Posted tagged ‘bulking up’

On the Dark Side of Eclipse – What To Do When the Escapist Mind Candy Just Doesn’t Taste Sweet?

July 1, 2010

Feeling footloose and a bit depressed tonight, the night after seeing Twilight Saga Eclipse. Such a very unsatisfying dose of Pattinson!  (It occurs to me that perhaps there is no such thing as a satisfying dose of Pattinson.)  But really, in this last movie, he is not so much the vampire as the “Man”, not as in THE man, or macho man, or, even delectable or  wonderful man, but as in guard guy, grim reaper, stern authority figure, nay-sayer.  (On top of that, he always seems to have a head-ache.)

One thing that the overly-stressed do not need more of is the Man.  With a head-ache.

It’s especially unfortunate because one quality Pattinson seems to genuinely emanate in real life is a fairly generous self-deprecating sense of humor.  But there’s very little humor allowed him here.  A touch of snideness maybe.  No generosity.

In the meantime, Lautner—ugh.  (Sorry, Team Jacob.)  He seems like a friend of your son’s or brother’s who comes in and cleans out the fridge.  (Through consumption not Ajax.)   When I see him I just think about having to wash someone’s gym clothes.  I’m sure he’s a sweet person–he comes across as a sweet enough person–but talk about luck.

What makes some people successful and others not?  Being in the right time and place?  The ability to bulk up?  (I hope not.)

In any case, I’ve just about given up on Twilight franchise for secret (or not so secret) escapism.  This, I’m afraid, puts me at a bit of a loss on the pop culture/vampire or other superish male/female hero front.   Especially since I haven’t been able to make myself watch a single full True Blood episode; I don’t think I could stomach one of the Steig Larrson films; and I somehow doubt that Horatio Hornblower is going to catch on.

What to do when the mind candy just isn’t very sweet?  Will I have to write my own?   (It just might be easier to bulk up.)