Posted tagged ‘paparazzi’

A Real Rob Pattinson – Kristen Stewart Day

November 8, 2009

I had a real Robert Pattinson-Kristen Stewart day today.  This is not to say that I:

1.  Googled their names;
2.   Checked any other sources of current “news” about them;
3.   Looked at any Twilight or New Moon trailers;
4.   Caught sight of any super handsome male or hot chick in my apartment.

Nope.   What I did do was spend most of an incredibly beautiful day indoors.  In my case, this had nothing to do with the adulation of millions of fans, or the doggedness of  hundreds of paparazzi, but simply the press of work that needed to be done on a computer.  I told myself repeatedly I should do my work while my energy and resolve were strong.  Nonetheless, as the sun moved across the sky (outside my window), I grew grouchier and grouchier, more and more depressed.

Finding lovely patterns of light on my floor did not make me feel better; even sitting in those spots of light did not do the trick.

I finally gave up/gave in/succumbed, stepped out into a brilliant day.  Light bathed the New York Harbor, the horizon literally glowed.  No one, running through a fountain, screamed for me to stop.  I kept my shirt on.  My shoes are not brown.

Despite my lack of brown shoes and six-pack, despite my lack of long curly dark hair, for that matter, I thought of Rob and Kristen.  What I thought of was all those days when they weren’t filming New Moon and Eclipse and felt stuck in their respective luxury hotel suites (or same luxury hotel suite.  Whatever.)   Not able to go out into the sunlight—not because of the Volturi, but the vulturi–all those nonstop camera clicks.

It made me sympathetic with Kristen’s recent explosion, even of all the f-words, and Rob’s occasional surliness.   Yes, they’re both making tons of dough; but the value of a quiet walk on a public riverbank on a beautiful sunny day is pretty hard to calculate, and must be very hard to give up.

Hey Rob! Hey Kristen! The Jury’s In Session!

October 26, 2009

I’ve always thought that one of the biggest difficulties faced by any celebrity is the inability to spend time peacefully and quietly in public.

Robert Pattinson (surprise!) is an obvious case in point.  This, in fact, is one of the main reasons I am so interested in him.  (NOT because of his chiseled good looks, his self-deprecating charm, any confusion I have between him and Edward Cullen, the sweet, rich, loving, handsome vampire he portrays.  Not even his hair.)

No, I find Rob fascinating simply (okay, partly) as a study in modern day fame:  the poor guy’s life has been upended.

Sure, there’s been good stuff—movie contracts, money,  a possible love relationship with Kristen Stewart.

But look at what’s come along with all of that—virtual (in all senses of the word) non-stop surveillance.

Rob may be fairly private in his hotel room (maybe), but he cannot do anything in a public space without the constant click and taunt of paparazzi–paparazzi, combined with the more welcome, but undoubtedly wearing, attention of fans.

What’s a teen idol to do?

Jury Duty!

I have recent first hand experience of jury duty (if not, of actually serving on a jury), so I feel quite qualified to make this recommendation.

Think about it, Rob.  Jury duty has not even been that bad for me, who, despite my persistent blogging, does not have either name or face recognition.  For someone like you, who could not film Remember Me on the streets of New York this past summer without (a) a security detail, (b) a Pattinson “lookalike” (or at least “dressalike”),  (c) a 7ft. high wooden box to stand behind; and (d) a gang of paparazzi, jury duty could be a real godsend.

Here’s why:

1.  Photographic devices are not allowed into most court facilities.  (Which is great news for the media-pressured; the soft shushing of colored pencils is a lot more soothing than camera clicks.)

2.  There are loads of law enforcement officers in courthouses either (a) enforcing the law, or (b) under indictment.  Either way, they will not take kindly to paparazzi pulling out their iPhones for a sneaky snap.

3.  The jury areas  (at least in New York County) are quite pleasant, especially if you avoid the relative comfy seats in the main windowless jurors area, and go for the uncrowded wooden benches in the outside hall where large, south-facing, windows give sunny views of downtown Manhattan.  (It’s almost like a spa!  With benches!)

4.  Okay, the pay’s a six or seven digit cut from your current wage scale, but jury duty offers a young actor a great opportunity to study human nature in all its varieties and vagaries.  The emotional gamut runs from bored, to worried, to bored, to scared stiff, to bored, to deceptive, to bored, to confessional, to bored, to greatly greatly relieved, to very very sorry.

5.  Not only no paparazzi, no werewolves.

6.  And, hey, Rob, if you’re enjoying the peace and quiet, you can  volunteer for a three-month trial.  (They may even let Kristen serve too!)

For more Rob, Kristen, Robsten, Twilight,  and other silliness of many descriptions,  check out other posts  from my homepage –

Also, if interested in children’s books, check out 1 Mississippi, by Karin Gustafson, at link on homepage, or on Amazon.

What’s Up With Robert Pattinson? (Unspared.)

October 6, 2009

And now, what you all have been waiting for!   An update on what has been happening to Robert Pattinson.

It feels like ages since I’ve written about dear old (err…young) Rob.  But that doesn’t mean I haven’t been watching.   At least occasionally.   (I’m sorry, Rob.   I do try not to look at the paparazzi photos.  Much.)

So what’s Rob been doing?   According to the (literally)  hundreds of internet articles and posts published weekly:

1.  Filming the new Twilight movie, Eclipse, sometimes with Kristen Stewart, his character’s fiance.   This has led the tabloids to proclaim, “Rob Proposes to Kristen On Set!”

2.  Eating dinner, sometimes with Kristen Stewart.   (Even when they eat with six other people, Rob and Kristen “share dinner.”)

3.  Going back to his hotel, which is apparently the same hotel in which Kristen stays.  (You can guess what the tabloids say about that.)

4.  Channeling James Dean on a magazine cover.   Also trying to snatch the role of Prince Harry in a new movie “The Spare”, apparently from Rupert Grint (who is Ron Weasly in the Harry Potter movies).    I had not previously noticed an overlap between James Dean, Prince Harry, and Ron Weasly, but the tabloids (using Rob) manage to close that gap.

Oddly, no headline mentions that Rob already was “the spare” as  Cedric Diggory in the 4th Harry Potter movie.  (So Rob already has experience!)

5.  Throwing darts at pictures of himself.  This is one of the many stories based on an account from an “insider.”

6.   Failing to measure up to Tim Gunn’s standards for neat attire, though definitely measuring up to Tim Gunn’s standards for good looks.   (Aw.)

7.  Serving (unwittingly) as the subject of a documentary (“Robsessed”) which purports to “access all areas” of his life, but which, according to MTV, won’t be worth the $20 price tag.

8.  Serving (unwittingly) as the subject of an MTV  “Rob-O-Lantern” contest in which pumpkins are to be carved in his likeness.  (This, in MTV’s eyes, is a more satisfying activity for the Rob-crazy than watching “Robsessed”.)  The prize for the best-carved Rob-O-Lantern, believe it or not, is a chance to write your very own blog post about Robert Pattinson!   (!!!)

9.  Giving an interview in which he and Kristen Stewart confess to their “real-life romance.”   (The interview hasn’t been published yet, but an “insider” tells all.)

10.  Giving an interview in which he and Kristen Stewart fail to confess to their “real-life romance.”   (The interview hasn’t been published yet, but an “insider” tells all.)

11.  Tweeting his one and only tweet in honor of the attainment by his Twilight “father,” Peter Facinalli,  of  1 million followers on Twitter.  (What I’m wondering is how many of these followers read the Twilight father’s tweets primarily to hear about Rob!  And, who was that “insider?”)

12.  Giving an interview (which was published) in which he talks of trying to avoid places where he can be seen by paparazzi and curious people.  (Who can blame him?)

13.  Handling all the hoopla with (what looks like) a fair amount of grace (and also, possibly, darts.)

For more about RPatz, see my other posts on him, especially ten reasons why my feelings for Robert Pattinson must be strictly maternal:…ictly-maternal/

To Robert Pattinson Re Leaving New York and Fast Sporty Cars

August 7, 2009

Dear Rob,

It’s so boring here in New York now you’ve gone.

