A Time (Not-Paradelled)
A Time (Not-Paradelled)
Mourning doves marked time in those hours of rose.
Mourning, dove-marked, timed those hours in rows.
We listened as land listens to echoes, carefully.
(we listened as land listens to echoes carefully.)
Mourning time, we listened as echoes;
land listed, doves rose.
What else were we to do
with those carefully marked hours–
****************************
Here’s a sort of poem that’s not quite right for two challenges–With Real Toad’s 55 prompt by Fireblossom/Shay. (The piece IS 55 words–) And part of a sort-of Paradelle for Brian Miller’s prompt on dVerse Poets Pub. This is a form made up as a kind of joke by Billy Collins–so a modification seems fine to me. (I think the full form would work better in a humorous poem.)
For some reason my picture got cut. Agh! All rights reserved as always.
Also I’ve edited the poem since posting a couple of times–Thanks! k.
Explore posts in the same categories: poetryTags: a sort of a paradelle, A Time Not-Paradelled, manicddaily, Mourning dove poem, Mourning Doves have a very sweet song, Only 55 words!, time past has passed
You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.
ManicDDaily 
August 3, 2014 at 12:19 pm
I find the form to be so full of repetition that it makes nonsense of itself and the whole concept of form poetry, which maybe is what is perversely intended (disclaimer: I am not a Collins fan, and I like forms)–you’ve done a great job of taming it here, k, so that it doesn’t fly off into mere rote, exaggeration, or silliness–the plays on words are stunning and apt, especially the first two lines and the echo part. Really liked it, and all kudos for doing something serious and real with a parody-form. I also note and tip the hat to your discriminating use of the comma. ;_)
August 3, 2014 at 1:57 pm
Ha. Thanks. K.
August 3, 2014 at 2:15 pm
Thanks–I left out my pic–it was a recycled one, but with a pretty background. Thanks again.
In terms of form–I love the idea of using homonyms for a form like that–some times they can seem kind of gimmicky, but they can make for an interesting word problem. k.
August 3, 2014 at 1:26 pm
i think that if we took the time to listen as land listens to the echoes…ah we might be better off…i like the little changes line to line…and after the repetition that last bit kinda pops
August 3, 2014 at 2:15 pm
Thanks, Brian. k.
August 3, 2014 at 1:37 pm
Oh, lovely!
August 3, 2014 at 1:52 pm
I think you’ve just developed a new form, Karin, and it works so well.I completely zoned out on the paradelle prompt. Good for you to take it and develop it for yourself.
August 3, 2014 at 2:13 pm
Thanks, Victoria. k.
August 3, 2014 at 2:05 pm
its lyrical.. it should have music.. lovely!!
August 3, 2014 at 2:23 pm
This repetition is like the knell of a bell that rings for … Excellent.
August 3, 2014 at 3:28 pm
Very creative, K…your picture and poem are unparalleled, really!
August 3, 2014 at 6:28 pm
Oh my gosh, I love this.
August 3, 2014 at 10:33 pm
This is really cool!
August 4, 2014 at 12:27 am
Those morning doves are rising (they rose) in unison didn’t they!
Right away I was reminded of our five-year-old grand-daughter’s telling yesterday of someone she knew who had been playing rough. I wasn’t tuned in real good and said to her, “Ruff, ruff.” She told me, “Papa, there are two meanings of the word ‘rough’.”
..
August 4, 2014 at 5:59 am
The first repetitions made a perfect sense to me, as echoes does.. and sometimes just listening to that mourning is the best we can do..
August 4, 2014 at 8:33 am
I’m not sure I understand the purpose of the paradelle, but I do appreciate your clever word-play and neat conceptualization in 55 words.
August 4, 2014 at 10:09 am
The paradelle is a bit of a goof, only the repetition can be fun. But I agree with you–the purpose of a form is really to help you find meaning and lyricism and not to defeat it. Thanks, Kerry. k.
August 4, 2014 at 7:41 pm
wow – I saw the prompt and immediately said, no, but as Hedge notes, you rocked it ~
August 5, 2014 at 6:01 am
reading this as i listen to the mourning doves coo out on the morning roof… i really like it. you have style to spare, Karin.
August 5, 2014 at 6:03 am
Thank you, Marian. k.