Archive for the ‘Robert Pattinson’ category

For Romantic Twihards – Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa…errr…Robsten (Maybe)

October 25, 2009

This morning, I wrote a post that suggested that many Twilight fans may not be rooting for “Robsten” (that is, a real life romance between Robert Pattinson and Kirsten Stewart) because it runs counter to the whole gist of the Twilight fantasy (which is the nearly perfect Edward Cullen pursuing the nearly ordinary Bella Swan.)  The emphasis of the Twilight series on Bella as “everygirl” (who is secretly strong, brave, and deeply attractive) made me think that many fans may be hoping for a romance between RPatz and another everygirl (that is, a fan rather than a movie star.)  Given the lives of the two Twilight stars though, I compared the magic (and likelihood) of such a fan-tastical relationship to the existence of Santa Claus.

Thinking about this post later, I worried that I was a bit ungenerous to Twilight fans.  Frankly, I think many fans find the alleged romance between Rob and Kirsten to be fairy-tale-like enough to be perfectly satisfying.  In other words, for these New Moon-struck fans, Robsten may be Santa Claus enough.

Then I wondered, what exactly makes these fans root for Robsten?

1.  Rob and Stewart are simply both so young.

2.  And good-looking.

3.  Not just plain old ordinary good-looking—go-together, top- of- wedding-cake good-looking.

4.  Kirsten is very pretty, but, at least when playing Bella (and not going too heavy on the eyeliner), has a definite American girl-next-door quality.

5. The paparazzi have hounded Rob and Kirsten enough to give them an “underdog” quality.  (You really can’t have a fairy tale without an underdog quality.)

6.  The alleged interest in Pattinson by established female stars, such as Shakira, makes Kirsten a double-underdog.

7.  Most importantly, if “Robsten” is real, other elements of Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn, also become credible … elements such as the existence of perfect male romantic heroes pleading for marriage (and abstinence beforehand),  the happily ever after ending for one and all (even third wheel Jacob), one little bite turning Bella into a super-model.

(The repeated requests of certain Twilight fans to Rob to “bite them” tends to support this last theory.)

For prior post in favor of Team Fan (and no Santa Claus) check out:  https://manicddaily.wordpress.com/2009/10/25/is-there-reall……errr…-robsten/

For more Robsten, RPatz, Stewart, and Twilight, check out other posts in thosoe categories, by going to my homepage:  https://manicddaily.wordpress.com.

For Wishful Twihards – Is there really a Santa…errr… Robsten?

October 25, 2009

Waiting to get my hair cut yesterday, I happened onto a magazine covered with pictures of Rob and Kirsten.  (To the non-cognoscenti, Robert Pattinson and Kirsten Stewart.)

Yes, I only happened onto the magazine (OK!), although I confess I had noticed it before (on nearly every newsstand I walked by.)

The headline  is something like “Welcome to Our Home” and describes the 34th floor of a hotel in Vancouver as the Robsten “love nest.”   As “proof” of the Kirsten/Pattinson relationship, the article declares that Rob refused to leave Vancover during a recent solo one-week break, because Kirsten was stuck there still filming.

During my shampoo, I tried to reconcile OK’s article with (i) recent reports in other “news” sources of Kirsten firmly disclaiming any love relationship with Pattinson, and (ii)  the sinking feeling in my stomach.   That sinking feeling reminded me of the terrible disappointment I felt in the December of my fourth or fifth year of life when, after I had badgered her  nonstop for several weeks, my mother finally admitted that there was no Santa Claus.

It was odd.  I had been quite sure that there was no Santa Claus.  I had gone through the impossibility of it repeatedly in my head;  my endless questions were framed with the statement, “I already know the truth, so just tell me okay?”  But when my mom actually said the words aloud, tears sprang to my eyes, a huge lump filled my throat and chest, and I could hardly stand to believe her.

“Reliable reports” posit that Summit Entertainment, the maker of the Twilight movies, won’t let Rob and Kirsten admit to their relationship for fear of scuttling the credibility of the Jacob-Bella focus in the upcoming New Moon and Eclipse movies.  (For any non-cognoscenti still reading this post, Jacob, played by brawny Taylor Lautner, is the werewolf rival, of the divine vampire Edward, played by RPatz.)

That doesn’t make sense to me.  First of all, even the most rabid Twilight fans must know that the Twilight movies are just movies.  (Although some are crazed enough to seem to need Midsummer Night’s Dream’s Peter Quince explaining that “Lion” is really played by a man.)  Still, it’s hard to see Jacob as a credible rival to Edward, even in the books.

Even so, Summit may be on to something (besides publicity) in keeping “Robsten” under wraps.   The fact is that the people who like Twilight like fantasy.  And the true fantasy of the books and movies   (other than the werewolf/vampire bit) is not the love affair of two super-glamerous, wealthy, and successful movie stars who are constantly thrown together, but the unbreakable romance of the nearly perfect (though secretly flawed) Edward and the nearly ordinary (though secretly attractive and brave)  Bella, despite all of his efforts to keep his distance.

As a result, I suspect that the true Santa Claus story for most fans is not the real-life probability of “Robsten” but the other-wordly possibility of Rob holding out for a real life Bella, someone who, like them, is loyal, brave, true, klutzy, and, with the right makeover, could look really great.

Sorry, girls, but I don’t think there is a Santa Claus.

If you’re interested in slightly silly…errr… thoughtful posts re RPatz, Robsten, and Twilight, check out my other posts in those categories, especially post discussing why some modern females prefer Robert Pattinson to Marlon Brando, and why I know my feelings for RPatz are strictly maternal.  Find these from ManicDDaily home page:  https://manicddaily.wordpress.com.

Also for subsequent post re Yes, Virginia there is a Santa…errr… Robsten, check out:  https://manicddaily.wordpress.com/2009/10/25/yes-virginia-t……robsten-maybe/

Robert Pattinson Unmasked, Carefully Carved

October 18, 2009

In the blues of Sunday evening, I looked up two conflicting articles in the blogosphere.  Both about you know who.  (Hint—it’s not Voldemort.)

They present an interesting contrast.  One is from an internet site called Irish Central, which has never liked Robert Pattinson because of all the attention he (inadvertently) stole from the Irish actor, Pierce Brosnan, in the filming of Remember Me in New York this past summer.   Irish Central had a few articles back then (i) comparing the relative virtues of RPatz and Brosnan –you can guess who came out ahead, and (ii) saying how much friendlier Brosnan was to fans.  (Of course, Brosnan was not the guy who was grabbed from every direction, chased into collisions with taxi cabs, and forced to stand in a seven foot high box during breaks in the on-street filming.)

In this weekend’s Irish Central article, focusing on bestselling Halloween masks (presumably in Ireland), the Central reports, snarkily, that the mask of the “pretty boy” vampire isn’t even in the top ten.  It goes on to mock Rob: “if your halloween mask won’t sell, what kind of horror film movie star are you?”

Irish Central bases its snarkiness on one major misapprehension—the Twilight films aren’t horror films, they are romances.  Since when do romantic heroes sell Halloween masks?

Never.  What romantic heroes apparently sell at Halloween (or distribute in large numbers free of charge) are pumpkin stencils!  I learned this from another, much smaller, internet site called Huliq, which reports on the popularity of free downloadable pumpkin stencils of RPatz as Edward Cullen.  (You know the pose–it’s the same one used on the RPatz shower curtain–he looks angry/determined with criss-crossing eyebrows, and puffed- up hair.)

I took a look at these stencils, and frankly, you’d have to have the manual dexterity of Michelangelo to carve one into a pumpkin.  (Although the directions helpfully suggest using toothpicks to hold the bridge of the nose in place.)

Which brings up another mistake in Irish Central’s whole put-down of RPatz.  Who even wears big rubber cover-your-whole face Halloween masks?  Not young women.  Not ‘tween girls.  Not even older, weird, women.   Not, in other words, Pattinson’s primary fan base.