As an admirer whose feelings are strictly maternal (check out July post, why my feelings for Robert Pattinson must be strictly maternal), a part of me is happy for you.  Those paparazzi were such thugs.  The endless click of their cameras on all the youtube videos was like the sound of huge skittering cockroaches.  Their voices, calling out your name, sometimes lewd questions too, were crude, thick, loutish.  I got such satisfaction out of absolutely hating them on your behalf.

And I did feel truly sorry for you.  Seriously.  Maternally.  Which, I have to confess, was a great way to use up my downtime.

Besides all the photos.  Dozens of them every single day.  You in Washington Square, out on Long Island, Brooklyn, Central Park.  And though I think it’s more a tribute to your features than the talent of those bloodsucking (oops! Sorry!) paparazzi, an amazingly large number of them were pretty charming shots.

But now you’ve gone back to LA and the paparazzi just don’t seem to have the same access.  I guess that’s because it’s a place where you don’t walk or take cabs, but drive everywhere in fast, sporty cars.

Speaking of fast, sporty cars, you seem to have gotten yourself a new one. You apparently lost your old car (which I imagined as used and agreeably beaten up) because, in the chaos of your new fame, you forgot where you had parked it.  (This made me feel doubly maternal towards you–a misplaced car almost automatically raises maternal feelings of some kind.)

I have to confess, though, that there is something that bothers me about LA (besides the fast, sporty cars).  Maybe it’s the conspicuous wealth.  Or the ability to hide wealth.  Or the fact that wealth in LA can be conspicuous and hidden at once.  Meaning that people can both flaunt what they’ve got and also live in an enclave.

New York City certainly has its share of very wealthy people.  But here, at least, the rich and the poor have to walk the same sidewalks, and, in your case, get mobbed by the same crowds.  (Only yours are usually young female crowds.)

Maybe the saddest thing for me about knowing that you’re driving around LA in a fast, sporty car, is that it somehow destroys my already feeble fantasy that I could somehow, someday, write a book that you would be interested in, and somehow, someday, get you the manuscript, and somehow, someday, convince you to be in the movie based on that manuscript.

Yes, I know it was very silly.  People who know my work will point out that you don’t look anything like an elephant.  Still while you were here, walking behind several supposedly lax security guards, there seemed to be always the chance.

To see my counting book for children and elephants, check out the link for 1 Mississippi.

Five Dangers of Being Purposeful

July 27, 2009
  1. You find yourself balancing on one leg (the weaker one) while waiting for the train.  You are hoping to improve your balance, strengthen your ankle, tighten the musculature on that leg.  You experiment with the raised leg touching your body, then not touching your body, then held a bit in front of your body, then to the side and to the back.  You carefully do not meet the glance of other riders but focus on a fixed point (a stain on a wall).  You vow to do this every time you wait for a train.
  2. You become very impatient with those (a husband) who need more sleep than you.  If he (the husband) complains that the two of you went to bed at 1 a.m. and it is now just 6:30, you tell him that the only way he’ll get to bed at a reasonable hour is to get up earlier.  Then, determined to be sympathetic (it’s part of being a “nice” person), you tell him, fine, go back to sleep, but you continue to talk to him the whole time you are drinking your bed tea.
  3. When you get bored at the office, you check the stock market, telling yourself that this is somehow puts you in sync with the world of commerce, though it only leaves you depressed and confused, both about the stocks you’ve bought and the stocks you did not buy, the stocks you’ve sold and the ones you did not sell.   
  4. Depressed and confused, you begin, in your breaks from work, to check up on Robert Pattinson instead of stocks.  You justify this on the grounds that you are planning to write a novel based on how the paparazzi are harassing him.  This gives you license to go to all the paparazzi websites, calling it “research”. 
  5. You increasingly talk on the phone when you walk or stare down into your blackberry.  You tell yourself that this is multi-tasking, killing two birds with one stone.  You try not to think about the fact that while you are talking or looking at your blackberry, you do not see either birds or stones.