.
Leona, dear, mascara-plated,
Whiplash voiced, hair Grackle-lated,
Post christened her the Queen of Mean–
Her building’s pink now, sometimes green.
Yet she so loved her little Trouble
That bit of woof and fluffy bubble
She left twelve million for his care–
Excessive dough to wash dog-hair,
said the Judge, reducing it to two
(million).
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55 (not including the hyphens) memorial words for Leona Helmsley, whose building I walk through nearly every day in mid-town NYC. She’s been on my mind a lot because they have recently taken to lighting the building in dramatic colors. Pink for Valentine’s. Plus, I’ve also been thinking about love and/or the dearth thereof–she left $12 million to her dog, Trouble, causing a certain consternation among family members. Leona’s life was not without its difficulties, as she was convicted and served prison time for tax evasion; the testimony of those around her–particularly staff–was not terribly flattering, I’m afraid. Tell it to the G-Man.
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