But who, one wonders, carves Robert Pattinson pumpkin faces?

Simple!  People who want to win a Rob-O-Lantern contest!

What a world/internet.
P.S. If you want help with elephant-o-lanterns, check out 1 Mississippi by Karin Gustafson on link above or at Amazon.

The Relatives Who Would Be Famous – Elvis’s Grandson

October 7, 2009
Across the Aisle - "The Boy Who Would Be King"

Across the Aisle - "The Boy Who Would Be King"

I step into the subway train this morning and pass a New York Post open to the headline “The Boy Who Would be King.”

I, of course, think immediately of my blog of yesterday, in which I describe Robert Pattinson and Rupert Grint competing for the part of Prince Harry in a new movie to be called “The Spare.”

But the face that stares out at me diagonally and upside down as I sit down across the aisle has a distinctly American look.  Yes, the hair stands straight up, but not in the British-accenty, nearly-stuttering, hand-tousled style of RPatz, but straight up like angry crab grass.  It’s looks rougher, more bristly than Pattinson’s, and (although you figure something artificial has to be going on with Rob’s hair), these tresses are clearly dippity-dooed.  (Oops—I’m showing my age here.)  Gelled.

Then my eyes catch a couple of words of the caption.  “Elvis” is one, “grandson,” the other.

I can see the resemblance now, the rounded forehead that’s also square at the edges, a certain set to the chin.

OMG, I think.  But not in a truly enthusiastic way.

Yes, I like Elvis.   Actually, I love Elvis.  And I wish good luck to his grandson.  But what dismays me is how oligarchical this country has become.  The worlds of both entertainment and politics seem more and more like one huge dynasty trust.  (This, in case you don’t know, is a form of family trust intended to go on and on and on, minimizing tax, and building wealth for lucky future generations.)

Famous families, musical families, political families, are, of course, a tradition of sorts.  Look at the Mozarts, Wolfgang, son of Leopold.  Then there were the Brontes—Emily, Anne, Charlotte and Branwell.  (Only they were siblings, so they may not count.)   Still, what about the… Plantagenets, the Tudors, the Bonapartes, the Romonovs, the Redgraves….

But they were all European, for goodness sake.  The U.S. is supposed to be the land of opportunity, fresh starts, wide open spaces, being judged by your own merits and not because of your birth–

Okay, even the U.S. has had its historical political and entertainment families—the Roosevelts, the Rockefellers, the Barrymores.  But lately, it feels as if famous families have multiplied faster than rabbits; there are just so many interconnections:  the Kennedys, the Bushes, the Clintons, Evan Bayh (son of Birch), Al Gore Jr.  (son of Al Senior), Andrew Cuomo (son of Mario), to name a few.

I have to confess that I really don’t pay much attention to the world of entertainment.  (Robert Pattinson is about the only modern “celebrity” I know.)  Still, even I can come up with a bunch of actor/entertainer relatives.  (And I don’t mean to minimize the talents of any, just to point out the connections):   the Fondas, of course, Michael Douglas, George Clooney, Kate Hudson, Liza Minelli, Carrie Fisher, Nicole Ritchie, Sophia Coppola, McKenzie Phillips.

And now, we have Elvis’s grandson.

I just hope he inherited some blue suede shoes.

For families of elephants, please check out 1 Mississippi at link above or on Amazon!

What’s Up With Robert Pattinson? (Unspared.)

October 6, 2009

And now, what you all have been waiting for!   An update on what has been happening to Robert Pattinson.

It feels like ages since I’ve written about dear old (err…young) Rob.  But that doesn’t mean I haven’t been watching.   At least occasionally.   (I’m sorry, Rob.   I do try not to look at the paparazzi photos.  Much.)

So what’s Rob been doing?   According to the (literally)  hundreds of internet articles and posts published weekly:

1.  Filming the new Twilight movie, Eclipse, sometimes with Kristen Stewart, his character’s fiance.   This has led the tabloids to proclaim, “Rob Proposes to Kristen On Set!”

