Lake

20130312-083240.jpg

Lake

Mist rises like fish jumping, like
heart thumping, like firs
sighing, like memory
crying, like
hope dying–not needed-not even
considered–like dawn
breaking, like love
making, like water curling in
upon its fall, like head on lap on
lips on lips on
hips, like you and me and fingers
fingering, a brush against a nipple,
or being brushed against,
like something somewhere sure
of joy, like
the thing itself.

***********************************

A revision of a poem from my book,  GOING ON SOMEWHERE, by Karin Gustafson, illustrated by Diana Barco (though the photograph above is mine and is actually of the Hudson River).  Posted for DVerse Poets Pub Open Link Night, hosted by the wonderful Claudia Schoenfeld.

Explore posts in the same categories: poetry, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , ,

You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.

35 Comments on “Lake”

  1. Pamela Says:

    Karin, that is what true love is like. It is so hard to explain. I enjoyed the repetition of “like”, it works well in this.

    Pamela

  2. hedgewitch Says:

    Lots of sharp similes and as pamela says, the repetition is just right, structurally and to the ear–and a lovely love poem as well that blends inner and outer worlds. The pic is gorgeous.

    • ManicDdaily Says:

      Thanks. Hope all is well. The picture was taken through a train window! But worked out. It’s an older poem as kind of pressed but it was nice to revisit.


  3. I love how the words weave, in and out through the different aspects of falling in love… a tapestry of descriptions that at times leave a delightful shiver, like the wind upon water.

  4. Mary Says:

    Just beautiful. There is so much more than a ‘lake’ present in this poem. Love the sensuality.

  5. PÖ3TIC Says:

    I really love the tempo to this poem, makes me think it would be a good spoken word verse! Excellent work.

    • ManicDdaily Says:

      Thanks- I had thought of making a reading but didn’t have time, but would like to try – thanks for the encouragement. k.

      • PÖ3TIC Says:

        Oh sure, anytime! I have seen a few people on here do the spoken word either as a video or audio and I have really enjoyed them. Hearing the author read the lines in the intended meter and tempo also enhances a poem I think.

  6. brian miller Says:

    like lips on lips on hips…oh my…smiles…like all your likes k…makes for a very fun piece….enjoyable on the ear to read….

  7. Bodhirose Says:

    I like how it starts out with the many connections to the lake’s mist then it morphs into lovemaking…becoming joy. Sweet.


  8. enjoyed the flow of this and repetition… I loved the sound of like and lake… = )


  9. Gorgeous. This should win some sort of award for simile perfection/abundance! I thought to pick out my favorite, but couldn’t decide!


  10. Karin–so glad to get back to reading your work….I will echo Victoria above, I enjoyed the ‘simile perfection/abundance’. Looking at a lake and thinking about making love. You’re amazing.


  11. The first thing that strikes me is the rapid beat and then with the subject matter flowering, as it does, the beat really makes sense and totally enhances the whole 😉

  12. claudia Says:

    hmmmm nice… the lake as a pic for love making…fits just perfectly..

  13. Jamie Dedes Says:

    Altogether lovely … I like the pacing of it … and indeed, love is like that. Bravo!

  14. Tony Says:

    Nothing to add to what has already been said, so I’ll just say how much I enjouyed reading this Karin.

  15. kkkkaty Says:

    The easy beat and word flow and sensuality is superb here, k….enjoyed this a lot 😉


  16. Sensual and evocative. I love the imagery, economy of language and internal rhyme here. Great write.

  17. aka_andrea Says:

    beautifully rythmic, so easy to get caught up in the ride!

  18. David King Says:

    Very sensuous and a fitting interpretation of a beautiful scene. I totaly enjoyed the crafting of the words..

  19. ninotaziz Says:

    Now, that’s a poem! So very lovely, Karin. Thank you for sharing a poem from your book.


  20. Very beautiful poetry Karin. I love it 🙂

  21. dragyonfly Says:

    Very lovely piece, with a very sensual and dreamlike quality, and the simile abundance mentioned before is well suited for it…I like “liking” !!!

  22. Sabio Lantz Says:

    I think your poem can be diagnosed as hypermetaphoria. Prognosis is bad — continual impractical ecstasy! 🙂

  23. suedawnim Says:

    i like lake/like


  24. really like this rolling rising of itself ; great ride!

    esp liked,

    “like head on lap on
    lips on lips on
    hips”

    but liked it all really 😉

  25. Mama Zen Says:

    This carries you along and leaves you breathless! Wow!


  26. Everything is the sensitivity of hues of sensations and sentiments ~wonderful k!


I'd love to hear from you!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


%d bloggers like this: