Archive for the ‘Robert Pattinson’ category

Big Brother In a Bowler? A Twit Who Tweets? A Poor Guy Who Just Got Carried Away? Translates Into No Respite For Robsten!

February 27, 2010

Bowler Hat With Periscope and Smart Phone

The entertainment blogosphere is literally atwitter with news that Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are apparently a true life couple  after all.   While it seems a bit odd that Rob and Kristen have made such an effort to hide their liason (although it has been a PR bonanza), the weirdest recent incident revolves around one of the many who’s spied them out.

And who is that?  A Conservative British politician, Nicholas Clark, British Council member, who, spotting the couple at a cozy meeting in a London pub, tweeted about them repeatedly, down to the  “on the lips” part.  (As if Rob and Kristen didn’t have enough trouble with paparazzi, now they have to worry about British council members.)

Doesn’t the guy have something better to do?  (Okay, okay don’t I have something better to do?  Yes, but my excuse is that I’m not British and I’m trying to keep up a daily blog.)

Seriously, what happened to the famous British reserve?  The minding of one’s own business.

Clark later apologized “2” the couple, an apology which, it seems, was also made by Twitter (unless he habitually substitutes numbers and letters for words.)

To satisfy the insatiable demands of the followers of this blog for news of Robsten, I tried to do a little independent research re Clark.  I had a very hard time finding a Nick or Nicholas or Nicolas Clark (there are several spellings of the name in the Robsten articles)  who is a councilmember.  But I have found a Nick Clarke, a conservative Councilmember for the county of Fulborne in Cambridgeshire, who (believe it or not!) has a blog of his very own.   Aha!

(P.S. if Nick Clarke, Cambridgeshire, is the wrong Nick Clark, many apologies.)

What’s Up With Robert Pattinson? Cartoons? Elephants? Is It All Just Coincidence? Hmmm…..

February 2, 2010

Rob Pattinson With Beard

Every once in a while, one is lucky enough to have confirmation that one really does exist in the world, and that, despite all evidence to the contrary, the little pebbles of one’s actions create ripples that are more extensive than one could ever have projected.

The confirmation of my particular ripple effect has come in the convergence of two extremely newsworthy events:

1.  Robert Pattinson is the subject of a new biography written in cartoon form for Fame magazine, and

2.  Robert Pattinson is  slated to star in the film Water For Elephants to be directed by Sean Penn and supposedly to be shot in upstate New York this summer.

Ahem.

I humbly submit that this blog has long combined writing about Robert Pattinson with

(i)  cartoonish depictions of same;

Rob Pattinson With Yankees' Cap

(ii)  elephants,

Vampire Elephant Contemplating New Moon

and (iii)  a dash of upstate New York (also with a couple of elephants).

A Couple of Elephants in the Catskills

The coincidences just mount up!

Coincidences?  Hmmm…..

Further investigation may be required.

Further Investigation

Rob–if, in fact. you are reading this, give me a call!

For more Pattinson, check out the Robert Pattinson category on the home page of this blog;  for more elephants, check out the elephant category.  And, for even more elephants, check out 1 Mississippi by Karin Gustafson on Amazon.com

Rob Pattinson – Homage to Haiti, Wolf Pack, or Soltzenitsyn?

January 23, 2010

Rob Pattinson – Homage To Haiti, Wolf Pack or Soltzenitsyn?

Breaking News:  Rob Pattinson joins the wolf pack (in animatronic form) in Hope for Haiti telethon.  Apparently (finally) broken by the constant onslaught of paparazzi and palpitating Twilighters, Rob seems to have traded fangs for fur, smolder for shell shock.  Although Rob’s message, delivered with the lightness (and facial hair) of Alexander Soltzenitsyn, was taped from London, he looked dazed, as if he’d seen, first hand, the horrors of Port-au-Prince.  I like Rob, and despite my sympathy for charity, I hate celebrities simpering about disasters, so I’m going to assume that he wasn’t simply stoned or disinterested, but young, embarrassed, and not great at reading from a teleprompter.