2.  Eating dinner, sometimes with Kristen Stewart.   (Even when they eat with six other people, Rob and Kristen “share dinner.”)

3.  Going back to his hotel, which is apparently the same hotel in which Kristen stays.  (You can guess what the tabloids say about that.)

4.  Channeling James Dean on a magazine cover.   Also trying to snatch the role of Prince Harry in a new movie “The Spare”, apparently from Rupert Grint (who is Ron Weasly in the Harry Potter movies).    I had not previously noticed an overlap between James Dean, Prince Harry, and Ron Weasly, but the tabloids (using Rob) manage to close that gap.

Oddly, no headline mentions that Rob already was “the spare” as  Cedric Diggory in the 4th Harry Potter movie.  (So Rob already has experience!)

5.  Throwing darts at pictures of himself.  This is one of the many stories based on an account from an “insider.”

6.   Failing to measure up to Tim Gunn’s standards for neat attire, though definitely measuring up to Tim Gunn’s standards for good looks.   (Aw.)

7.  Serving (unwittingly) as the subject of a documentary (“Robsessed”) which purports to “access all areas” of his life, but which, according to MTV, won’t be worth the $20 price tag.

8.  Serving (unwittingly) as the subject of an MTV  “Rob-O-Lantern” contest in which pumpkins are to be carved in his likeness.  (This, in MTV’s eyes, is a more satisfying activity for the Rob-crazy than watching “Robsessed”.)  The prize for the best-carved Rob-O-Lantern, believe it or not, is a chance to write your very own blog post about Robert Pattinson!   (!!!)

9.  Giving an interview in which he and Kristen Stewart confess to their “real-life romance.”   (The interview hasn’t been published yet, but an “insider” tells all.)

10.  Giving an interview in which he and Kristen Stewart fail to confess to their “real-life romance.”   (The interview hasn’t been published yet, but an “insider” tells all.)

11.  Tweeting his one and only tweet in honor of the attainment by his Twilight “father,” Peter Facinalli,  of  1 million followers on Twitter.  (What I’m wondering is how many of these followers read the Twilight father’s tweets primarily to hear about Rob!  And, who was that “insider?”)

12.  Giving an interview (which was published) in which he talks of trying to avoid places where he can be seen by paparazzi and curious people.  (Who can blame him?)

13.  Handling all the hoopla with (what looks like) a fair amount of grace (and also, possibly, darts.)

For more about RPatz, see my other posts on him, especially ten reasons why my feelings for Robert Pattinson must be strictly maternal: https://manicddaily.wordpress.com/2009/07/25/10-reasons-why…ictly-maternal/

Robert Pattinson’s Hair – This Blog

September 22, 2009

This blog was found by some unknown person today through the search term “how to do my hair like Robert Pattinson.”

I view this as a significant achievement.  (Not doing one’s hair like Robert Pattinson—that’s not just significant; that’s amazing.)  No, what I’m talking about is the fact that my blog would show up as the possible provider of an answer to a question of this kind.

My own hair-manipulating experience is pretty much limited to braids.  (So far, not Pattinson’s style.)

I’ve hardly even had my own hair “done”.  The only times I can remember are as a pre-teen (a member of the other age group so fascinated by RPatz.)  Hair was “done” back then for Junior High School dances.

The Junior High School “dos” were the coiffure equivalents of the corsages our pre-teen dates bought us for these events.  These were typically carnations (baby roses, if the guy was willing to shell out), which were wired together into a bunched but spacious array, gaps filled in with tangles of baby’s breath and leaf.  Green paper wrapped the stems in back; very sharp pins (with pearl tips) were used to keep the whole thing affixed to budding chests.

Even so my long blonde hair was curled, teased, smoothed, and sprayed, shaped and volumized, until it ended up a combination of beehive and Marie Antoinette’s wig.  (Now that I think about it, it also looked something like Pattinson’s hair in the Prom scene at the end of Twilight. Only mine also had ringlets.)

Those days are long long gone.  (And there were only a couple of them to begin with  – the Valentine’s Day Dance, and later the Spring Dance.  Eighth Grade.)

