Posted tagged ‘manicddaily’

Odd Shoe

March 26, 2013

20121127-082024.jpg

Odd Shoe

And then there is the loneness of the odd shoe atilt
in the closet; a singleton,
it can’t even manage “akimbo.”
Sloped sides speak
of particular toes; they stood, stepped, sweat,
swanked, sidled, made
their mark.  But where now
is my fellow? the shoe pleads (whether
or not tongued, pumping dust
for some clear lead.)

And you, whose soul is also scuffed
but whole, insist that the shoe
still fits, insist on
wearing it, though
you limp, clump clump, even with
the trial, though even that you fear
may hear.

******************************************

Draft draft poem for dVerse Poets Pub Open Link Night hosted by Tony Maude.  Wanted to join in the fun.  You should too.  (Sorry if you’ve seen drawing before.) 

New York City – How Thoughtful

March 25, 2013

TT

As many of you know, I am soon moving from New York City .  I have worried I will miss it.  Just yesterday, I was feeling especially forlorn, after dinner with a wonderful friend.

But, oh, what a thoughtful City she is.

I trudged down the steps of the subway station at 59th Street, Columbus Circle.

It is a cold, grey station;  last night, there were flaps of yellow tapes blocking off various lines–weekend construction.

The remaining lines all basically parallel each other.  Still, their platforms are at a criss-cross in that station.  If you are a train perfectionist–make that an impatient idiot–you stand at a stairwell in the vague middle of everything  so that when you hear a rumble, you can hightail it down (or up) to dash through some set of grey smeared doors just before they close.

This is a rather dangerous game: you may end up missing both the train you are running towards as well as the one you were originally waiting for.  Still, to a true New Yorker, anything is better than patience.  (In short,  I stood on the stairwell with several other toe-tappers.)

Then came the Number 1.  Fine.  As I dashed/slipped inside, I noticed (vaguely) the conductor making some convoluted announcement about how this train would only go as far as 14th Street–normally, it goes all the way to the bottom of the Island, where I live–and that we should change at 42nd.

The 1 is a local, meaning that the trip to 42nd was slow; stops every few blocks.   The conductor gabbled on about changing, and as we began to pull into 42nd Street, there was, amazingly, a 2 Express also pulling in across the platform.

Wow!   Most of the train stood up.  Most of the train, in fact, leaned towards the glass doors, ready to run.  (We know from experience that we’ll never make it anywhere if we just walk calmly. )

And then, although our train stopped for a palpable instant or more, it suddenly began to lurch again, to stumble further and further into the station.

Shit, the main next to me (pale, unshaven,) cursed.  The other train’s doors were open now.

As our train stopped (finally), sighed (leisurely),–the doors still not open–the doors of the train across slid closed.

The man was really cursing as our conductor began to  explain that this train/ our train would now be making express stops only to 14th Street, and that if anyone wanted any local stops, they should transfer to the 2  (the express) across the platform.  (Of course, the 2  across the platform had already closed its doors.)

At last, ours opened.  People projectiled out.

But it was too late.  (Yes, the 2 just sat there a minute more.  No, it did not open its doors.)

I for one went back to my seat.  If we were going express anyway, we could probably catch up with the 2, I thought.
Except that we sat there until a couple of other 2s went by.

Fine.  Except  when we got to 14th Street, I stepped out to a platform occupied by a sizeable rat. (My car had ended up next to the garbage.)

I jumped back into the train, nearly knocking into the couple behind.

“There’s a rat,” I said breathlessly, and then, with amazing presence of mind, “you go first.”

Thanks God, the Express (running now on the Local track) was also in the station.   The couple, determined, scurried around the rat pillars and into it, with me glomming just behind. .

As I sat down on the new train,I wanted to tell everyone around me about the rat, but they were all tuning out (into iPods or studied disinterest), so I made myself hold in all the excitement.   Only now through the end doors of the car, came a scrawny and somehow flattened middle=aged  woman in a short leopard coat over jeans that showed her to be so knock-kneed that her shins looked like the prongs of a dowser’s fork.

I winced before she even started singing.  She did not have a tuneful voice; the song, moreover, revolved around the line “they can’t take away my dignity.”   (I could not help thinking that she herself was giving that away with two hands.  I knew that was unkind and also dug into my purse for some money.)

And then, at last, my stop.  I stepped gingerly onto the platform that held no rat but a splat of fresh vomit.

New York.

I did not know whether to say please (as in stop) or thank you (for letting me go.)

Hey George!

March 24, 2013

20130324-012428.jpg

Hey, George.

Hey, George. Sorry to bother you in your bath, I mean…errrr
studio.
But it’s ten years now, officially, and tens
of thousands of lives….deaths, and
ruin and bankruptcy and–

What? Can I fix that mirror?
How’s that?
And the soap?
Don’t worry, I’ll shut my eyes (stretching one hand
into the stall)–

Which is what
you did too, hey Buddy?

