Sorry- re Kennedy post – fixed now

Posted August 26, 2009 by ManicDdaily
Categories: Uncategorized

To any of you who checked out my post re Ted Kennedy and JFK and Bobby earlier this evening–sorry!  I’m not that great at understanding the intricacies of wordpress editing and sometimes the wrong draft gets uploaded.  It has to do with issues related to saving and publishing drafts, especially in the evening, a busy computer time.   It also probably has something to do with my overactive trigger finger.  (I don’t call myself  Manic-D-Daily for nothing.)

At any rate, I’ve corrected weird inserts in sentences now.   They’re weren’t actually so many, but maybe enough to confuse.  Please check out below.

Agh.

Thinking About Kennedys

Posted August 26, 2009 by ManicDdaily
Categories: Kennedys, Ted Kennedy

Tags: , , , , ,

Thinking about the Kennedys today after watching videos on the news.   Very glad for Teddy’s relatively long life, his long service, and too, well, the simple fact that he died a natural death.

He was not electric like his  political brothers (which may be part of why he lived so long).  But he also was exposed to a kind of public scrutiny that they never had to face.  Plus he had to deal with the simple difficulties of extended life.  Who knows how the reputations of John and Bobby would have fared had they lived longer?

Even a eulogist would admit that Teddy was far from perfect.  But you have to admire people who just hunker down, and who,  despite disappointment, tragedy and disgrace, just try to do their part.

Obviously, people tend to romanticize the Kennedy’s hugely.  We have such a cult of celebrity in this country;  they fit the bill very nicely, what with the looks, the memorable speech patterns, the sheer number and variety of the family members, the equally large numbers of tragedies, the money, the religion, and too, the very human vices.    And finally, they illustrated (for lack of a better word) a kind of archetypal nobility, a kind of Robin Hood quality.  Which came from the fact that they were rich people who worked for causes associated with the poor.   (It is hard to find the Bushes noble in the same way.  They seem, at least to me, to be a rich political family who works for the rich.)

Then too, there is the fact that the deaths of Bob and Robert were simply so shocking.  This was because of their youth;  maybe too because of the relative youth of our media culture.  We were less bombarded then.  The deaths hit us so hard.

Anyone old enough to remember the deaths at all remembers them exactly.  They know  where they were when they heard the news of John’s assassination; and then, five years later, the hours and hours they waited for Bobby to die. These were “Pearl Harbor” moments, airstrikes to the collective consciousness.

JFK’s death was different for me than Bobby’s, of course;  in part because he was President, in part because he was the first, in part because it was 1963 and not 1968.  Bobby’s death came right on the heels of Martin Luther King’s death, and of course, in the middle of the Vietnam War.   But Bobby’s death was so sad.  Less aloof than JFK, he seemed so vulnerable, so warm.

I do not bring up the deaths of Bobby and JFK to in any way diminish Teddy.    It’s simply hard to hear of his death without thinking of theirs.  He was so very dignified through these times.

It all this reminded me of a piece I wrote several years ago, an excerpt from a novel called Nice that starts with RFK’s death.   I include it below:

And then Bobby Kennedy was shot.  Kate had stayed up late, and her mom most of the night, watching the t.v. people try to decide whether he’d have brain damage.

Her mom kept moaning, “oh why didn’t they watch him, they should have watched him.”  Then she’d whisper too, “what in the world is happening to this country?”

That was the dark pool everyone stared into.  Most seemed afraid to actually say the words, but some came straight out with it.  “I just can’t understand what’s happening to this country,” one black woman cried from the screen.  “Jack, Martin, and now Bobby.”

They had the t.v. on the next day at school too, while Bobby was being operated on.  The teachers opened up the sliding wall between the two sixth grades so they could all see.  The wall was a soft zig-zaggy thing that folded up like a blubbery fan.  The teachers had said at the beginning of the year they’d open it all the time for special activities but they never had before this.

There was nothing much new on.  The announcers mainly just paused, their faces masks of seriousness.  Then said the same old stuff again in voices too tired for the normal attack dog edge.

Still, it felt important to Kate that they keep watching.  If they all watched, the whole grade, the whole school, the whole country, it felt like they could somehow keep Bobby alive.  And if he lived long enough, they might even be able to force some miracle. If they just all tried.

But the other kids were being so stupid about it, so dumb.  A bunch of boys played desk football, flicking a wadded-up triangle of paper back and forth.   A knot of girls had their heads down on their desks, passing notes under cover of folded arm.

“I’m tired of this,” Bruce Beebee said, as his wad of paper flipped onto the floor.  “Can’t we just watch some cartoons?”

Miss Carlson came over and whispered to him.

“Oh man,” he said, turning his head away.  “I never liked the guy anyway.”

The boys tittered.   The girls picked up their heads to get a better view.  Miss Carlson, a tall woman, bent over further so that her large face, squeezed into a tight fist, almost pressed into his.  She took his arm too, hard, whispered harder.

Kate sat up straight so she could be seen to be watching the t.v., fearful that the teachers would get fed up, just turn it off.

Some guy talked about the Secret Service.  Armed gunmen, line of fire.  Paid bodyguards and working the crowds.  Bruce stopped pulling from Miss Carlson, suddenly attentive.  The other boys turned up their heads too.  Safe for a little while, Kate lay her head down on her desk, facing a bulletin board.  She’d heard all this stuff the night before.  Maybe even twice.

Miss Carlson had hung their reports about the Old West up there.  California.  Kate’s cover was made of red paper, filled by a setting sun.  The red looked purplish in the dark, the sun like a big eye.

The thing was that Bobby seemed like a real person. Of course, Martin Luther King was a person too, and JFK.  But Bobby seemed somehow different, like a big boy, like one of his own kids.  Every once in a while, they showed pictures of them playing football, real football, blurs of teeth, hair, sweater.

Though what they mainly showed was the other picture, his arms outstretched, his head cradled in blood, his eyes staring upwards as if watching a flight of the spirit.

The room seemed suddenly darker, the splinters of light at the sides of the drawn shades softening to blurred bolts of shadow.   Though it was hard to see much beyond the dark shapes of things, she could sense Miss Carlson just to her side, her reddish cheeks covered with tears.  Mrs. Brown too.  Mrs. Brown with the round teased hair and pink skirt suits, who you could just tell was a Republican.

Dear God, she suddenly prayed.  Let them come out now, let them say that he’s okay.

Let him be President too, okay—just let him have it.

Who even cares about president?  Just let him be okay.

When the newsman said he had died, the teachers turned off the t.v.   It was already time to go home.

The room was too bright, even though a few shades were still drawn, everything looked cheap, rundown, plastic.  Kids banged their chairs onto their desks, grabbing each other.  Buses were called over the loudspeaker.

She wanted to cry.  She wanted to walk arm in arm with someone and cry.  That’s what the big kids had done when JFK had been shot.   They’d been taken out to the playground.  She’d only been in first grade back then and couldn’t really cry, had simply walked around watching them.

But crying wasn’t what people were doing now, not the kids anyway.  They were talking and fighting and pushing each other; they were just getting out of there, the sense of shock left to the sides of the dim broad halls where the teachers stood, grim monitors of the crowd.

All rights reserved (Karin Gustafson)

Why I Stay Up Late Rereading Silly Books i.e. Twilight (ha!)

Posted August 25, 2009 by ManicDdaily
Categories: Twilight, Twilight Saga, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Why I Stay Up Late Rereading Really Silly Books (Like, I’ll Admit It, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn, even Midnight Sun….)

  1. Otherwise, I read The New York Times.
  2. Or check on the stock market.
  3. Ugh.
  4. Books like Twilight have happy endings which, at all moments, even the “tense” ones,  can be foreseen by the reader.  Especially on a re-read.
  5. In the world of Twilight, even environmental issues, like the poaching of endangered species in national parkland, are dealt with soothingly.  (The  vampires only go after an “excess” of such endangered species after all, and with only their teeth as weapons.)
  6. And man’s inhumanity to man turns out to be actually vampire’s inhumanity to man, which somehow feels a lot less disturbing …  (I mean, what can you expect from a bunch of bloodcrazed supermodels?)
  7. Health care issues, at least in terms of access to treatment and payment for care, are arranged with breath-taking ease.  Of course, it helps to have a vampire doctor in the house.  And, in Breaking Dawn, a personal x-ray machine.  (Though blood banking’s a bit tricky.)
  8. Hardly anyone in the books seems to actually work at a job for pay except the policeman father (Charlie) who apparently plays cards with other officers much of each day.  Yes, Bella has a part-time job, but whenever this is mentioned, she’s being urged by her employers to take time off.  (The altruistic vampire doctor, who seems somehow to work at the hospital on a volunteer basis,  doesn’t count.)
  9. The New York Times, when I read it, frequently mentions the large number of ordinary Americans not working, being shunted to part-time jobs, or forced to take time off.   Somehow these practices seem a lot more fun in Twilight.
  10. Not only more fun.  More lucrative.  In the best-selling fantasy saga, college tuition and living expenses can actually be earned in one of these barely-existent part-time jobs.  By a teenager.
  11. More importantly, it’s somehow more pleasant to identify with Bella Swan than Maureen Dowd;
  12. More pleasant to read what Edward Cullen has to say than David Brooks, Paul Krugman, Bob Herbert, and/or Frank Rich.
  13. After all, Edward Cullen is even better than Robert Pattinson.
  14. True love conquers all.

