Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category

Screen-Free

August 21, 2014

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Screen-free

This is the First Day of the Rest of My Life.
Determined not to live it in the blue light
of a computer screen,
I grab my notebook and
what turns out to be
a leaky pen.

This is the First Day of the Rest of My Life,
but already my fingers are blotted bluer
than the dawnish morn (this being the First Day
of the Rest of My Life, I’ve gotten up early)
and I’ve smudged the down comforter
with indigo.

I tell myself that anyone who will live like I will
in this, the Rest of My Life,
will, of course, have bedclothes stained
with ink and, probably also, tea,
but that feels depressingly like
the rest of my life, that is, the spotty part that came before.

I try to block out the smudge
with my notebook–for even at the Dawn
of this energetic, disciplined, real-world Rest of My Life, I do not have the vim
to get up and wash my hands, much less
the comforter–

Rub my fingers along the white pages,
but their blue-lined grid is stolidly oblivious,
the ink already too embedded in my skin
to rub off.

A lone cow lows
out the window,
somewhere down the valley,
but beneath the same pale sky.

 

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Here’s a sort of poem posted for two prompts–though I don’t know that it’s quite right for either.  One is from Victoria C. Slotto on dVerse Poets to write about patterns in our life; the other is Susie Clevenger’s post on With Real Toads, to use a Native American springboard–in this case, the line–“Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf.” – Tribe Unknown.  I don’t know how this came from that, but I think it arose from the idea that the big change would be just to look out the window in the morning with neither pen nor keyboard.  

The drawing above is an old one, and because in black and white, I did not include the blue smudges!  

An other trinity

August 17, 2014

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An other trinity

Three is thee
and me and the other
me, which occasionally equals
more–that is, when Other You comes to the fore, slips
through the door, pours itself
into that “now” so full
of you, me,
and Other Me.  Yes, I
know it’s not fair.  Other You too should
feel free to be here, should know that space will be made
in the shaded crook of my breastbone
(or hers), but don’t you see–
I only
have two arms, and one must
keep hold of that Other Me, which means
I’ve only the one side left (or right).  So…sorry–
hope you understand–um–and You too–
whom I do love truly.
(So does she.)

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Here’s a “triquain,” for Kerry O’Connor’s prompt on With Real Toads.  This is a new form with a syllabic breakdown of lines, developed by Shelley Cephas.   I think this one would be “triquain swirl.”

The rather silly drawing is mine–no good eraser handy! so sorry for the smudges–but you probably get the point.

“Nice” Blurb – Plea for Help

August 16, 2014

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As some of you may know, I have been working in an increasingly desultory fashion on the publication of a new novel, called Nice. (I say, “increasingly desultory” as it has become harder to work on this project the closer it is to completion.)

Unlike my first published novel, Nose Dive, which is a comical young adult mystery (and a lot of fun!), this is a serious novel, with an intense and, I hope, emotionally affecting, story.  It is about child sexual abuse; it represents years of work.

I think it really is a good novel, though I’ve worked on it so long it is hard for me to still look at it.  I am super happy with the cover picture, which I did myself.

Here’s my quandary–the sales information!  The little blurb that goes on Amazon and elsewhere!  This kind of thing is so darn hard for me that I  can hardly squeeze something out.

So what I am asking for–I don’t know–ideas==approval==is the below horribly embarrassing?

 

It is summer, 1968–Martin Luther King Jr. shot in April, Bobby Kennedy in June–“what in the world is happening to this country?” Americans wonder. 

It is summer, 1968, the civil rights movement in turmoil, the Vietnam War escalating, but Les, a ten year old suburban girl, has been trained to be nice.

Her teenage brother, Arne, on the other hand, aims for rebellion.

But they are kids, it is summer, it is 1968, and what they both truly want–aside from world peace–is to be a little more cool.

Then a distant relative visits, a cool cat, rebel of sorts, childhood favorite. 

“What in the world is happening?” Les wonders, as the unthinkable does.  

“What in the world is happening?” Arne wonders, as his sister changes, as he too is faced with a darker picture of growing up–

Their story traverses the landscape of country, family, heart.

Since posting – B. Young made some very useful suggestions and here’s a whole other approach:

Nice is a story of child sexual abuse and its aftermath.  It takes place in the summer of 1968, the U.S. reeling from the April assassination of Martin Luther King Jr., the June assassination of Bobby Kennedy, the escalating Vietnam War.  It is told from the points of view of a ten year old girl and her teenage brother, each separately finding a voice in the face of personal and political disillusionment.  

