Lake
Lake
Mist rises like fish jumping, like
heart thumping, like firs
sighing, like memory
crying, like
hope dying–not needed-not even
considered–like dawn
breaking, like love
making, like water curling in
upon its fall, like head on lap on
lips on lips on
hips, like you and me and fingers
fingering, a brush against a nipple,
or being brushed against,
like something somewhere sure
of joy, like
the thing itself.
***********************************
A revision of a poem from my book, GOING ON SOMEWHERE, by Karin Gustafson, illustrated by Diana Barco (though the photograph above is mine and is actually of the Hudson River). Posted for DVerse Poets Pub Open Link Night, hosted by the wonderful Claudia Schoenfeld.
Explore posts in the same categories: poetry, UncategorizedTags: "Lake", Going on Somewhere by Karin Gustafson, lake love poem, Love Poem, manicddaily
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March 12, 2013 at 8:23 pm
Karin, that is what true love is like. It is so hard to explain. I enjoyed the repetition of “like”, it works well in this.
Pamela
March 12, 2013 at 8:44 pm
Lots of sharp similes and as pamela says, the repetition is just right, structurally and to the ear–and a lovely love poem as well that blends inner and outer worlds. The pic is gorgeous.
March 12, 2013 at 9:02 pm
Thanks. Hope all is well. The picture was taken through a train window! But worked out. It’s an older poem as kind of pressed but it was nice to revisit.
March 12, 2013 at 8:46 pm
I love how the words weave, in and out through the different aspects of falling in love… a tapestry of descriptions that at times leave a delightful shiver, like the wind upon water.
March 12, 2013 at 8:54 pm
Just beautiful. There is so much more than a ‘lake’ present in this poem. Love the sensuality.
March 12, 2013 at 9:17 pm
I really love the tempo to this poem, makes me think it would be a good spoken word verse! Excellent work.
March 12, 2013 at 9:48 pm
Thanks- I had thought of making a reading but didn’t have time, but would like to try – thanks for the encouragement. k.
March 12, 2013 at 9:53 pm
Oh sure, anytime! I have seen a few people on here do the spoken word either as a video or audio and I have really enjoyed them. Hearing the author read the lines in the intended meter and tempo also enhances a poem I think.
March 12, 2013 at 9:24 pm
like lips on lips on hips…oh my…smiles…like all your likes k…makes for a very fun piece….enjoyable on the ear to read….
March 12, 2013 at 9:27 pm
I like how it starts out with the many connections to the lake’s mist then it morphs into lovemaking…becoming joy. Sweet.
March 12, 2013 at 9:31 pm
enjoyed the flow of this and repetition… I loved the sound of like and lake… = )
March 12, 2013 at 9:33 pm
Gorgeous. This should win some sort of award for simile perfection/abundance! I thought to pick out my favorite, but couldn’t decide!
March 12, 2013 at 9:47 pm
Ha. Thanks so much, Victoria. Hope all is well. k.
March 12, 2013 at 11:07 pm
Karin–so glad to get back to reading your work….I will echo Victoria above, I enjoyed the ‘simile perfection/abundance’. Looking at a lake and thinking about making love. You’re amazing.
March 12, 2013 at 11:27 pm
The first thing that strikes me is the rapid beat and then with the subject matter flowering, as it does, the beat really makes sense and totally enhances the whole 😉
March 13, 2013 at 12:15 am
hmmmm nice… the lake as a pic for love making…fits just perfectly..
March 13, 2013 at 2:24 am
Altogether lovely … I like the pacing of it … and indeed, love is like that. Bravo!
March 13, 2013 at 7:27 am
Thanks so much, Jamie – I loved the well-chiseled face of true north. k.
March 13, 2013 at 8:02 am
Thank you!
March 13, 2013 at 4:13 am
Nothing to add to what has already been said, so I’ll just say how much I enjouyed reading this Karin.
March 13, 2013 at 4:45 am
The easy beat and word flow and sensuality is superb here, k….enjoyed this a lot 😉
March 13, 2013 at 5:12 am
Sensual and evocative. I love the imagery, economy of language and internal rhyme here. Great write.
March 13, 2013 at 6:31 am
beautifully rythmic, so easy to get caught up in the ride!
March 13, 2013 at 6:52 am
Very sensuous and a fitting interpretation of a beautiful scene. I totaly enjoyed the crafting of the words..
March 13, 2013 at 7:33 am
Now, that’s a poem! So very lovely, Karin. Thank you for sharing a poem from your book.
March 13, 2013 at 9:22 am
Very beautiful poetry Karin. I love it 🙂
March 13, 2013 at 11:02 am
Very lovely piece, with a very sensual and dreamlike quality, and the simile abundance mentioned before is well suited for it…I like “liking” !!!
March 13, 2013 at 12:31 pm
I think your poem can be diagnosed as hypermetaphoria. Prognosis is bad — continual impractical ecstasy! 🙂
March 13, 2013 at 1:03 pm
Ha. Unfortunately, though a recent re-write not a new poem. The practical world may have imposed its bitter cures by now. (Though I hope not.)
March 13, 2013 at 2:34 pm
i like lake/like
March 13, 2013 at 4:26 pm
really like this rolling rising of itself ; great ride!
esp liked,
“like head on lap on
lips on lips on
hips”
but liked it all really 😉
March 13, 2013 at 4:49 pm
Thanks so much, Felipe. k.
March 13, 2013 at 7:26 pm
This carries you along and leaves you breathless! Wow!
March 13, 2013 at 8:06 pm
Everything is the sensitivity of hues of sensations and sentiments ~wonderful k!
March 13, 2013 at 11:31 pm
Thanks so much, Deb. k.