August With Elephant

Posted August 25, 2009 by ManicDdaily
Categories: children's illustration, elephants

Tags: , ,
August With Elephant

August With Elephant

Hypocrisy/Stress – A Sticky Wicket

Posted August 24, 2009 by ManicDdaily
Categories: Stress

Tags: , , , ,

Lately, I chew gum on my subway home.  I believe/hope this is mainly a sign of stress.  (See e.g. post “From Rat Race to Rat Rut” about the increased formation of repetitive habits under pressure.)

It is also probably a sign of hunger.  Prices and choices in midtown Manhattan lead to frequently skipped lunches.  Even custom-made salads begin to taste like vinaigretted plastic (plus chickpeas) with enough repetition.   (Although, frankly, this dullness in the lunch area may be another sign of stress, i.e. the shrinking of that part of my brain devoted to executive decision-making,  or, in other words, my work-induced inability to risk blue cheese.)

On the one hand, the chewing is horrible:  it looks completely dumb and makes my jaw ache.  And the taste (like the wonder of many new-found delights) soon dissipates no matter how much I stuff in.

On the other hand, it also feels kind of good.  As I chew (rapidly and with some determination), my wait on the humid, griddle-like platform seems somehow more under control.   My chewing may not make the train come faster, but at least it makes me feel more purposeful.  Or at least it makes my mouth feel purposeful.    Purposeful and silent.    (A benefit, perhaps, if you consider gum chewing preferable to babbling.)

The problem is that, while I have an instinctual distrust of babbling, I was actually trained to hate gum chewing.  This training, however, seems to allow me to chew with great heartiness.   Because, given the voices in my head, I simply can’t see myself as a gum chewer.   No matter how many sticks  (that is, squares)  I jam in.   (At least three or four at once)

I also know I’d never chew gum because of my paranoia of whatever makes it sweet.  I’ve spent a lifetime trying to keep (i) sugar away from teeth and (ii) fake sugar away from my internal organs.

(Chomp chomp.)

I’m so confident in my non-gum chewing, in fact,  that lately I buy a new pack almost every other day.

Even though it’s the kind of thing I never touch.

Nine Reasons to Go To the Country For August Weekend.

Posted August 23, 2009 by ManicDdaily
Categories: Country weekend

Tags: , , , ,
  1. You are getting awfully tired of those same old disciplined/sad faces at the gym on Friday night and early Saturday morning.  (See e.g. prior posts re gym.)
  2. You really have to get to your old house upstate.  An old country house which is not inhabited for weeks gets awfully mousey/moldy smelling during a rainy summer.  On the other hand, since you’re only going up for the weekend, there’s absolutely no time to do anything about any of that other than open the windows as wide as possible and stay outdoors whenever you can (i.e. when it’s only drizzling.)
  3. It’s blackberry season, hurray!  Yes, there seems to be some kind of blight.  (Japanese beetles?  Cyclical die-out?  Too many bears?!)  Still, it’s blackberry season, hurray!
  4. You spend all day blackberrying which means hiking, picking, swimming in ice cold water when the scratches really begin to sting.  Yes, your legs and arms are bleeding.  Despite the ice cold water.  But, you actually pick enough (despite the blight) to make a pie.
  5. Okay, so you’re too tired to make dough.  Still, you actually picked enough to make a pie!
  6. When your husband takes the dead robin off the screened-in porch, the old house really doesn’t smell so bad.
  7. You were able to arrange everything so you don’t have to go back till Monday morning.   No sitting, cursing, through Sunday night traffic jam, hurray!  No waiting in line at the changing of the bus in Kingston, carbon monoxide thinning the ranks of passengers until there are just enough to fill the seats.  No arriving back to Sunday night non-working subway, everyone on the platform hot, tired and sweaty, and you even hotter, tireder and sweatier when you slump into your unairconditioned  apartment.   No, this way, you’ll go back so early now, you’ll sleep all the way.
  8. Even more importantly: grass, clouds,  big sky, patches of blue, blend of cricket and streamsong, salamanders under thick rocks with every kind of salt-and pepper belly and backside, electric green through tree trunks, hay in the next field, the early fall of maple leaves on grey rock face, fawns still spotted.
  9. After two days, hiking, swimming, blackberrying, and avoiding mouse/mold smells, a little work-out at the gym seems invitingly easy.  The faces there say hello.

