from seeing her face on coins.  Even then, she’d not seen it much.  For her Aunt’s beautiful face was reserved for gold coins of the highest denominations.  And Ahmi, though now a Grand Duchess, did not actually see that kind of gold very much.

She wondered sometimes as they headed south, why she had not drowned too.  Why her mother, and then Nana, had not simply let her go.  A part of her sometimes wished they had.  But when she thought of that black swirl of wave, the chilling, choking force of the water around and above her, terror filled her chest, and she knew she could never truly wish for that.

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The above is sort of the preface of a fantasy novel I have written (but not published) called either “Butterfly” or “An I for an Eye.” (If you have any ideas about the title – not knowing anything about the book – please let me know.  (Also after initial posting I added a section that leads into main story.  So sorry for length.)  

I am posting this for Kerry O’Connor’s challenge on With Real Toads to create another world. The world is not described very vividly in the above excerpt, but as a preface, it seemed fairly self-contained. Plus I did the little drawing this morning of Queen Ayodayah (not actually an elephant.)

Thanks much for reading!

As always, all rights are reserved.

“Mismatched”

January 22, 2013

(Doesn’t completely suit the poem, but you get the idea. And it’s cold!!!!!)

Mismatched

She skidded
along the surface of time.
He dug his heels in.
Either way time flowed, bunching around
his ankles, splashing about
her curves.

Feet flexed, he leaned
into his wake, barely ahead
of inundation, while she, without
suavity of surf or ski, lurched
through her glide. They tried

to hold hands,
but it was difficult.
Even side by side,
a stretch, and when he dug in, and
she swerved, great
elasticity was needed.

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Posting the above, a re-write of an older poem for dVerse Poets Open Link Night, and also for Magpie Tales (where Tess Kincaid posts a pictorial prompt.) I don’t think my poem completely fits Tess’s picture, but it did give me the idea of returning to this poem. My awkward rendition below.

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Feelings On Inauguration Day

January 21, 2013
When I Hear Patriotic Songs Jazzed Up (No Offense Intended)

When I Hear Patriotic Songs Jazzed Up (No Offense Intended)

First, I want to say that I’ve never heard an “artistic” rendering of a patriotic song that I did not detest.  I mention this with no particular animus towards James Taylor, Kelly Clarkson, or Beyonce –none of whom I actually listened to during the inauguration.  (The minute someone starts singing a jazzed-up, drawn-out, wailed, yodeled, syncopated, or otherwise individualized version of any of My Country Tis of Thee, America the Beautiful, God Bless America, or the Star Spangled Banner, I find I have to either mute the sound, or jump out the window.  Oh why oh why oh why can’t someone just sing one of these beautiful songs as written?)

Second, I confess.  I do not love Michelle’s bangs.  I love her  – and I do understand the urge of someone turning 49 to look like a retro teenager– (I’ll even go so far as to agree with the President – sure they look great – she always looks great.)  But.. (there’s so much hair it’s a bit hard to see her face.)  But enough said!  It’s fine to try something new!

And I did. in an earlier verion of this post, feel that poet Richard Blanco and the minister doing the final invocation could have cut their remarks a little in light of the cold, and the length of the ceremony and the large magniciation — but I know they were doing a great and wonderfully inclusive job.

So  putting the irritation and pettiness aside, what do I feel?

Pride.

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(Okay, okay–and I thought the President’s speech pretty great.)

(P.S. sorry to seem so curmudgeonly.  I wrote this last night, late, after a fair amount of traveling.)

Feather-winged

January 20, 2013

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Untouched (or re-touched.)

No one stung either, thankfully.

“Remembered Blue” Flash Friday 55

January 18, 2013

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Remembered Blue

When I think of blue,
my closed-eyes mind sees green–
sheen of Minnesota lawn stretching flat
past pasture, where behind a straggle-wire
fence my grandmother straddled, impossibly,
a horse called grey as white
as her own curls, so very long ago that all
I truly remember is awe
as huge as the sky.

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55 belated for the G-Man.  Go tell him to have a great weekend.  You too. 

Ikebana

January 18, 2013

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This is from the Ikebana Show – “Waiting For Spring” of the Sogetsu Society NY Branch at the Nippon Club in good old NYC.  The three women who made this incredibly cool piece with flowers and boxes and green willow sticks are Chizuko Korn, Shizue Pleasanton, and Yoko Ikura.

I do not really understand Ikebana – Japanese flower arranging. I know it requires attention to angles and ratios and textures – many of the students of Ikebana at the show – demure and dignified Japanese ladies, some with grey hair, also had really cool combinations of clothes on – pearl necklaces and rhinestone pins, laquered flowers on black pinstriped lapels. A couple of others (younger women) just wore pink kimonos. Somehow it all sort of worked.

PS – since posting I have been told that half of the students in the classes taught by the society in New York are American and half Japanese, both men and women. Sorry for any inaccurate impression that I may have given in my post, as I really only attended the opening and did not mean to give any false impression as to the Society or classes.  It was a great opening and is a wonderful exhibition.

“Woe (the You) Is Me”

January 17, 2013

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Woe (The You) Is Me

You’re wrong. Tick.
You made a mis-tock-take.
And now there’s no clock–tick
that can be turnedtock–
back–tick. The stock prices
dropped–tick. The man kicked
the buck—tock–with the t’s-tick
not crossed–tock–nor the i’s dotted–tick–
fuck; the whole thing a mess-tock–
’cause you made a miss
tick, 
yourself a mistook–
tock– you less than a tick, miss–
You less than—

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This really is a draftish poem for the terrific and exacting Mama Zen at With Real Toads to write something (in 75 words or less) about “the hard stuff.” For me, making a mistake–becoming conscious of making a mistake–is an extremely unpleasant experience. Unfortunately, it is one I have with great frequency. (You’d think I’d get used to it!)

Here’s a reading. I’m not sure I got the tick/tocks right, but it will give some idea–

Speaking of Real Toads – Isadore Gruye has very kindly interviewed me there today.  Check it out!  

Midtown Blues?

January 16, 2013

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I Heart Beat

January 14, 2013
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Image by Kim Nelson (used with permission)

I Heart Beat

I heart you sky
I heart you blue
I heart you cloud
I heart you true.

I heart you here,
there too and fro’–
I heart you now
and then and mo’.

I heart you even
when eve do fall–
(and adam too)
I heart you all.

So, lord, don’t hurt me–
jes’ hold me tight,
so’s I can ear
your heart all night.

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Here’s a sort of ditty for With Real Toads, Kerry O’Connor, and a prompt focusing on beautiful images made by Kim Nelson. Don’t know about the last two stanzas!  Had something lighter –but you know me – if I can add some gloom, I will!  Oh well!

I am also posting for dVerse Poets Pub Open Link Night.