Why I Like Rob Pattinson Better Than Pat Robertson

January 14, 2010

1.  He plays guitar.
2.  And piano.
3.  And not on the desperate wish of sometimes desperate people for a prescribed means of being safe in a unpredictable and unsafe world.
4.  He (Rob) readily acknowledges that the vast amount of admiration he receives is simply insane.
5.  When he says something deceptive, he is openly tongue-in-cheek.  (The doleful shakes of his head are accompanied by self-deprecating laughter.)
6.   He admits (at least,  in vampire persona) that no one can truly know the fate of souls.
7.  He admits (in every persona) that he’s an actor.
8.  I wouldn’t want to even think about whom Robertson might be secretly dating.
9.   And then, well, there’s the hair.

Amazing Sight on Isle of Wight! (Robsten Above the Radar!)

January 12, 2010

Breaking news!  Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart sighted together on a New Year’s getaway outside a grocery store in Ventnor, a small British resort (which sounds suspiciously like a property on the Monopoly board), on the Isle of Wight.

Hope is not lost!  After weeks of worldwide speculation, then doubt, then near silence (and possibly despair),  proof has finally been found that a young handsome movie star will fall in love with a young beautiful movie co-star.  (What a revelation!)

Though apparently on a secret hideaway, the couple generously, but separately, posed for pictures with a local resident.  These pictures were then, somehow, posted on a local blog, which led to island’s immediate infestation by teenage girls:  “all the young girls have been trying to find him,” said store manager Jez Harmer. “They have been out on a hunt.”

No luck for these fans, however.  “It’s literally a mystery,” Harmer said.

The mystery Harmer was referring to is not quite clear–that the fans descended so quickly?  Where Robsten has gone?  That they posed for pictures in the first place?

Soon after the sighting on Wight, internet “news” sources wrote that Robsten was planning to buy a house on Ventnor.  (Just like in the game.)

Dreaded End-Of-Vacation-Sunday Night

January 3, 2010

It’s that dreaded-end-of-vacation-Sunday night.  A sick feeling drips from the back of my eyes into the center of my stomach.  Dread.  Anxiety.  Stress.   I remember suddenly all the things I was sure I would have plenty of time to do over the last few days, and simply didn’t.  What?  Do?  Remember?  Care about?

Uh-oh.

So now it’s back-to-work-Sunday-night, and any glow of vacation has somehow transformed into an ulcerous slow burn.

It’s a feeling that is probably nearly universal.

I’m guessing that even Barack Obama, as he heads back from Honolulu to DC, feels a certain queasiness.

Janet Napolitano has undoubtedly been feeling it for days.

And what about all the other people I spend virtual time with?  Is Robert Pattinson happy to be going back to LA after a holiday at home in London?  LA is certainly sunnier.   But it was announced today that he is supposedly in the top running for an award for Worst Actor of 2009 (a “Razzie”), so he can’t be feeling too great.

What about all those students going back to school?  It may be fun to, like, see friends, but getting up and going to class where you’re not allowed to text, talk, or sleep, is, like, a bummer.

And the teachers.  It’s probably pretty difficult to imagine “bright, shining, morning faces,” when you know you are going to be faced with glum, sullen, sleepy faces, and possibly, a metal detector.

In New York City, the discomfort of this end-of-vacation-Sunday-night is compounded by a vicious, flesh-biting cold.  (Which, frankly, casts all those narratives about the wonders of frigid vampire embraces into serious doubt.)  Who is going to be able to stand to even go out tomorrow morning?  And why won’t it just snow three feet and close the City down?

The only person in my world who seems truly untroubled by the dread of this Sunday night is my little old dog, Pearl, depicted below.  And even she seems to be having trouble sleeping.

Wakeful Pearl

But not much.

Not So Wakeful Pearl

If you like elephants as much as dogs, check out 1 Mississippi by Karin Gustafson.  Thanks.



Boxing Day – Checking Up On Robert Pattinson

December 26, 2009

December 26th, Boxing Day, which is not, as one might expect, a day for finally hashing out all of the tension that has been building over Christmas (but which one felt compelled by the very fact of Christmas not to hash out.)  (Oh, wait, maybe that compulsion was not quite strong enough.)

Whatever.  The “boxing” in Boxing Day actually refers to boxes.  In England and Commonwealth countries, December 26th was traditionally the day in which presents were exchanged particularly with the “worthy but less worthy” people in one’s life, servants, trades people, slightly more distant friends, rather than on Christmas itself which was reserved for family, religion, and eating.

In the U.S., many devote Boxing Days to frantic sales shopping, to acquiring boxes, I guess.