Okay, sorry.
Sure, you’re a good guy.
You love kids, dogs; Barney as gosh damn cute
as they come, and Laura’s
been a real trooper.

Speaking of which, 4,486.
And the wounded, well, tons more, but those Army docs
have got so gosh darn great they can put just about anyone back together.
Sort of.

And you’re right–Dick was a real dick,
and Donald–forget about it–
and then there was your Daddy and goddamn
Saddam, and what were you supposed to do, and I
can bet you sure did pray–

What? The soap again. No?
the paintbrush?

Okay, fine, I’ll get it.. But this time,
I will not shut my eyes.

*******************************************
Sorry to raise old wounds with this draft poem (of sorts) but it’s the tenth anniversary of the beginning of the war in Iraq this month, and this conversation was all I could come of up with for the dVerse Poets Pub prompt by the wonderful Claudia Schoenfeld re imaginary conversations with the famous or celebrated. I think Claudia was pushing for imaginary conversations with the dead, but there are more than enough dead to go with this conversation.

The references to studio and painting refer to pictures of paintings by George W. Bush that recently came out on the Internet– two are self-portraits painted of him in the bath, one with his face reflected in a small convex mirror. (And absolutely no offense meant here towards Laura Bush whom I genuinely admire, especially for her advocacy re libraries and literacy.)

For those who haven’t seen, here’s a link that shows two Bush’s self-portraits painted in the bath – one of just feet and legs, the other in a shower apparently.

Leaving NYC Soon (Worried)

March 23, 2013

20130319-093234.jpg

I am planning to move from New York City in less than a week.  I will still be in and out of the City for work, etc., but I will no longer “maintain an abode” here, as they say in New York City income tax lingo.

I first moved to the City almost thirty-five years ago.  A cheap apartment had become available in my then boyfriend’s building.  (It is amazing how many life decisions are made in New York City based on real estate.)

We only heard about the apartment by chance–we were driving around Idaho when my boyfriend happened to call his super about some mail and found that a fire had burned out a tenant the night before.  (I don’t think the tenant had died, but honestly, I do not remember.  The only thing we focused on at the time was that the apartment was rent-stabilized and that we had better rush.)

Rent-stabilized, at that time anyway, meant cheap, i.e. affordable.

We hopped into my boyfriend’s van and hardly stopped to change drivers.  (The good thing about a van and out West was that two people could wiggle in and out of the driver’s seat with one foot maintaining, more or less, constant pressure on the gas.)

We got back to downtown NYC in fewer hours than should be legal, sweaty, window-blown and reeling from the sudden descent of Eastern skies –all that lowdown leafiness (much less the dinge of Manhattan), and, after delicately slipping a suitable reward to the super (a palm’s wad of crisp twenties), rejoiced.  (Which meant, got some really terrific pizza.)  (There is no pizza like true New York pizza.)

Of course, I couldn’t yet move in–smoke damage–but the apartment–a fifth floor walk-up with the bath tub next to the fridge (i.e. in the kitchen on concrete blocks)–was mine.

And so it went, through thick and thin, leafyness and damage, wads and wads (and wads) of twenties (and larger denominations), until, I realize, I have been here for most of my life.   Not, thankfully, in that apartment.  (Well, maybe I’m not so thankful.  It  really was cheap.)

I am not someone who grew up wanting to live here.  I certainly would not have come in the absence of that apartment (and okay, that boyfriend.)

But people are a bit like plants (or maybe just potatoes) – they are plopped some place and before they know it, they have put down roots, sent forth tendrils.  They entangle with that fence just to the side,  knot in the scraped brickface to the back,  fix themselves into whatever specks of earth (o.k. concrete) their feet find.  There’s inertia, but also–friends, jobs, family, and of course, familiarity — that family feeling we develop for a place, the comfort in our normal routes (even if rushed), the quiet calm that takes over us when our normal seat on the train or in our favorite restaurant is free, and that proud awe, almost a sense of ownership, we assume for wonders we come to know well–the entrances of museums, concert halls, the views down certain avenues or way up over our heads.

I am happy about the move and the fact is that I will still be in the City a great deal.    And yet, another part of me worries – oh yes- that still something may get left behind here, something I don’t know how to pack.

(PS – the above photo was taken a few days ago from Battery Park City, which is where I currently live, and which is absolutely nothing like my original neighborhood in NYC.  BPC is nice in its way too–beautiful–but definitely is lacking in some of the grit and character of that old neighborhood which was at the edge of Little Italy and Chinatown.  More on all that another time, if anyone is interested.)

Dream Lids (Friday Flash 55)

March 22, 2013

Dream Lids

We baled out
into a swamp–bad idea, turtle
wading onto my head,
snapper, its creased leg eye-dangling khaki,
mottled shell
a dangerous helmet. You turned
to help.  “Don’t use the oar,”
I pleaded at your hoist, but seeing aim
in your eyes, shut mine,
dream lids able to shield
as needed.

