Archive for the ‘poetry’ category

“All Too Many Multiple Tours”

June 9, 2012

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All Too Many Multiple Tours

Pentagon announces 154 suicides so
far in 2012, a number that “eclipses,
the Times writes, the
the number of deaths
in combat. I think leadenly
of “eclipse,” black shadow blotting
sun, and then of suicide, suicide as a
combat death–combat with self and all
else too. (Self
losing.)

Making a choice of sorts: but “it’s them
or us” doesn’t seem
to describe it, nor “kill or
be killed.”  Not even, “to be
or not to be.”

If you use something again and
again–take a horse–if you run it and run it and run
it, digging heels into flagging sides, knees into strained-
cord neck–and if it’s a well-trained horse–its eyes
will wilden, froth foam in laval persistence, hide soak, until
heart bursts, what’s broken
folds to ground, and you, who were so profligate with
your steed, we, who were so profligate, will be lucky to escape
with our own whole rider’s legs, our wastrel feet–

But still will not be able to blot out
ebon barrel to close-cropped head, pink
scabbard mouth, delineated
chest–the tunneled metal eclipsing
son/daughter, self, all
else.

Get them home.

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The above is a poem (still really a draft) posted for the dVerse Poets Pub Poetics prompt, “choice,” hosted by the wonderful Brian Miller.   I’m not sure why this topic came to mind.  Pretty sorrowful news.

“Juiced” – Belated Magpie

June 8, 2012


image by Klaus Enrique Gerdes
 
 

Differently Armed (In Hyderabad)

June 7, 2012

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Differently Armed  (In Hyderabad)

A cart of bangles glistens like fish scales (if fish schooled scorched
above splintered blood-red wood).

Spindly fingers, knuckles barely bumps, lift the lattice of burqa to better see the flicker of plastic gold against a day so hot it curves and shimmers too; the comparative fullness of forearms rimmed by green, maroon, and gold (gold gold), black sleeves, as full as acolyte’s, accordion at elbows.

Escaping blaze, I tuck my own much-too-bare arms into the torso of loose dress—if I’m going to get burned, let it be through armholes only–so that now, a person trapped in rectangle,  I stand face above sandwich-board, unfiligreed, unlimbed-

while opposite, armed as richly as mummified goddess, they hover (so solidly black) spangled by glint, hand mirror, each of us pretending

not to stare.

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I’m posting the above (slightly edited since first posted) for dVerse Poets Pub “Meet the Bar” challenge to write about an alien world/landscape, hosted by Charles Miller a/k/a Chazinator.

Doorbell Rings Some Time Very Late

June 7, 2012

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Doorbell Rings Some Time Very Late 

Fear upstarts–
quake awake shaking, bleared night silent

but for bell that should not be ringing,
dark but for lights that I’ve fallen 

asleep on, torn jagged– “Who’s there?”
my voice 
ragged
this side of door, which, shit, is not locked–
Fear tumble-rs through brain
paralyzed against making noticeable click

addresses

chain, a pretense
of metal, that shaking fingers slip

silently into slot.

I call back “No,”
taking hold now of true

lock as eye scope

smudges blurred guy blanking to greenish hall–

A mistake, all 
safe, still shaking–no,
there’s stillness
on skin itself,  the quiver
inner, as twist

in  chest/plexus

refuses to let go of 
fisted alarm, armed

against beating flow

of all other tisssued self,

scared stalwart.

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I’m back from brief blog break!  Not exactly rested – especially after being woken up in the middle of the night last night –but really missing my blogging buddies (especially all those great guys at dVerse.)  One lingering problem is, of course, that I’m not a poet!  If I am any kind of writer at all, it is of novels, but the kindness of the online poetry community is really hard to beat, and that kindess tends to inspire poetry even in prosaic types.

All that said, I am linking the above to Emily Wierenga’s Imperfect Prose.  Emily, another kind soul, has posted a poem of mine, “Thin Birthday,” on her other blog, Chasing Silhouettes, with a wonderful painting (by Emily.)  Check it out!

“Cautionary Tale” (Free or Trapped Villanelle?)

May 31, 2012

Cautionary Tale

“It’s hurting me,” she said in half belief
as her hair caught in his passing shirt cuff’s play.
He offered nothing else for her relief
except untangling fingers, smooth smile’s teeth
(his eyes flecked with intelligence and grey).

