ManicDDaily

In the blues of Sunday evening, I looked up two conflicting articles in the blogosphere.  Both about you know who.  (Hint—it’s not Voldemort.)

They present an interesting contrast.  One is from an internet site called Irish Central, which has never liked Robert Pattinson because of all the attention he (inadvertently) stole from the Irish actor, Pierce Brosnan, in the filming of Remember Me in New York this past summer.   Irish Central had a few articles back then (i) comparing the relative virtues of RPatz and Brosnan –you can guess who came out ahead, and (ii) saying how much friendlier Brosnan was to fans.  (Of course, Brosnan was not the guy who was grabbed from every direction, chased into collisions with taxi cabs, and forced to stand in a seven foot high box during breaks in the on-street filming.)

In this weekend’s Irish Central article, focusing on bestselling Halloween masks (presumably in Ireland), the Central reports, snarkily, that the mask of the “pretty boy” vampire isn’t even in the top ten.  It goes on to mock Rob: “if your halloween mask won’t sell, what kind of horror film movie star are you?”

Irish Central bases its snarkiness on one major misapprehension—the Twilight films aren’t horror films, they are romances.  Since when do romantic heroes sell Halloween masks?

Never.  What romantic heroes apparently sell at Halloween (or distribute in large numbers free of charge) are pumpkin stencils!  I learned this from another, much smaller, internet site called Huliq, which reports on the popularity of free downloadable pumpkin stencils of RPatz as Edward Cullen.  (You know the pose–it’s the same one used on the RPatz shower curtain–he looks angry/determined with criss-crossing eyebrows, and puffed- up hair.)

I took a look at these stencils, and frankly, you’d have to have the manual dexterity of Michelangelo to carve one into a pumpkin.  (Although the directions helpfully suggest using toothpicks to hold the bridge of the nose in place.)

Which brings up another mistake in Irish Central’s whole put-down of RPatz.  Who even wears big rubber cover-your-whole face Halloween masks?  Not young women.  Not ‘tween girls.  Not even older, weird, women.   Not, in other words, Pattinson’s primary fan base.

But who, one wonders, carves Robert Pattinson pumpkin faces?

Simple!  People who want to win a Rob-O-Lantern contest!

What a world/internet.
P.S. If you want help with elephant-o-lanterns, check out 1 Mississippi by Karin Gustafson on link above or at Amazon.