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Wassily Kandinsky, The Garden of Love (Improvisation No. 27), Alfred Stieglitz Collection, The Metropolitan Museum, New York

This weekend, possibly my 1500th weekend in New York City, I asked myself once again whether I should keep living here.  Here’s a bit of the analysis:

Why You Might Leave

1.  The last play you saw (on Broadway or Off) was The Fantasticks.  (Not in revival.)

2.  About 60% of the apartment that you spend about 60% of your disposable income upon is used for storage.

3.  Repeat, in case some of that last bit was unclear:  you spend about (at least) 60% of your disposable income on said apartment.

4.  One of the best things about that income-expending apartment is that it is located in a part of New York City that hardly feels like New York City.

5.  More importantly, you love Kandinsky.  Boy, do you love Kandinsky.  What, the Kandinsky show closed already?  After only 4 months!?

6.  You pride yourself on knowing such esoteric things as the location of the very best public bathrooms in downtown Manhattan.  (The fifth floor of the Surrogate’s Court building.  The cubicle doors are made of real wood with real carved patterns.)

7.   No, you didn’t get to the William Blake show at the Morgan either.  Is it still open?  (You’re too tired earning disposable income for that apartment that you store your stuff in to check.)

8.  The stress of the City has turned you into a vampire junkie. (There’s something about sucked-out lifeblood that really speaks to you.)    Let’s just say that the last movie you went to was not an art film.

Why Stay

1. The last time you drove a car was almost a year ago.  You don’t miss the experience.

2.   You never really get tired of the Kandinskys that are part of the permanent collections of the Met, Modern and Guggenheim.

3.   The Met also has some good Blakes.

4.  The ladies’ room in the Surrogate’s Court building (fifth floor) really is extremely nice.

5. Your apartment has great closets (at least for the City.)

6.   And is below market rates.  Meaning that there are people paying even more for even less. (Question:  does that truly make you feel better?  Answer:  yes.)

7. Besides that, there’s a gym in your building where, every evening, you can read vampire novels while working out on the elliptical machine.  Yes, they are vampire novels, but hey! you’re working out.

8.  More importantly, said apartment is located in a part of New York City that doesn’t feel like New York City, but is in fact a part of  New York City.

9. Where you can walk nearly anywhere.

10.  Even to permanently-hanging Kandinskys.

11.  Aaah.