“It’s hurting me,” she said in half belief
about a life that had grown spare, deplete,
(and cast him as the knight to save the day.)
He offered nothing else if not relief–
opened doors ahead, used credit like a thief.

As he refused her pretended tries to pay,
“it’s hurting me,”  she said in half belief,
(but smiled inside at all that seemed in reach;)
her greater youth would certainly hold sway;
she offered nothing else for his relief.

Game over when he pinned her underneath.
His weight, his age, his wealth, would have their way.
“It’s hurting me,” she said in half belief.
(He offered nothing else for her relief.)

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The above is posted for dVerse Poets’ Pub’s “form for all” challenge from Samuel Peralta (a/k/a Semaphore) to write a “free verse poem” in a formal verse form.  Yes, yes, it’s a villanelle.  Yes, mainly what I’ve done is mix up the spacing a bit.  But maybe, perhaps, because it’s a bit of a morality tale, it’s just possible that the repeated lines read a bit more freely and ironically than in a standard villanelle?  Or, are they too caught/entrapped?

(Agh.)

“Short” Villanelle

May 29, 2012

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Short

I’m told that feelings hold a set place in the brain
like a house upon a lot, a grave a plot,
but mine short like broken circuits caught in rain,

guttering flashes pulling to the sane,
but not quite magnetized to well-formed thought.
I’m told that feelings hold a set space in the brain,

a location to be mapped just like a vein,
demarked as ‘happy,’ ‘fearful,’ ‘sad’—x marks the spot,
but mine short like broken circuits caught in rain,

misplacing light and darkness, wax and wane,
mistaking good for ill, full well for naught.
I’m told that feelings hold a set space in the brain,

then mine must be a jumbled tangled mane
where what should beam straight cross cramps into knot
and shorts like broken circuits caught in rain,

splintering all that’s whole, all would-be gain,
forcing what surely is into what is not;
I’m told that feelings hold a set space in the brain
but mine short like broken circuits caught in rain.

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Sorry – a very stressful time of late, combining with a day of storms, which brings me to post the above slightly depressed villanelle for dVerse Poets Pub Open Link Night, hosted by the extremely generous poet, Claudia Schoenfeld.  I urge you to check out the site.

 

Liquified Whitman – First Weekend of Summer and More

May 28, 2012

On Memorial Day Weekend

First outdoor pee of the season, infused
with Vitamin B (to ward off
bugs), blends with blades of deep yellow-green
 like
liquefied Whitman,  the
world lush at my feet as I feel, excitedly, that I just
can’t wait.

Later, I think
of the date–of those not far
away who bunch cut flowers in
cut glass to place in other fields of
soft, much-better-tended grass–and my forehead bristles with
thanks, insufficiency, those fields
of soft green grass.
I’m so sorry,
I want to tell them–all who carefully
position those
bouquets, and those who
lay beneath them, and all those too
who have no bouquets.  I’m so sorry
for all that you’ve missed–the glistening,
urgent, buzz of being, this summer, this
bright day. 

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Here is an old poem, much re-written and re-posted  for Memorial Day weekend, and especially for the dVerse Poetry prompt hosted by Victoria C. Slotto.  I hope it’s not too weird or disrespectful feeling.  Veterans, and the lost, have  a great place in my emotional landscape, but Memorial Day weekend also always meant for me the glorious beginning of summer and the freedom it brings (if you have private places to be outside.)   An odd mix.


“Carnie-val”

May 26, 2012

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Carnie-val

The victim of a freak
accident there, I don’t much care
for a fun fair, carnival–anywhere
with a ride that whirls and rockets
astride grease-black blur-blink sockets.  Things–
meaning me (parts of)–get caught in such
pockets, which do not
stay shut, and
in the midst of their whipped
whizz, the divide
between the wall-eyed
guy who, biceps slack-smudged, leans
against the gears
and the person who trusts that their
particular life will be all-good, all-safe, all-
sunlit,
rips away, victim
of a freak accident,
and I am morphed from sleek-
luck kid to human marked by strange
tight-ropey wounds that may be covered
by a wrap-around of hair or sleeve,
make-up or tattoo, but still,
it’s now just me and you, babe,
me and you.