But since I’m not much of a shopper, I’ve always viewed the day as a time of ultimate, luxurious, relaxation, a day which is far less regimental than Christimas, but still has a lot of festive food hanging about—panetone, figs, gingerbread, slightly wilted champagne.

Nowadays, presents from friends, rather than family, are typically given before rather than on Boxing Day.  The very best one I got this year, from a follower of this blog, was a Robert Pattinson calendar.    The calendar cover shows Rob pushing back his trademark hair so that a slightly enlarged vein shows on one-side of his forehead.  (The vein is somehow vampiric, although I’m not sure if it’s the type of thing that would be typical of vampires, or attractive to them.)

Rob has been conspicuously absent from the public scene of late, and even from this blog.   First, Rob seems to be trying hard to lay low.  (He must be exhausted.)   Secondly, his appearance in New Moon was enough to dose many people for a long long while.  (No offense, Rob.  The lines, the stiltedness, all those animatronic wolves, aren’t really your fault.)

There have been stories, of course; a whole industry has been built on Rob Pattinson stories, and it can’t wind down on a dime.  The biggest was how Rob “freaked out” when one fan jumped out of a car to kiss him, and then confessed that her mom had tried to stop her because she had Swine Flu.   (Frankly, I don’t think it’s fair to call Rob getting irritated over this “freaking out.”)

Also, Rob went to a birthday party and was photographed getting a ride afterword with Katy Perry (and others), and was immediately declared to be Perry’s lover.  (The next day he was disowned by Perry who tweeted that she doesn’t “do vampires.”)

He was also reported to be wooing Emilie de Ravin (costar in “Remember Me”) with high culture because they had a photo session in an LA museum.

Despite his reduced appearance on the tabloids, Rob was voted the man girls would most like to find under the mistletoe.  Ever the gentleman (and I actually mean this), he responded to an interviewer’s question as to whom he would most like to find under the mistletoe with a giggle, and  “Ricky Gervais.”  This was reported under the blockbuster headline, “Robert Pattinson Reveals His Fantasy ‘Under The Mistletoe’ Kiss.”

Boxing Day, the kind of day that gives you the leisure to look into such important matters.

Ah.

Newspeople, Bloggers, Blocking Writer’s Block

November 30, 2009

Yesterday, I wrote a kind of odd post about “Celebrity News” which focused on the addictive quest for celebrity in our culture.  I also discussed the intense craving of some newspeople, particularly TV newspeople, to be people “in the news” as well as people discussing it.

I felt a little guilty writing so dismissively about newspeople’s quest for attention.   It did not escape me that bloggers could be said to suffer from similar cravings.

I can’t speak for all bloggers—I only really know one.   Still, I think the average blogger’s pursuit of attention is somewhat different from that of the average TV newsperson.  First, the newsperson often seems to be embued by grandiosity;  a (perhaps inherent) narcissism has already been gorged by all the staff persons hovering– brushing their hair, checking their noses, patting their tummies—(wait a second, that’s spaniels–)

A blogger, in contrast, tends to be alone when working, either by choice or happenstance.  (The blogger’s family, losing all hope of a dinner at home, has gone out.)   The blogger, unlike the TV newsperson, or any TV persona, receves little coddling; their “stats” are a pretty good ego-toughener.   Moreover, the blogger knows that even the few that do “view” the blog may look for a second at most—the time it takes to realize that a mouthwatering tag like “Robsten” has led to no new gossip and questionable adulation.

As a result, the blogger must garner sustenance from the age-old wisdom of Gandhi, as quoted by that newly-minted sage, Robert Pattinson, in the trailer of his upcoming movie, Remember Me: “Gandhi said that whatever you do in life is insignificant, but it’s very important that you do it.”  (Sorry, but in the downswing from the manic side, I find myself studying this trailer.)

Which brings up what may be the most important difference between the TV newsperson’s motivations and the blogger’s.  The blogger (or at least the only blogger I know) does not crave attention so much as expression.  Yes, the blogger is thrilled when the number of hits rises, but his (her)  most engaging and happy moments, are those spent actually writing, typing, and cursorily editing, each post.  And then, of course, the pressing of the little button that says “Publish,” and the watching of that little button spin.

This is something for those with writer’s block to remember.   Try to get hooked on the process, and not to think too much of the impression that you, as the person engaging in the process, are making.  Of course, you need to keep your audience in mind.  You are trying to communicate.  You want your readers both (i) to be able to follow your work and (ii) to want to follow your work.   But try to keep the focus on the the writing, the message, and not on yourself as its deliverer.  Writing is not about getting your nose powdered, head (or tummy) patted, but about putting the words on the page.

Celebrity News

November 29, 2009

Addiction has long plagued man (and woman).  (Even, as was shown at the Central Park Zoo a few years ago, polar bear.)   There are the standard traps—alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, and, if you are a polar bear, your 9 by 12 artificial arctic pool.   But addiction is not only a by-product of human nature, it’s also a creature of its time.  As a result, there are always new and interesting practices that people can get taken over by—crystal meth, online shopping, computer gaming, non-stop twittering or facebook checking (non-stop “stat” checking if you are a blogger), texting while driving, the 24 hour news cycle.  Even worse than an addiction to the 24-hour news is an addiction to the 24-hour celebrity news cycle;  worse than that, is the intense craving for celebrity status itself–the obsession with achieving fame.

Some addictions are obviously more damaging than others.  I, for example, view an addiction to either (a) Robert Pattinson, or (b) the Twilight books, as relatively benign.  They may be damaging to one’s reputation as a serious and/or thoughtful person, but they  are a relatively cheap indulgence, don’t truly harm others (except, perhaps, a thoroughly bemused spouse), and can even be satisfied in chocolate.  (See e.g. new Twilight assortments with foil wrapped and embedded portraits! )

Both Twilight and Pattinson also have the absolutely most healthy quality an addiction can have, which is that they get pretty boring pretty quickly.  (No offense, Rob; it’s not you so much as the dialogue.)

The addiction to the pursuit of celebrity status is a little more troubling.   Recent examples include Michaele and Tareq Salahi, the couple who crashed last week’s White House State Dinner, and Richard Heene, the father of the “Balloon Boy,”–all people apparently addicted to the pursuit of their fifteen minutes.

What’s more worrisome to me, however, is the Salahish, I mean salacious, pursuit of celebrity by people who once played serious and dignified roles in our culture.   I particularly mean people in the news business, who seem, increasingly, to want also to be people “in the news.”

In the early years of televised news, there was a dignity to the newscaster–Walter Cronkite, Frank McGee, David Brinkly, were TV personalities, but soberly somber.   We all know how this has changed in more recent years.   The reasons are obvious and not new—advertisers want ratings, outrageous and/or boorish commentators, perky blonde reporters, and “news” which is really entertainment (i.e. reality shows, sports, sensational crime shows) apparently achieve them.   Recently, however, the “celebritization” of newspeople on TV has not only become more intense, it has also spread to other sections of the press, which, due to commercial pressures and online versions, have  become increasingly TV-like.  For example, the New York Times now posts photos and videos, and advertises blogs and tweets, of its op-ed writers.  To some degree, this is useful;  you can better understand the overall stance of a commentator, and, if you like, you can read a lot more of them, but sometimes, well, you end up wanting to read a whole lot less.

Politicians increasingly crave “celebrity-style” status as well.  (Yes, Sarah Palin.)  As Colbert has demonstrated through his “Colbert bumps,” it’s better, election-wise, to be known, even if slightly ridiculed.  (Ideally, if apearing on Colbert,  it’s better to be known, and if ridiculed, also good humored.)

I guess people want circuses, even when bread is in short supply.

Ten Reasons To Be Thankful In 2009

November 25, 2009

1.  That Robert Pattinson was not in fact hit by a taxi fleeing fans in New York;

2.  and that he exists.

3.  That Lehman Brothers could only fall once;

4.  and that it didn’t happen this year.

5.  That our President (thank God!) has not been the subject of violent attack, despite all the crazy talk.

6.  That we still have a banking system, despite all the crazy talk.

7.  That Captain Sully Sullenberger did not allow his plane to crash into midtown Manhattan, even if the automatic pilot system supposedly could have landed the plane on its own.  (I don’t believe that.)

8.  That Levi Johnston is not our son-in-law.

9.  That Swine Flu has not mutated into a life-threatening epidemic like the 1917 Spanish Flu.

10.  Speaking of the 1917 Spanish Flu, that Edward Cullen didn’t  survive it.   Or did survive it.  Or did whatever he was supposed to have done.

Enjoy your thanks-giving.

And, as always, thank you all for reading.

(If you get a chance, please check out 1 Mississippi by Karin Gustafson at Amazon or on ManicDDaily home page.)