Archive for January 2010

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How To Be Cool. For Those Whose Slang (Like Their Mahtabili) Is A Little Bit Rusty.

January 24, 2010

Cool!

I am currently lying under a fleece blanket and two down comforters.    The heating unit at my side is turned off.  I could jump quickly into the cold, twist it on, then slip back into my lair, but, for some reason, I just don’t.

I’m not quite sure what this reason is.  I pay for heat in my apartment, so there’s an element of miserliness.  It’s blown hot air  (dry and noisy),  so there’s simple distaste.  There’s also, of course, my  heightened, if terribly inconsistent, environmental consciousness.  Then too, there’s the memory of my last apartment where Super-controlled heat blasts made for January sweats.

All of these combine into a perverse, hardier-than-thou, pride that keeps the heating units switched off.

I have recently found that this pride makes me part of  “Cool Crowd,” a class of people depicted in the New York Times the other day who eschew indoor heat in cold climates.

Being part of this cool crowd feels really great (despite the weight of the blankets).  I always was embarrassingly unhip as a child.  Actually, I’ve felt unhip my entire life.  I’ve rarely known the names or music of hot bands, TV shoes, movies, films.  My slang, like Alec Guiness’s “Mahtabili” in the film classic Kind Hearts and Coronets, has always been “a little bit rusty.”

Given the fact that the temperature in my apartment probably rarely dips below 50/45  (I don’t have a thermostat), I’m guessing that I’m only on the “luke” edge of the “cool crowd”.    Even so, no less than three members of my family separately asked me if I had seen the NY Times article.

These family members are extremely patient.   They don’t openly groan during my monologues about the merits of long silk underwear,  the importance of wool,  the risks of sock-removal.  They joke about the fact that I constantly tell them that they can turn on the heat, if they want, then proceed to turn it off again (if they’ve dared) after only a few minutes.

I warn them against wimpiness.  I regale them with tales about the time the water in my toilet bowl froze.   I protest that this is not about me disliking warmth, reminding them that I don’t turn on the AC in summer either.    They don’t actually need reminders of that.

Ah, Summer.  That’s when we get to be part of “who’s hot.”

P.S. – sorry for any misspelling of Mahtabili.  Please feel free to correct.

Categories: children's illustration, Environment, parenting, Uncategorized
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Rob Pattinson – Homage to Haiti, Wolf Pack, or Soltzenitsyn?

January 23, 2010

Rob Pattinson – Homage To Haiti, Wolf Pack or Soltzenitsyn?

Breaking News:  Rob Pattinson joins the wolf pack (in animatronic form) in Hope for Haiti telethon.  Apparently (finally) broken by the constant onslaught of paparazzi and palpitating Twilighters, Rob seems to have traded fangs for fur, smolder for shell shock.  Although Rob’s message, delivered with the lightness (and facial hair) of Alexander Soltzenitsyn, was taped from London, he looked dazed, as if he’d seen, first hand, the horrors of Port-au-Prince.  I like Rob, and despite my sympathy for charity, I hate celebrities simpering about disasters, so I’m going to assume that he wasn’t simply stoned or disinterested, but young, embarrassed, and not great at reading from a teleprompter.

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Life as it is (impromptu post)

January 22, 2010

I celebrate my father-in-law’s 99th birthday tonight.  He proclaims his secret is to never worry about things that he cannot change.  How do people do this?

I have other friends who have been told by their doctors that they may not celebrate their 60th birthdays, or even the birthday expected next.  They can’t help but worry about things that they cannot change.

Life is difficult.  I don’t know what the key is.  But I know that one must try to be happy with what is right here now.  How does one do this?  One thing is to try, to discpline one’s mind, to learn to purposefully let go of stress and worry, unease and sadness.

My generation was raised to be natural.  We want things (i.e. happiness)  to come naturally.  As we age, this is not so easy.  (Old age and aches and pains come naturally.)  I think a little discipline, mind control, stiff upper lip, is called for.  I hope we can remember how it works.

Categories: Stress, Uncategorized
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Thermal Power (Not What You Expect)

January 22, 2010

Thermos

I’m going back today to the endless snack/media culture: children hooked in and chomping little individually wrapped servings all day long.  (See prior post ‘The Matrix of Cheetos”.)   This worry has been compounded by a new Australian study describing the increased mortality  (for adults) associated with increased hours of TV viewing.  (Although the report of the study seems to blame sitting for the increased mortality, the actual activity that seemed to lead to the deaths was sitting in front of the TV.)