 

Better?  Too terse?  (I was going to add in here a very horrible joke, but cannot in the face of the terrible loss of Robin Williams this week.)

Any ideas?  Should it be more direct?  Less direct?  Should I just press approve/publish!?

The book will be issued by my own imprint, by the way, which is BackStroke Books, and when I do press publish, it will be available on Kindle and in paper.  I will let you know when.  I am aiming for cheap pricing so I do hope you’ll be able to read.

Ups/Downs

August 13, 2014

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Ups/Downs

Wings ring my temples.
At times, they flap,
their great éclat emulating
the birdheart’s elation with just beating.
Other times, they balk,
become a hulk of blind raptor,
shafts splintering eyes’ dim.
Worms, as if they were thoughts in seeded earth,
interlace the frayed feathers,
try to seize space,
make a way for creased daylight,
but all those mites that birds are prey to
suck at these ribs
of clay–

Noble flight winds down
to dead buzz,
éclat clatters,
but the heart hears only
that it’s beaten.

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Here’s a sort of poem for Grapeling’s Get Listed prompt on With Real Toads, Grapeling (Michael) posts a word list related to the film Dead Poet’s Society, and writes a lovely piece about the sadness around the death of the wonderful Robin Williams. (Check it out!)

I’m not sure the picture above is quite finished, but it is one of mine. All rights reserved.

Ps this poem has been edited since first posting.

How It Can Be (Not Such a Nice Microcosm)

August 8, 2014

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How It Can Be

She cried so hard face hurt,
loss pulling skin
as if cheeks were limbs,
brow tied to ropes
that warred with bound chin,
as if pain rode horses,
each chained to its own course,
all whipped.

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Here’s a belated and rather gloomy draft poem for Brian Miller’s micro poetry challenge on dVerse Poetry Pub–40 words or less–this just makes it with title.  (Granted, it’s not such a good title, but it does fit into the prompt!)  

p.s. drawing is mine, though an old one that doesn’t quite fit.  All rights reserved, thanks. 

How Things Sort Out

August 2, 2014

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How Things Sort Out

My mother looks up at me
from the crook of arm and comforter
and I say, “rest,” and she says, “sometimes,
when I’m lying down, I just can’t help thinking of–”
and I expect her to unspool
some much-wound thread of how
it all turned out okay
in the end, but instead, she says,
“my second grade teacher–”

The comforter is speckled with pink flowers; a stain, I notice, floats just
at the level of chest, a small maroon half-moon,
from who knows when, years–

“the Slapping Machine… and that
poor boy–”

I’ve heard of this teacher before, Mrs. White,
who made the kids memorize bible verses and
slapped them when they did not,
slapped them, it seems, for just about anything–

I’ve heard of the poor boy too, the one who was always
late, and for some reason
was particularly slapped,
especially when he cried,
my mother wanting to shout at
the teacher,
don’t you know he’s crying because his dad’s died,
killed himself when he lost
the family’s farm–

My mother wanting to shout
until the teacher slapped her too,
then made her hold a mirror as she cried,
all afternoon,
so she could see
how ugly she was, tear-marked–

My mother is 91 now
and much of what she once remembered
is clouded, and all the different things she always believed anyhow,
she now proclaims that she read in The New York Times,
though the stories she likes most are her own,
angled with self-promotion, self-
defense–

Which can sometimes be kind of irritating; not that we always
butt heads,
but it is hard
to support someone who is busy
propping up themselves, the space filled
with elbows–

Me too liking to self-justify, and how is it that
we carry these mirrors
always–

“Try not to think about it,” I tell her, again patting
the lid of comforter, its sprawl
of small pink flowers over
her folded arms, her own hand now over
one cheek–

 

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This is very much of a draft sort of poem, but I’m busy enough to know that if I keep working on it, I’ll just despair and never put anything up!  So, I’m posting just for me essentially and thanks for your indulgence.

Mange

August 1, 2014

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Mange

The mangy fox ranges
field to lawn,as
estranged from his sly skin, worn
thin–

I shout out “get away”
as I’ve been told,
the fox-stare back not bold,
but marble-shot direct
as yellow eyes reflect
a desert in the green,
this fox who shouldn’t be seen
except as stalk
in taller grass,
who pauses where I pass
to gnaw a paw–

All night the same–
the mangy fox who ranges through
my brain, kneading,
needing.

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Here’s a sort of poem very belatedly offered for Kerry O’Connor’s prompt on With Real Toads about alienation.  I think Kerry was thinking in more space age-y terms, but this came up.  Photo is mine of poor little fox wandering around. 

