ManicDDaily

One of the great things about writing a daily blog is that it gives you something to do at night.

One of the great things about writing that daily blog in the morning is that your night is suddenly amazingly, wonderfully, free.

I don’t mean to make not writing the blog sound so great—but, yesterday, after approximately eleven months of daily posts, the prospect of a blog-free evening felt well worth the  sinking anxiety that descended on me as I made my way  (later even than usual) to the office.

That feeling of freedom even felt worth the shoddy speed yoga I inflicted on myself (after using up all my morning yoga time on the deficiencies of presidential desks.)  (See yesterday’s post.)

When I came home last night, I told myself, gaily, that I’d make up for the shoddy yoga by going to the gym for a really good work-out.  Then I might even get to bed early.

Unfortunately, staying up till 2 a.m. can be habit-forming.   As is finding something to distract you at the gym.  (Yes, I do understand that it is probably not optimal to lift weights with a book on your lap.)

So, instead of focusing on triceps, or sleep, I poured myself into the immensely popular Steig Larsson book that’s been sitting on my shelf several months –The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. I’m not quite sure why I’ve avoided the book—maybe  because a slightly pushy friend has been slightly pushing it;  maybe because I’d been warned that it describes (spoiler alert) some fairly sadistic violence against women.

The violence so far (I’m about ¾ through), has been manageable.  But, heeding the warnings, I forced myself to put the book down at around 2 before something so terrible happened that I would not be able to shut my eyes.   (I even left time–2-2:30 – to read something else for a while, something innocuous in the sexual violence department.)

Frankly, that discipline amazed me.  Even more amazing is the fact that I’m actually blogging in the A.M. again, instead of lying here in bed reading.  My mind suddenly tells me that this means  I’m planning to finish the book during the day somehow, and then buy the next one (the second in the trilogy by Larsson) for this evening.

Actually, I’m not sure I’d really call that discipline.

This, by the way, is one of the great things about mania—it always finds you something to do at night.