This Australian study makes it clear that parents should consider limiting their own media time.  But we all know the problems with that.

So going back to trying to limit kids: “just say no,” is easy to say; “no” is a lot harder.

With young children (under ten or twelve), reading aloud may be a useful substitute; by this, I mean adults reading aloud to children, not children, especially children with difficulties, practicing reading. (I’m certainly not against children working on their reading with their parents, but I’m talking about fun activities here, not torturous ones.)

If parents are not great read-alouders, even listening to books on tape together seems preferable to the nonstop perusal of little teeny (or oversized) screens.

Snacks:  I’m an inveterate snacker, meal skipper, meal avoider.  But, like many, I am very happy to tell people to do as I say and not as I do.

The obvious advice—make meals.  Even if snacks are going to be snuck in throughout the day, try to provide your kids with a real, if ceremonial, breakfast, dinner.  Sit down together while dinner is eaten.    (Even if the TV is also a companion, at least sit in front of it together.)

To the extent possible, eat these meals on plates and not from packaging.   Try not to allow eating, directly from boxes, cartons, bags!  (Okay, okay, I do it too, but it definitely undercuts the understanding that food has been in fact consumed, and how much.)

Last tip:  when taking snacks into the world, add in a thermos.  There is nothing like a hot drink, shared with child (or adult) that gives a sense of quiet community.  Granted, some hot drinks from thermoses; i.e. milky tea, can have a bit of a tinned flavor.  Even so, warm feelings arise from the fact that  you and your child have carried along your own little liquid home-made hearth; that you have prepared  your own little portable tea party.  The steam tinges the moment with the specialness of a memory-to-be.  (For me, who really does love hot tea, it feels like having my own little traveling Delphi, though I’m not sure it helps much with the oracular.)

Delphi On A Checked Cloth

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Calling On Citizens (Real Live Human Being Citizens) To Unite Against Supreme Court Ruling

January 21, 2010

Emboldened Fat Cat

I was all set to put up a post on bad snack habits making regular people get fatter, when I read about today’s Supreme Court decision allowing fat cats to get fatter, or at least, to better spread their fat around.  (Sorry, that’s a yucky metaphor, but it’s a pretty yucky concept.)

As most of you know by now, Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission basically allows corporate entities and interest groups to spend unlimited funds to directly torpedo or advance a political candidate or cause.

I’m not sure why I’m surprised by the decision.  We are living in the age of Qualcomm Stadium, Minute Maid Park, Citi Field.  Why should we not now have the explicitly corporate candidate? Statehouse?

In the old days, there was Wrigley Field.  But this was at least named for the individual person, William Wrigley Jr.  (It isn’t, for example, Juicy Fruit Field.)  Wrigley Field, in addition, has historically been home to just about the losingest team in baseball, so it’ s difficult to talk of undue corporate influence there.

This new decision raises the concern that the whole country (as well as every small locality) will become the South Florida of a Carl Hiaasen novel.  The scariest part of this is that all the terrible things that happen in those novels—the destruction of the Everglades and the manipulation of single-mother-topless dancers to protect and enrich sugar farmers and real estate developers—will suddenly be, more or less, legal.  (Okay, okay, maybe not the express manipulation of topless dancers.)

I don’t mean to imply that voters are naïve.  But, well, many voters are naïve.  Money, presentation, packaging, glossiness, go a long way in the sale of a message in the same way that they do of a product.  I think about the use of music as a backdrop for film—how different music can make the same footage menacing or romantic, comic or grave.   The Supreme Court decision suddenly allows in a huge amount of very determined money to pay the piper well; it is hard to believe that this new money will not be able to effect great changes in the contextual “music” underlying any political message, and to fundamentally alter the way in which such messages are perceived.

Sure, individuals often vote their self-interest, but the self-interest of individuals is far more complex than their economic well-being; people, real human people (as opposed to corporate entities and associations) tend to be more than their bottom lines.  People often don’t even have bottom lines;  many are simply at the bottom, standing in lines.  It’s unlikely such people  will be well-served by this ruling.

Categories: news, Uncategorized
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The Matrix on Cheetos

January 20, 2010

The Matrix On Cheetos

Two tremendously scary articles in today’s New York Times.

