My online astrologer wrote that the troublesome opposition between Saturn and Jupiter this weekend might bring up a host of old, but nettling, problems. I don’t actually pay that much attention to my online astrologer these days. Any astrologer who predicted, as he did, that the economic downturn of 2008 would improve markedly at the end of August 2008—that is, a couple of weeks before the collapse of Lehman Brothers—has lost an identifiable percentage (let’s say 65) of my confidence.
That said, it was a nettling weekend. I felt the other side of manic, that is depressed enough last night, to actually seek out images of Robert Pattinson on my blackberry. (I had no internet connection.) (Yes, it was pathetic.)
The images were very very small, and frankly, some of the ones that were retrieved were irretrievably model-ly. Plastic. They looked about as much like my preferred Pattinson as elevator music sounds like real music (i.e. not much.)
Still, I persisted, thumbing the little keys to next and next, until I finally got to a couple of tousled-haired, sweet smiles. I felt immediately a bit better.
Yes, it’s very weird.
Seriously.
In my defense, my interest really is not combined with any fantasies about Pattinson, not even a narrative line. (Other than the fantastical stories of the Twilight books, I suppose. Though, those are not my fantasies. I don’t even identify with them except perhaps with the heroine’s physical clumsiness, and …loyalty, and, okay, there’s the whole unrequited love aspect.)
Still, feeling stressed, I guess, yet non-manic, I sought out the little postage stamp pictures. (See e.g. post “From Rat Race to Rat Rut.”)
The whole scenario reminds me of my dog (my family’s dog) whose name is Pearl. Pearl is a very cute dog. White tousled fur, black-nosed and eyed. An easily anthropomorphized face whose (very cute) expressions run the gamut from “delighted”,to “quizzical”, to “I want,” to “pretty please” to “I don’t want” to “oh no!”
She looks a bit like a classic cartoon, a children’s toy, which is to say mopsy, fluffy but ragtag, bemused.
I am Pearl’s groomer. Which is to say, she is not terribly well-groomed, certainly not symmetrical or in any way poofy.
People absolutely love her. Passersby stop and stare at her when we walk. They smile. They laugh. Small children reach out their hands.
The public reaction to Pearl has often made me feel that perhaps my whole purpose in life, the secret but true reason I was put on this earth, has nothing to do with my work, my wonderful wonderful children, or even the payment of taxes. But simply to walk this cute little dog around, and, by doing so, to brighten peoples’ days.
Which may be, at least a part, of Robert Pattinson’s purpose.
Does it have something to do with tousled hair?
Hmmm…..
Check out 1 Mississippi (Karin Gustafson) at link above or on Amazon. Thanks!
ManicDDaily 
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