Which makes it hard for me to believe that I could be allowed some small measure of authority on this subject:  the way to Robert Pattinson’s hair.

The magic of the Internet never ceases to amaze….

Check out  1 Mississippi on Amazon or at link above.

New “New Moon” Trailer – Not a Frame by Frame Analysis

September 14, 2009

Last night, my husband sweetly calls me to tell me that he heard something about a new New Moon trailer coming out soon.   (Although he is both embarrassed and mystified by my interest in the whole Robert Pattinson Twilight phenomenon, he also understands that my feelings about Robert Pattinson are strictly maternal.  See e.g. prior post as to why I know that my feelings for Robert Pattinson are strictly maternal.)

I thank him but tell him that the trailer was leaked onto the internet before its official release and that I’ve actually already seen it.  (I don’t mention the number of times.)

I also tell him that the trailer was almost immediately broken down by a blogger in a frame by frame analysis, a bit like a new iPhone.  Only in the case of New Moon, the first analysis (a written one) was undertaken on an incredibly superficial (bloggy-type) manner, as in at “l minute 37 seconds Bella jumps into water”,  at “1 minute 38 seconds Bella is pulled from water”.   (It seemed to be the type of analysis whose only real purpose is to be read to the blind.)

Today, however, there is a new “frame by frame” breakdown which breaks the trailer into stills, supposedly all of them.  (Though, from what I can see, there is at least one nice image of Rob that is definitely missing.)

Still, the effort the Robert Pattinson/Twilight blogosphere is making is pretty amazing.  I mean, I’ve never seen a frame by frame breakdown of the trailers for 8 ½ or Citizen Kane or Jules and Jim, or even some blockbuster type movie like Spiderman. (I have to confess I’ve never actually looked for frame by frame breakdowns of these trailers.  Even so, I’m pretty sure that they don’t pop up first search.)

It all goes to show that there are many many people (and probably not just teenage girls) with an awfully lot of time on their hands.

Ahem.

If you want to teach how child how to count the time on his or her hands, check out 1 Mississippi by Karin Gustafson, on Amazon.  Or check link above.

Robsten and Government “Death Panels”

September 2, 2009

Until recently, I’ve never focused much on celebrities.  Even recently, I’ve only focused on one celebrity.  (If you’ve followed this blog at all, you know which celebrity that is.)

My biggest number of posts on a single subject have probably been about him (Robert Pattinson, if you are new to this blog.)  The second largest number has probably centered  on the stress and isolation of modern life.  (I’m including in this number some of the ones not technically categorized under stress, but which probably should be, i.e. those on single parenting, marriage, Friday night gym, even some on writer’s block.)   I’m guessing that there’s a link there.  (Yes, between parenting and stress, but what I’m really talking about is stress and a friendly, middle-aged interest in Robert Pattinson.)

But although both stress and my Manic D personality continue in full force, my interest in RPatz is slowly beginning to fade.  (My family members will soon be able to breathe a collective sigh of relief.)

(Of course, Rob’s next movie is due out in November.  Who knows what that will inspire?)

But putting Pattinson himself aside—(by the way, he just gave a really very charming interview in—STOP IT RIGHT NOW!)

But (ahem) putting Pattinson himself aside, what continues to fascinate me is the coverage of him by the blogosphere, the little internet “news” outlets, the entertainment weeklies.

It’s really quite amazing.

The stories remind me of a big supernova daisy where one little comment by Pattinson,  Kristen Stewart (his co-star), an “insider”, or some other celebrity who has never actually met Pattinson, will generate huge petal-ly loops of increasingly remote speculation.

When Rob has managed to evade the paparazzi for some time (as has happened recently), the celebrity “news” media even stoops to openly fictional stories based upon the activities of the character he portrays.  See, e.g. the recent cover of one entertainment rag which proclaims him and Stewart to be “ENGAGED!” on the set of third Twilight movie.  What I believe the story is about (I really really really have not actually read it) is the engagement of Pattinson’s and Stewart’s characters.