No, I don’t mean the one about Robert Gates in India warning of interlocking Asian terror networks.  Or the one about ex-convicts from the U.S. joining  with Yemen radicals.   Or even the ones about the defeat of Martha Coakly in Massachusetts.

I’m talking about the article by Jennifer Steinhauer reporting that “Snack Time Never Ends” for U.S. children, and the one by Tamar Lewin, “If Your Kids Are Awake, They Are Probably Online.” (This one reports that, with the advent of smart phones, personal computers, and other digital devices,  internet time never ends for U.S. children.)

Reading these articles, one gets a picture of a U.S. child blindfolded by a miniature screen, which he manipulates with one hand, while using the other to repeatedly lift crinkly snacks to his lips.  (It’s kind of like the Matrix on Cheetos.)

I don’t mean to sound critical.  I myself spend much of the day on the computer.  I am also an inveterate “grazer.”

The difference between me and most U.S. children, however, is that I’m old enough to know better.  I have had enough experience of the benefits of (a) uninterrupted concentration, (b) delayed gratification, and (c) discipline, to understand that there is something to be gained from thinking deeply and quietly while repressing the urge for non-stop stomach and mind candy.  Even my body (especially the toothy bits)  has a deep (if sometimes neglected) understanding of the benefits of not constantly chewing.

In other words, I feel guilty.

My personal difficulties bring up the fact that adult society has, to a large degree, fomented this conduct among children.   In the case of adults,  however,  ADD (attention deficit disorder) is generally called “multi-tasking.”

It’s bad for us too.   There has been study upon study about the dangers of texting while driving, texting while walking, texting while taking care of young children.  Then, of course, there are the soaring obestity rates.

But it all seems worse when children are involved.

Though I  don’t mean to criticize parents, part of the problem is simply their  busy-ness.   Working hard, their lives, and the lives of their children, are highly scheduled.  Snacks and media are used to silence childish impatience;  both allow parents to participate in their children’s lives in a way that makes them feel (and is) caring, as cook, food-buyer, internet-regulator, but is also somehow less personal and confrontational, than acting as direct companion and/or adversary.

Older generations focused on the behavior of children (and both parents and children had the relief of unsupervised play–time that was free and apart from each other); but in our world, it’s not enough for children behave the way that we want them to;  we also want them to be happy while behaving this way (while remaining in a fairly confined location).   Some parents trot out long explanations to children, trying to secure agreement to restrictions;  others (or maybe the same parents) trot out snacks, gameboys, smart phones, trying to pre-empt disagreement, discomfort, wear and tear.

It doesn’t really work.  But the parent is busy, stressed;  besides, he or she has some browsing to do.

Categories: elephants, parenting, Stress, Uncategorized
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Waxing Philosophical – The Framework of Now

January 19, 2010

One of the negative side effects of being a writer and blogger is difficulty being a “liver”.  (I do not mean here an organ that filters blood, but a person who does not filter experience.)

When you focus a great deal on ongoing narratives and commentary, it can be very hard to just be (as they say) in the moment.  The ongoing mental monologue (or dialogue if, like me, you are a Gemini) unfortunately leads to a lack of attention, also a lack of wonder.  This is terribly self-defeating as both attention and wonder are important tools in coming up with something real/good/unique to write about.

Of course, it’s not just writing and blogging that make for difficulties in being present in the actual ongoing physical world.  Modern life cultivates customs of pre-occupation.  Cell phones, blackberries, make avoidance of the direct physical moment seductively easy; a screen on which one can project one’s own narrative and constant commentary (whether texting, emailing, or simply identifying) is compellingly addictive.

There’s also the fear factor.   Turning your attention to the moment, to the right now physical world, can be scary simply because you are typically such a small part of that moment, such a teeny, transient, corner in that world.

Here’s a short poem about it, written while trying to take a walk.  (In short, it’s a poem written about being in the moment while avoiding actually being there.)

The Framework of Now

How hard it is
for the mind to fit
into the framework of now;
the reason may be
that ‘now’ is not ‘me’;
how the mind hates to see
how much goes on,
and will go on,
when it is gone.
Can’t rationalize the lack
of its active participation,
a bulwark
unto itself.

