Posted tagged ‘James Brown’

When the “Cool Crowd” Becomes the Absolutely Freezing Crowd

January 30, 2010

Question Is: Will She Make Room For You?

Last week, on a relatively balmy day, I wrote about being part of the “cool crowd”.  That is, those people who, out of carbon, monetary, or logistical concerns, keep their indoor heat low (or nonexistent.)

Today, temperatures in downtown Manhattan have sunk to the teens, and the cool crowd is likely to be shivering.  (At least anyone in my apartment is.)

Here are some tips as to how to handle these low temperatures without losing cool crowd status:

1.  Huddle with your dog in a small closet which is out of the wind and layered with clothing (both hanging and fallen to the floor.)

2.  If the dog won’t make room for you, bake.   Bread, pies, cookies.   (This uses some fossil fuels but is at least productive of something besides heat.)    People say that chopping kindling warms you twice, first when chopping, then when burning, but baking goodies warms you three times:  once in the hot oven, secondly, when supplying you with calories, and third, as an extra layer of flab.

3.  Tape a hot water bottle to your stomach, under the down blanket.   (If you are like one of the followers of this blog, try one of those toasted rice or corn cloth bags that you can heat up in a microwave.)

4.  If you don’t have a hot water bottle, or a toasted rice or corn bag, sit with a turned-on laptop on your bare stomach.  If your ears are cold, try calling your mom on your cell phone.   (That’s a joke, Mom.)  (Seriously, Mom.)   (I like long phone conversations too.)

5.  Drink hot caffeinated beverages (perhaps while talking to your mom) until you get such a splitting head-ache that you really do crave some nice cold air.

6.  Turn on James Brown.  Dance.  Make sure to close your blinds.

7.  Spend as much time as possible outdoors.  Preferably in some cozy little café.  Or, as the evening chill falls, bar.