To refudiate or not to refudiate, that is the question.
Uh…what is the question?
(Unfortunately, no one who likes her will care.)
My husband and I have an ongoing argument about a universal human sleep standard. He insists that people–all people–need many many hours of sleep for even minimal efficiency; I counter with the variable sleep needs of different people (citing myself among those who need little); I talk about the efficiency of having extra time to do things in (even if that extended time is burdened with some level of fatigue.)
Sometimes, however, I find that I really do not function all that well without sleep. Some hints:
Increasingly I realize that I really don’t own my body; if anything, my body owns me.
I don’t use the word “ownership” to refer to title, so much as in the Pedro Martinez sense of “who’s your daddy?” i.e. who dominates.
I use the word “me” in the sense of personality/soul/ what makes me lively, gloomy, manic, depressed, loving; what makes up my understanding of myself. I suppose a philosophical type would think of “me” as the “watcher”; that part of my brain which observes everything, including, sometimes, itself.
My first conscious memory of my body’s overriding vote in matters of self-image is from my childhood, hearing my voice on audio tape. Back then, it came in big brown reels; it was slick, difficult to manage. (The old tape recorders remind me of slippery sewing machines, except that they used brown tape instead of thread and tried to stitch a past moment into the present one.)
Agh! My voice sounded like a baby’s. A baby’s. When it came on, I was mortified, crushed, had to leave the room. I had imagined myself to sound sophisticated, an echo of Julie Andrews. That babyfied voice could not be me, and yet I knew that it was.
These older days, I have the surprise that my body is not “me” every single time I look in the mirror, every time I hear my voice on an answering machine. There’s always a small second of surprise, sometimes even shock, absolute non-self-recognition. Worst of all, every time I get familiar (which does not happen much), it changes; the body refuses to stay put, pat, in place. (It droops, it sags, it grows, it bags.)
My surprise at my body is one way in that it continually tells me that I’m not its daddy (or mommy). This doesn’t even begin to address the problem of what the body feels like:the lungs that are suddenly winded, the hips that want to sit down, the eyes that just won’t focus properly.
All that complaining! And I’m not even someone who actually suffers physical pain. In that case, the body would really take up the reins.
The good news, I guess, is that when Pedro Martinez taunted the Yankees with the question of who their Daddy was, he went on to lose badly and to be taunted right back.
My body is not really Pedro. (Somehow I know I should bring up George Steinbrenner here, but just can’t.) And I don’t truly want to taunt it, or to cause it to lose anything (except perhaps a few pounds.) Still, it would be nice to see the taunted sometimes come out on top; for the “me” in this case to suddenly feel some identification with itself.
It only happens every once in a while, sometimes even when you hardly think about it, when, for example, you are just walking, simply walking along.
I was one of the few people lucky (or unlucky) enough not to need to actually watch the World Cup Final soccer in order to know that Spain would win.
This was not because of my confidence in the wonderful Spanish team’s ability to maintain elegant possession of the ball despite the relative shortness of their players (my not-tall husband’s pre-game desire), or because of any particular hope that the day would be saved by the extremely good looks of several members of the Spanish team (my daughter’s post-game view, most notably with regard to Jesus Naves and team captain and goalkeeper,Iker Casillas), or some wish, of my own, to see that the players that weren’t kicked in the chest would triumph.
No, my certainty of Spain’s victory resulted completely from my confidence in octopi, particularly the soothsaying Octopus Paul, a/k/a the “Oracle of Oberhausen” (named for the town in Germany in which his aquarium is located.) A day or so before the game, Paul once again (for the eighth recorded time) exercised his psychic mussel errr…muscle to successfully pick Spain as the winner of the final match. (What makes Paul’s foresight especially unusual among predictors of the future is that he picked the winners BEFORE the games occurred, and didn’t simply tell us about how right he was after the fact.)
The Dutch, on first hearing of Paul’s prediction, were justifiably downcast until some enterprising Dutch reporter found a competing soothsayer—a parakeet in Singapore.
But I, for one, knew that wouldn’t fly.
Parakeets simply don’t have the grasp of octopi, the breadth, the reach, the slithery coordination—
And let’s just suppose this isn’t all a statistical anomaly, a lucky guess—(could Paul have some tentacular hooks in ensuring the outcomes he predicts? Could there be something fishy, as it were, going on in FIFAland?)
All I can say is eight for eight!
(And thank goodness the game wasn’t decided on penalty kicks! A deciding factor that can seem almost as arbitrary as, well, the choice of a cephalopod.)
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