All rights reserved.  Karin Gustafson

P.S.  – the above poem is really a draft.  These are always especially hard for me if no formal verse structure, i.e. sonnet, villanelle, pantoum, is involved.  If anyone has any ideas, let me know.

Categories: Blogging, poetry
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The Downside of a Three-Day Weekend

January 19, 2010

Tuesday Morning

That it’s not four days.

(Check out 1 Mississippi, also by Karin Gustafson, if you like elephants, and sleep.)

Categories: elephants, Stress
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Missed The Kandinsky Show? One More Reason to Leave New York?

January 18, 2010

Wassily Kandinsky, The Garden of Love (Improvisation No. 27), Alfred Stieglitz Collection, The Metropolitan Museum, New York

This weekend, possibly my 1500th weekend in New York City, I asked myself once again whether I should keep living here.  Here’s a bit of the analysis:

Why You Might Leave

1.  The last play you saw (on Broadway or Off) was The Fantasticks.  (Not in revival.)

2.  About 60% of the apartment that you spend about 60% of your disposable income upon is used for storage.

3.  Repeat, in case some of that last bit was unclear:  you spend about (at least) 60% of your disposable income on said apartment.

4.  One of the best things about that income-expending apartment is that it is located in a part of New York City that hardly feels like New York City.

5.  More importantly, you love Kandinsky.  Boy, do you love Kandinsky.  What, the Kandinsky show closed already?  After only 4 months!?

6.  You pride yourself on knowing such esoteric things as the location of the very best public bathrooms in downtown Manhattan.  (The fifth floor of the Surrogate’s Court building.  The cubicle doors are made of real wood with real carved patterns.)

7.   No, you didn’t get to the William Blake show at the Morgan either.  Is it still open?  (You’re too tired earning disposable income for that apartment that you store your stuff in to check.)

8.  The stress of the City has turned you into a vampire junkie. (There’s something about sucked-out lifeblood that really speaks to you.)    Let’s just say that the last movie you went to was not an art film.

Why Stay

1. The last time you drove a car was almost a year ago.  You don’t miss the experience.

2.   You never really get tired of the Kandinskys that are part of the permanent collections of the Met, Modern and Guggenheim.

3.   The Met also has some good Blakes.

4.  The ladies’ room in the Surrogate’s Court building (fifth floor) really is extremely nice.

5. Your apartment has great closets (at least for the City.)

6.   And is below market rates.  Meaning that there are people paying even more for even less. (Question:  does that truly make you feel better?  Answer:  yes.)

7. Besides that, there’s a gym in your building where, every evening, you can read vampire novels while working out on the elliptical machine.  Yes, they are vampire novels, but hey! you’re working out.

8.  More importantly, said apartment is located in a part of New York City that doesn’t feel like New York City, but is in fact a part of  New York City.

9. Where you can walk nearly anywhere.

10.  Even to permanently-hanging Kandinskys.

11.  Aaah.

Categories: New York City, Stress, Uncategorized
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How To Feel Rich, Sensual, Happy, And Free to Turn Off Telethons.

January 17, 2010

Endangered Cheetah Stuffed Animal



Ten Reasons You Should Give To Charity (Haiti and Elsewhere.)

1.  It gives you free (i.e. non-hypocritical) license to make fun of Pat Robertson.

2.  And Brangelina.

3.  It allows you to guiltlessly  switch channels whenever a telethon comes on.  (No matter what stars participate in these events, they always remind me of the boy who was paid $5 to sing, $10 to stop singing.)

4.  It will make you feel good, on a sensual level, and happy, on a satisfaction level.  See e.g.  recent studies cited by Nicholas Kristof in NY Times op-ed, about food, sex and giving.

5.  That satisfaction thing works.  (At least for me.  Whenever I make a charitable donation, I feel immediately less broke.  Actually, I feel immediately kind of rich.)

6.  On the sensual level, you can do it in the middle of the night.  In the privacy of your own home.

7.  You can avoid that embarrassing silence that follows your accountant’s question, while computing your income tax deductions–“charitable giving?”

8.  The range of options as to how you spend money allotted to charitable gifts is even greater than those offered by Amazon–Haiti, rainforests, girls’ schools in Pakistan, a llama for a family in Bolivia, Jane Goodall’s chimpanzees….

9.  Some charities will even send you a stuffed animal.

10.  A personification of the warm fuzzies.

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