Posted tagged ‘Christina Martin pic’

First Fail

October 18, 2015

(photo from AMNH by Christina Martin)

First Fail (Each Time)

If you extend the “i”,
which one tends to do under these circumstances,
you end up with “fall”,
which is what it feels like–
as if you were paraded naked, made
to feel shame,
and everything of you that came before, that seemed
to be good,
was a should-charade,
while everything about that spot you occupied
like a trophy on a high shelf–though it was a cheap trophy,
a dusty shelf–
was paradisal–and, oh,
though you are wiser now, the road not taken
has been taken,
and the road taken
has been taken,
everything you didn’t know you had
has been taken,
and, of course it’s stupid to feel this way, mistaken,
but you, somehow still young, are too stupid
to understand–as you run run run like a horse
who’s afraid that when a horse lies down
it will die–
that this failure, which has unmanned/unwomanned you,
has also made you

You never before knew
what that meant.

Another drafty sort of poem (meaning freshly written) for my prompt on With Real Toads on Falling Into Lines.  The photo is by Christina Martin, taken in the back wings of the American Museum of Natural History.