The whole celebrity daisy phenomenon has set me to wondering how mainstream news is reported.

And, frankly, the reporting of the health care debate has led me to believe that the mainstream news world is really not that different from the fantastical Twilight realm of Pattinson and the paparazzi.

The furor over government “death panels” comes especially to mind.   This uproar, which has no basis in reality, seems especially ironic given that currently much medical care for the elderly and the disabled is already provided by the government in the form of medicare and Medicaid.  (The number of persons in nursing homes and disabled adults supported by Medicaid is already legion.  Medicaid planning is a huge and accepted area of the law.  Reports of Medicare and Medicaid recipients being denied care by government panels are relatively small, certainly as compared to reports of non-Medicaid patients denied private insurance coverage.)

The death panel outcry reminds me of last summer’s netroar over Kristen Stewart’s alleged pregnancy (with RPatz as father, of course.)  The seed for this was apparently a blog in Australia (Stewart was in L.A. at the time) which reported that Stewart had asked a friend to purchase a pregnancy test for her.  Dozens (maybe even hundreds) of  headlines inquiring into Stewart’s childbearing status immediately followed.  Soon, they featured photos of Stewart in skin tight pants which were magnified to huge blurry proportions.  Arrows were drawn on the photos to point out a supposed tummy bump.  (The slender Kristen was not only supposed to be pregnant but showing.)  Pictures of Rob Pattinson wearing a sheepish, guilty father, expression were posted at the side.

Of course, the death panel rumors really are somewhat different.  They originated in Alaska.

I love Alaska; I love Australia; I love the Mississippi.  Check out 1 Mississippi (Karin Gustafson) at the link above.

Robert Pattinson and My Dog Pearl

August 30, 2009

My online astrologer wrote that the troublesome opposition between Saturn and Jupiter this weekend might bring up a host of old, but nettling, problems.  I don’t actually pay that much attention to my online astrologer these days.  Any astrologer who predicted, as he did, that the economic downturn of 2008 would improve markedly at the end of August 2008—that is, a couple of weeks before the collapse of Lehman Brothers—has lost an identifiable percentage (let’s say 65) of my confidence.

That said, it was a nettling weekend.  I felt the other side of manic, that is depressed enough last night, to actually seek out images of Robert Pattinson on my blackberry. (I had no internet connection.)  (Yes, it was pathetic.)

The images were very very small, and frankly, some of the ones that were retrieved were irretrievably model-ly.  Plastic.  They looked about as much like my preferred Pattinson as elevator music sounds like real music (i.e. not much.)

Still, I persisted, thumbing the little keys to next and next, until I finally got to a couple of tousled-haired, sweet smiles.  I felt immediately a bit better.

Yes, it’s very weird.

Seriously.

In my defense, my interest really is not combined with any fantasies about Pattinson, not even a narrative line.  (Other than the fantastical stories of the Twilight books, I suppose. Though, those are not my fantasies.  I don’t even identify with them except perhaps with the heroine’s physical clumsiness, and …loyalty, and, okay, there’s the whole unrequited love aspect.)

Still, feeling stressed, I guess, yet non-manic, I sought out the little postage stamp pictures.  (See e.g. post “From Rat Race to Rat Rut.”)

The whole scenario reminds me of my dog (my family’s dog) whose name is Pearl.  Pearl is a very cute dog.  White tousled fur, black-nosed and eyed.  An easily anthropomorphized face whose (very cute) expressions run the gamut from “delighted”,to  “quizzical”, to  “I want,” to “pretty please” to “I don’t want” to “oh no!”

She looks a bit like a classic cartoon, a children’s toy, which is to say mopsy, fluffy but ragtag, bemused.

I am Pearl’s groomer.  Which is to say, she is not terribly well-groomed, certainly not symmetrical or in any way poofy.

People absolutely love her.  Passersby stop and stare at her when we walk.  They smile.  They laugh.  Small children reach out their hands.