Anniversary

Posted August 22, 2009 by ManicDdaily
Categories: elephants, poetry, Uncategorized

Tags: , , ,
Catskill Mountain Wedding With Elephants

Catskill Mountain Wedding With Elephants

Mist

Mist rises over lake like fish jumping
like heart wishing like eye
blinking like memory crying like fir boughs
sighing like awe inspiring, like hope
dying (not needed, not even considered), like
dawn breaking like
love making like
water curling in its fall,
like head on lap on
lips on lips on hips
on you on me, like
fingers fingering,
brushing against a nipple,
or being brushed
like something somewhere
sure of joy,
like the thing itself.

All rights reserved.

Going On Somewhere

Posted August 21, 2009 by ManicDdaily
Categories: poetry

Tags: , ,

Porch

The porch pulled them to its side,
invited nestling upon shaded planks,
recalled cool soft times, clover in fields,
the day she cut his hair, and then they picked
out smooth flat stones
and lined them along its surface, thick with
years of knobby deck paint.  Against it,
the stones shone like perfect moons to plant upon
winter table tops, reminders
that nights sown by fireflies
were going on somewhere, some time.

All rights reserved.

Friday!!!

Posted August 21, 2009 by ManicDdaily
Categories: elephants, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , ,
What I Hope To Do This Weekend

What I Hope To Do This Weekend

Single Parenting – A Bit Of A Lump

Posted August 20, 2009 by ManicDdaily
Categories: parenting, single parenting, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , ,

What do you do when you turn around and realize that your truly wonderful, generous,  sweet child has become a bit of a, you know, lump?

I’m not talking about weight gain.

I’m talking about sitting there.  Or lying there.  Curled around a laptop computer.  Or cell phone.  Surrounded by dirty dishes.  A half-full cup of juice or tea balancing.   A peach pit to the side.

Wait a second.  Make that a laptop computer only.  Because at about 1 a.m. the child realizes he or she has lost their cell phone.

They don’t know how it could have happened.

It being 1 a.m. you don’t feel like starting a lengthy discourse on the demerits of a bag (used as purse or messenger bag) that doesn’t close and from which you, as parent, have repeatedly witnessed things fall.

But seriously, how did it happen?

I’m not talking about the loss of the cell phone.

It’s possible that some single parents are stern taskmasters.  They know they can’t do everything and make that clear to their children at an early age.  They inculcate chores.

But some single parents (ahem) find it easier to just do the chores themselves.  They hate to cajole, nag, fight.  Such single parents value the household harmony achieved from separation from a mate; they can’t bear to disturb that peace with harsh words about undone dishes, unclean rooms, untaken-out garbage.  “You’ve got to choose your battles,” such parents insist.

And then these parents are surprised by the sudden realization that there is a bit of a lump sitting on the couch.  Texting or IMing into the night.  Surrounded by food-smudged dishware.  Who’s just misplaced something.

Boot camp is difficult to carry out.  A maiden aunt may be useful in this area.  Or a martial arts instructor.

Or maybe you yourself can muster the requisite sternness.  Consistency can be hard to maintain for a single parent who has, historically, hated confrontation, but it’s worth a try.

Because here’s the point: one some level, the missing cell phone is actually the byproduct of the sofa’s dirty dishes.  An extension of parentally-enabled inattention.

But how to impress that fact on a child, a truly wonderful child, who’s somehow gotten, well, just a little bit lumpy?

You may have to get really quite mad.

(At a certain point, this can generally be arranged.)

FINAL NOTE – Many single parents (i.e. people like me)  have repeatedly through their lives lost cell phones, keys, wallets, keys, glasses, credit cards, keys, clothing, dog leashes, keys, important documents, credit cards, glasses, keys, etc., even when they pride themselves on their dish-doing, and would hate for people to characterize them as in any way lumpy.    So all tongue in cheek, please.

Check out 1 Mississippi at link above.