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The above is my offering for dVerse Poets Pub Poetics prompt hosted by the wonderful Claudia Schoenfeld about fun fairs.   A strange poem, I know. I was, in fact, injured at such a place many years ago, so it’s a bit hard for me to look at them with a open mind!  But for all kinds of poems prompted by the subject, check out dVerse. 

And have a wonderful weekend. 

“On Closure When Children Have Been Lost” (Can’t get them out of my mind)

May 25, 2012

On Closure When Children Have Been Lost

It’s only when I see the block letters bruising
the front page: “Etan:
Choked, Bagged, Dumped” that I
realize how I’ve imagined Gestapo
cuddling their dogs; Hitler
as a vegetarian; those barren Argentine
generals who seemingly loved the
children whose actual parents they
disappeared–how my mind has tried, in
secret even from itself,
to imagine a person deranged, evil,
but somehow kindly to kids, stealing Etan and all those other
missing children,
and keeping them
brainwashed perhaps and eating
pasty foods by the crate – there’s such
a crowd–but
alive–

Even as another part of my brain
knows it doesn’t work like that (Elizabeth
Smart
), still it strives (those unkindly grey cellar years)
for a saving grace, silver
lining, guardian angel (but at least she’s still
living),
God; to find,
like Abraham, that suffering is but
a test in which a
passing grade is possible, complete with gold
stars and one’s child
back.

Not random pain, not unredeemed
evil.
Not pain compounded by the guilt and fear that it
was not me
this time, not
mine, oh please,
not ever.

Please —
For even as guardian angel
turns gargoyle stone, the brain, roiling, holds
to what it can, prays
on–now that the boy is okay wherever he is,
in whatever realm, form, or formlessness.

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Sorry to followers of this blog, to be so grim.  It is hard here in New York (especially if, like me, you have lived downtown for many years) to not be thinking of the recent developments in the Etan Patz case, sending prayers to Etan’s parents.

“Updates on Etan Patz” (Streaming Prose Poem)

May 24, 2012

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Updates on Etan Patz

All day I return to it – the stark print underlined in red like a stripped throat;
the picture, if I click–the face that seems all hair, that soft fine down
that so often heads young kids, thin even as mop, like knob of joint on child bone–

Throat catches in stairwell seen through glass, a square in thick paint door, how I remember them in Soho, all those old factories huge as elephants, stairs wrinkled/stretched/collapsed like so many trunks; no, throats; outlined in black-cracked red the squares of linoleum, glass gridded as a crossword, only mute, ruffs of papers stuffed around the knobs, calligraphy like throats–what’s black and white and re(a)d all over?  Not newspaper, but Chinese menus–

Only online today, it’s underlined in red with slight-toothed grin, cheeks to be grown into, the same photo so many years we saw on the blue/red torso of milk, only then the black/white/grey of blow-up, Etan Patz, your sweet face blurred still hard to swallow–

later, my own–don’t you ever –the baker’s near-bare shelves mid-afternoons, Italian breadcrumbs a host of Hansels–

Even speak – don’t you ever-

Making sure–again, again–well, if you have to speak, yes, you can be polite, but–the Portuguese greengrocer stubbled–but you get nervous you go into–grouch if you touched a grape but would help I hope/think/pray–

Joe’s pizza, black shined hair, all thumbs still on the young ones–

Not car, not alley, not down stairs–scream if you have to

Rocco’s waitresses–their tight breasts squeezed in uniforms like nurses administering cannoli–they would help you, sure–with beveled glass–

He strangled Etan, the man says now, and put him–

he strangled him, he says–

if you get scared

and put him

don’t you ever

in a box.

You just go into

A carton on the counter next to small gnome fridge–

his black and white face greyed
as droplets–no A/C on fifth floor walk-up–slide
like tears down its red-waxed sides–

I click again, again; throat hurts.

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This draft poem written this evening for dVerse Poets Pub “Meeting the Bar” prompt on “stream of consciousness” writing, hosted by the wonderful Victoria C. Slotto.  For those who get by email, I’ve changed the end since posting. 

A part of me really hesitates to post anything about Etan Patz.  I feel such sorrow for his family;  I would hate to add to their pain in any way or to seem to be voyeuristic or opportunistic.  I really hope that my sympathy comes through and that they may feel some sense of support in so many people caring for them and Etan.  (I also hope that the media leave them alone.)