The public reaction to Pearl has often made me feel that perhaps my whole purpose in life, the secret but true reason I was put on this earth, has nothing to do with my work, my wonderful wonderful children, or even the payment of taxes.  But simply to walk this cute little dog around, and, by doing so, to brighten peoples’ days.

Which may be, at least a part, of Robert Pattinson’s purpose.

Does it have something to do with tousled hair?

Hmmm…..

Check out 1 Mississippi (Karin Gustafson) at link above or on Amazon.  Thanks!

From Rat Race to Rat Rut

August 18, 2009

In the Science Times section of today’s New York Times (August 18, 2009), is a great article about the effects of stress on brain circuitry.  (“Brain is a Co-Conspirator in a Vicious Stress Loop” by Natalie Angier.)

Ms. Angier reports a study by Nuno Sousa of the Life and Health Sciences Research Institute in Portugal which described how chronically stressed rats succumbed to habitual and seemingly compulsive routines (like repeatedly pressing a bar for food pellets that they had no intention of eating).  The study found that underlying changes had actually taken place in the brains of these rats, with decision-making and goal-oriented areas of the brain shrinking, and areas related to habit-formation swelling.

As Ms. Angier writes, the stressed rodents “were now cognitively predisposed to keep doing the same things over and over, to run laps in the same dead-ended rat race, rather than seek a pipeline to greener sewers.”

In other words, the stressed rats got into a rut, dug, in part, by their own brains.

There’s no clear answer to why the stressed brain is so prone to habit formation.  One possibility posited in the article is that the brain in crisis may try to shunt activities to automatic pilot simply to free up space for  bigger questions.  Which, because of the concomitant weakening of the ability to make decisions, the stressed brain just can’t deal with.

Ah.

This syndrome sounds familiar.   Especially the compulsively pressing the lever part.  (Although it’s a bit hard to imagine any kind of food pellet I wouldn’t eat when under stress.)

Still, after reading the article, I came up with the following list.

Ten Signs That You May Be A Rat in a Rut.   (Or How To Know If Your Brain’s In Stress.)

1.   When you are not sitting at a computer, you check your blackberry every few minutes, even on an underground subway train.

2.   You check your blackberry when stepping out of the subway just to see how long it takes to get service back.  You study the little flashing arrows as you climb the subway stairs, conscious of your breath.

3.   If, after a while, no one’s written, you start to open spam.  Just to clear it out.  Just in case there’s something that’s not spam.  You even open some of the messages for p*n*s enl*rg*m*nt.   (Yes, you’re a woman, but you’re only checking those to see how they managed to get through your spam filter.)

4.   When someone on the phone talks of an article they’ve read, you find it online before they finish their sentence.   (At least you think they haven’t finished their sentence.  You were doing a Google search so you’re not really sure.)

5.   You convince yourself that your interest in Robert Pattinson is a sociological study of our media/youth culture.  (Oh that RPatz!  Oh those Paparazzi!)  You are alternatively amazed at how little and how much is on Google News in the articles posted on Pattinson during the “Last Hour.”

6.   You peruse the sales of online retailers even though you have no money, and (thankfully) no pressing needs.  When you buy something, you congratulate yourself on how much you saved.

7.   You check all the stocks that have gone up dramatically in the last few months but that you did not buy.  (You studiously avoid checking stocks you own, hoping that you can not check those long enough to forget what they were.)

8.   You find yourself reading the same books again and again.  These books are fantasies in which unreal things happen to unreal people, ending happily.  You don’t find the books especially satisfying after the tenth read, but, on the other hand, they are also not disturbing.

9.   Your eyes are sore at night.  When you wake up the next morning, they are still sore.  Even so, you reach for your laptop and/or blackberry first thing.  You decide that a glare screen is the only solution, and shop for one online, looking for sales.

10. Your daughter shouts from the other room at about 9:45 p.m, “are we going to have dinner soon?”   You are working on a computer that has no glare screen.  “Just a minute,” you tell her some time later.

(Wait, what did they say about food pellets?)

If you are more interested in elephants swimming than rats racing, check out 1 Mississippi at the link above or on Amazon.