Sorry to have been so out of touch.  I have been working a great deal at my job and also busy with certain family obligations (and family pleasures.)  Miss miss miss posting poems, but just not possible right now. 

Somewhat Wandering Ode From Bumbler to Rumbler (Brian Miller)

July 19, 2014

 

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Somewhat Wandering Ode From Bumbler to Rumbler (Me to Brian Miller–NOT a would-be)

Oh you, who wander into trees mumbling,
counting feet on fingers, toed-sort bumbling–
Oh you, you would-be poet, you’re my kind.
Paths crossing, I used to send a secret sign–
a pantomime of Prufrock’s trousers rolled,
a shoulder shrug of Byron’s cloak’s unfold–
only my gesture, never adequately bold–
fell, I fear, quite flat, as you (of my same mold)
chanted unheeding by–pen, like mine, tracing
indecipherable squiggles, eyes facing.
either ground or sky, not even caring for
the proper shape of L’s–Hell, it’s more
than enough to walk, count feet, chew words–
saluting a fellow would-be seemed absurd!

But then all changed! With the coming of
a single line of hair that hovered above
a single head–Okay, Claudia helped too–
Kerry at her end–but he’s the ‘hawked who
manages a bee-line to one and all,
whether they post day or night–who hears the call–
dear Brian Miller–I send this ode to you–
though you don’t wander into trees mumbling,
and don’t like counting feet–(prefer rumbling)–
Thank you, poet, writer, family man–
for feats that far excel what counting can–
giving warmth, balm, light so very freely
even to those who still bump dark and treely. 

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Here’s a very belated ode to a poet for the dVerse Poets Pub three-year anniversary–

Thanks to Claudia Schoenfeld and Brian Miller for the wonderful dVerse Poets Pub site that has honestly changed my life–  Thanks too to Kerry O’Connor at Real Toads also celebrating three years. 

Thanks to the other poet sites, that I’ve not been such a part of, but that are wonderful resources for bumbling, mumbling solitary poets, like Poets United and Poetry Jam and The Mag.  

But the energy, indefatigability and plain old embrace of Brian Miller, who posts wonderful poetry and prose (at an incomprehensible rate) at Waystation One, are particularly incredible.   Note the would-be poet of the first stanza is someone like me–the Ode moves then to a true life poet–Brian.  (I’m a little worried this part of the poem is unclear, but for now will leave as is!)  

The pic not fully suited–I’m a little jammed to draw and wasn’t sure if Brian would really appreciate a portrait–but was taken by me earlier in the summer.  All rights, as always, reserved. 

The Magdalena

July 13, 2014

 

The Magdalena

The Rio Magdalena in Colombia
washes up the no-named
dead,
washes their feet
on its strands, laps
eyelids that catch
the sky’s tears, unwinds
river weed.

Near villagers wear
funeral weeds
for the no-named
and as supplicants to a God
who might pick them too
from dark currents.

 

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I often call my poems drafts as I am unbelievably indecisive about editing.  Here’s a poem that was relatively simple last night when I wrote the first draft–then grew very long and explanatory–then got simple and even shorter again, thanks to the brutal eye of my husband (who is a far better editor than I–why I don’t always show him things.)  I was going to post both poems, as they really are quite different from each other, but decided not to press my luck.  (And I even edited again since posting–agh.)

The poem was written for Grace’s prompt on With Real Toads, to write a poem responding to the work of Claribel Allegria, a Central American poet.  It was also directly inspired by the work of a filmmaker and photographer, Juan Manuel Echavarria, who’s made a film called Requiem NN, and also put together an exhibition of photographs, about Puerto Berrio, a town on the banks of the Magdalena, where many unnamed bodies have washed up (during periods of drug war violence).  Various townspeople would safeguard the remains and sometimes even adopt the unnamed victims, entombing them in large walls of sarcophagi.  (Of course, many townspeople had also lost family members to the violence.)

The above video is the trailer of the film, but does not really describe the adoption of the dead so much as the video below, an interview with the director.

 

 

Misspoken

July 6, 2014

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Misspoken

I let my tongue slip–
I think to whip
some moment into shape–
but it flips out, flop,
sloppy eel, pink as a weal
of scar, blinking
in any brightness.

It won’t re-swallow
quick–
so I tug the big lug
over my shoulder
trailing a fug
of mouldering
not-meant.
i really didn’t. 

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Here’s 55 for Mama Zen’s prompt on With Real Toads.   The drawing, such as it is, is mine as well as poem; as always, all rights reserved.