“Carnie-val”

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Carnie-val

The victim of a freak
accident there, I don’t much care
for a fun fair, carnival–anywhere
with a ride that whirls and rockets
astride grease-black blur-blink sockets.  Things–
meaning me (parts of)–get caught in such
pockets, which do not
stay shut, and
in the midst of their whipped
whizz, the divide
between the wall-eyed
guy who, biceps slack-smudged, leans
against the gears
and the person who trusts that their
particular life will be all-good, all-safe, all-
sunlit,
rips away, victim
of a freak accident,
and I am morphed from sleek-
luck kid to human marked by strange
tight-ropey wounds that may be covered
by a wrap-around of hair or sleeve,
make-up or tattoo, but still,
it’s now just me and you, babe,
me and you.

*****************************************

The above is my offering for dVerse Poets Pub Poetics prompt hosted by the wonderful Claudia Schoenfeld about fun fairs.   A strange poem, I know. I was, in fact, injured at such a place many years ago, so it’s a bit hard for me to look at them with a open mind!  But for all kinds of poems prompted by the subject, check out dVerse. 

And have a wonderful weekend. 

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23 Comments on ““Carnie-val””

  1. zongrik Says:

    i like how you look at the aspect of us trusting these people with our lives when they are so weird, and we would probably find them unreliable and scary in general

  2. Shawna Says:

    I really like this: “Things–
    meaning me (parts of)–get caught in such
    pockets”

  3. hobgoblin2011 Says:

    Very nicely done. I absolutely adore your use of hyphenation, for me personally, this is such a superb example for myself, as I always wonder why I do so much hyphenation and never really know the answer as to why I should stop, this here is perfect example of what can be done with hyphens when used properly and artistically. Great job. Thanks

  4. gardenlilie Says:

    Excellent take, yes some freak accidents, some tragic like the shark bites I suppose. You write well, I like the opener Carnie Val.

  5. suej Says:

    Great write, a sense of manic, and some good words here, I liked “grease-black blur-blink sockets” and “in the midst of their whipped whizz”

  6. claudia Says:

    see…this is my issue..trust…may sound a bit dramatic but on such rides you entrust your life to people you don’t know..but then…we do it all the time anyway and i have no problems to board an airplane for example… sorry you got injured k. – i liked your take on the prompt and just loved…a ride that whirls and rockets
    astride grease-black blur-blink sockets…very cool..

  7. David King Says:

    This had me caught between wanting to linger to savour your way with words and wanting to let the rhythm carry me on regardless. I did the former, then I did the latter. Both fantastic.


  8. You made me recall a freak accident where some kids were actually injured in the fair rides but not my son though. It was a sober wake up call to the dangers of carnival rides and thoughtless care ~ Thanks for sharing your lovely poem ~

  9. brian miller Says:

    oh my…i am sorry k…i am glad you still played and you know i appreciate you adding your apprehension…as with anything there is risk and those accident with mar our image of most anything…nice descriptions k…

  10. janehewey Says:

    i can see it, clearly. we often hear of the freak accidents but you’ve brought it into the realm of real. i’m sorry this happened to you. “biceps slack-smudged” and “rips away, victim” make it all smarmy mixed with dangerous. ~jane


  11. I caan understand your attitude. Excellent write though. I feel the tension in the words. Having seen the machines being assembled, it is a wonder there aren’t more accidents.

  12. shanyns Says:

    I love the darkness of this and the mistrust too…sorry you were injured but I am so glad you have written this piece for us.

    • ManicDdaily Says:

      Thanks – you know thinking today of things I could add or change as I’m not sure the main idea – “there, but for the grace of God,” kind of thing comes out. Oh well! Thanks much. k.


  13. I love this one, not being a huge fan of Carnivals and other crowd-ridden venues myself. You really get into the grit of it, Karin.


  14. I was going to ask if it was you who got injured, I hope it wasn’t too serious.

    It is interesting how based on our experiences places can have very different meanings to us.

    You captured the emotion well.


  15. pretty powerful stuff here


  16. An alternative take and a unique experience turned into poetry, lovely.

  17. vivinfrance Says:

    I’m with you all the way: such rides are not for me. Your poem is an honest take on the carnival myth.

  18. sonofwalt Says:

    Excellent poem, though I am sorry about the experience you had to have to inspire it. I was caught by the music of the sounds, the rhymes within and between lines, the assonance and consonance and alliteration! Thrilling to see a fellow poet who enjoys playing with these language sounds. And you do it so well, as the sounds mirror the sense mood of the sockets and pockets that do not stay shut.


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