****************************************

Here’s a re-write of an older poem whittled down to 55 vine-tangled words for the G-Man.  Let him know.  

A week of a lot of work at work.  Agh.  Have a great weekend. 

Bear

March 21, 2013

20110823-113955.jpg

Bear

We were like two bears in the forest, destined
never to meet, only we did meet
and we weren’t furry or fat–
well, maybe a little love-handled,
except that we hadn’t been love-handled
so that when you touched me–you do have pale soft
hairs on the tops of your fingers–I shivered–
just like one of those bears stepping out
from under a waterfall or ducking down
to catch a fish, droplets arcing in finned
sparkle around my head–instead, we stood
in an abandoned hall, wooden closets
built into the walls, and only my nostrils moved, flaring a bit
with the dust; your hands as warm as a bear’s
certainly, only his would be pawed, and I
don’t know if bears put paws around each other
when they come out in early Spring, but when we met
in that wood hall, we barely paused in what was
warm, moist, musked, emergent
if you know what I mean–as if we’d each been stuck
in some dim den, as if we’d each
been hibernating, only we’d been awake
in our dens, lying so
unbearably alone and
sleepless.

Until, that is, we met,
like two bared, destined,
in a forest—wait, did I get
that right?

Yes.

***************************

A blogging buddy cheered me up the other night by sending me a list of some very silly analogies written by High School students.  That thought let me to this poem which I am posting for the With Real Toads prompt by Susan re writing with an extended simile.  I am not sure that this qualifies but it was fun.  

Pea

March 19, 2013

l20130320-120115.jpg

 What I tell myself

To find peace, I should become
like a pea (post-pod), wholly
self-contained (if plain), without hand
to go unheld, back
to hold too much.

Except, even footless,
I’d roll to some dim chink where
I’d dry, wrinkle, winkle out
a sprout–starting out somehow
again (though tendrilled),
clinging to anything
once more, blossoms
in search of busy.

So maybe best to leave be, not become like
pea–but let snagged jags sprout, as they do,
their ragged growths of
pain, astonishment, wrinkles—hands stretching
from each chink,
back crumpling
with stumble, feet finding pace
each roll, each
start-again.

20130320-120155.jpg

*********************

Kind of an odd draft poem for dVerse Poets Open Link Night.  I don’t know what the poem’s about;  I do like peas. (I don’t eat them with a knife.) 

After the Thaw

March 17, 2013

20130317-074948.jpg

Not meaning to be grim– though I spent all day working on things for my job, which does make me feel a bit grim on a Sunday night–but came across this in a nearby field, and thought, well, seize the day. And photo.

Green

March 16, 2013

20130316-030652.jpg

Green

I.

She viewed herself as blue,
in need of rescue, which may have been
why she saw the guy, older, as someone able
to treat her nice.
But she was green truly,
green as a moon-new lawn, green as damp
dancible grass that imprints with lightest
footstep, so that when he said, huskily, once
there was no way out, that he wanted to hurt her,
she tended, later, to tread hard
on that same pain, self-blame tracking it everywhere.

II.

He (a very different he, a young-man-he, soldier, from
a separate story), saw himself as
brown, tanned, taut-tendonned,
only he was green, green
as a sapling–stripped, admittedly,
and sharpened to pointed stick–but still a boy beneath
the bark, no cudgel–and when
blood spread red over every kind of viewfinder, including
his bared eyes,
he felt both the gouge and the puniness
of the stick that they had made of him, and there
was no wood where he might escape, nor
water either, not even
the vaulted sky.

III.

They felt grayed, faded (a different
they, yet another
story) –leathery–and were amazed
how the pain of things that had
no physical weight–mere words–could penetrate–as if
their many coats of wool, silk, cotton, years,
scar tissue, were butter melted by anything
that might be mouthed.

But for all the pallor, they were still green
inside, and when they held each other,
wept, they felt the stir of that
that will grow, seek light, of that
that also held them.

************************

I am calling the above a draft poem, because I just wrote it and have edited since posting and I feel like it could probably be cut and the first part (especially) fixed in some way. But I am posting it for dVerse Poets Pub’s Poetics prompt on “It’s Not Easy To Be Green” – which I am hosting. Please do check out dVerse and, if inclined, post a poem!

Also, if you have even more time, please do check out my books: Children’s counting book 1 Mississippi -for lovers of rivers, light and pachyderms. Or, if you in the mood for something older, check out Going on Somewhere, poetry, and Nose Dive, escapist but very fun fluff.

One World Trade (Looking Tall)

March 15, 2013

20130315-080146.jpg

A few days ago, I posted a picture taken of One World Trade Center, the replacement for the old World Trade Towers, taken at night in fog and looking very foreshortened. I thought people might find it interesting to see the building from a different perspective which shows it to be really very tall. (This picture was taken last night.) It will be 104 stories when completed and the tallest building in the Western Hemisphere. For a sense of perspective – the building on the far left side — the World Financial Center–is over 40 stories.