After You’ve Been Suddenly Sick
After You’ve Been Suddenly Sick
This morning’s moon’s a miracle
like the stone rolled away
from the tomb,
like a stone rolled
to the crest of a hill so high
that my own private Sisyphus sighs,
exhaling opalescent wonder.
Light reflected from who knows when
shines brighter
than the freshest egg blue
and when I say to you,
“come see, if you feel well enough,”
you are beside me,
lithe, shining, and warm, as always, when wrested
from a deep sleep, a miracle,
and the stone
that can sometimes be my heart
catches that light from above
and from my side, and grows smooth
around its edges, like the word
“promise.”
*******************************
Here’s a poem posted very belatedly for Izzy Gruye’s prompt on With Real Toads to write a poem about the moon that doesn’t mention normal sky words. (I’m not sure I’ve actually done it here.)
I am also linking this to dVerse Poets Pub Open Link Night
Explore posts in the same categories: poetry, UncategorizedTags: "After You've Been Suddenly Sick", love poem to husband who's been ill, manicddaily, moonshine in the morning, this morning's moon
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ManicDDaily 
August 24, 2013 at 3:18 am
This has a warm, natural-feeling flow to it, k, and yet it doesn’t sacrifice a bit of craft–everything feels balanced and ‘right’ in the language, so that the mood and feeling just shine. The first two lines so declarative and alliterative, put us there in the window, and ‘roll’ us along with them, with the recurring metaphor of the stone being very speaking all the way to the end. I hope your husband is feeling better. So good to have your poetry back.
August 24, 2013 at 4:58 am
Thanks. Fixed first line a bit. He is better. K.
August 24, 2013 at 5:27 am
I love the repetition of the stone imagery. And yes, I think you managed to avoid sky words — or tormenting the moon in general.
Great opening line, too: “This morning’s moon’s a miracle.” Unexpected on so many levels, like the variations on the stone.
August 24, 2013 at 7:35 am
there is relief in this for me…the rounding of those edges, the miracle each day of waking up to life…in the comfort of knowing all is well if only for one more day…esp after feeling sick or not feeling well…glad he is better.
August 27, 2013 at 4:50 pm
hiya k….smiles.
August 27, 2013 at 4:57 pm
Hiya Bri! I should have warned you you’d seen it. Very busy last couple of days and thought this one a better fit for OLN than the bailbondsman! k.
August 24, 2013 at 11:01 am
This is an awesome poem – in the true sense of the word. The thought process which went into the end result is intelligent and sensitive. This is one of the best examples of poetry I have read in months.
August 24, 2013 at 11:34 am
Thanks so much, Kerry. I keep playing with the first line – I had “This morning’s moon’s a miracle,” which is a bit of a stumble, but I kind of like whole sentence rather than “This morning’s moon a miracle,” so may go back to that. Thanks very much for your kind words – I sometimes feel like I edit things into submission making them worse and worse and worse-and this was one that felt like that for a while when I was thinking about it, but then I sort of started fresh again, and it felt better. k.
August 24, 2013 at 12:08 pm
oh what a lovely write for your hubs…did you read it to him..? it’s like heaven on earth that first day of feeling better after an illness..
August 24, 2013 at 12:27 pm
I did read it to him. He liked it–but is biased! Thanks, Claudia.
August 24, 2013 at 9:33 pm
Healing is always such a beautiful promise. I’m glad he found it. The poem has a very natural sounding flow to it, very graceful.
August 25, 2013 at 3:32 pm
A true Watermark of writing !
August 25, 2013 at 3:47 pm
Thanks so much, Deb. I hope YOU are feeling better. K.
August 27, 2013 at 4:40 pm
I was impressed by lines 2-5 of your poem. I’m so glad you did that. It got the poem really going for me. I felt like a kid on a piece of cardboard sliding down a grassy hillside. The rest was just a treat.
August 27, 2013 at 5:51 pm
Ah, it is always nice when one who has been sick turns the corner and evidences that he is once again WELL. I liked the first lines of the poem with the mention of the stone rolled away; and the word ‘promise’ is the perfect ending.
August 27, 2013 at 6:06 pm
A love song that’s true, not gooey or romantic, or full of soap suds and day dreams but of love fulfilled and nurturing. Lovely.
August 27, 2013 at 7:52 pm
This is so special and beautiful. Glad that your hubby is better. I’m sure the recovery will be quick if you keep writing such wonderful poems. I really enjoye this one – the smoothing of the edges on the stone – lovely.
August 27, 2013 at 8:30 pm
Thanks so much, Myrna. K.
August 27, 2013 at 7:57 pm
OK….. That’s just simply beautiful…… all cute little elephants and kiddie stuff aside, (momentarily, ) this poem is incredibly grown up and touching. Truly, really enjoyed this and how far are the boundaries of the Miss Manic that I know? This poem makes them seem endless. Keep doing this please……
and the stone
that can sometimes be my heart
catches that light from above
and from my side, and grows smooth
around its edges, like the word
“promise.”
wow!
August 27, 2013 at 8:30 pm
Thank you, John. Hope all is well with you. K.
August 27, 2013 at 8:36 pm
shines brighter
than the freshest egg blue
a lovely image, gazing out the window, together…
August 27, 2013 at 10:25 pm
such wonderful poetry and meaning in tune. the title caught me tightly early and opened me up to your words which truly feel their way into something significant to say.
that my own private Sisyphus sighs,
exhaling opalescent wonder.
real power in these words and I am ultimately left feeling stronger or defiantly affected for the reading
August 28, 2013 at 12:18 am
Thanks so much for your kind words, Arieh. K
August 28, 2013 at 12:53 am
I think you’ve done a lovely job with the prompt 🙂 I really loved it, especially:
“and the stone
that can sometimes be my heart
catches that light from above
and from my side, and grows smooth
around its edges, like the word
“promise.”
yep, that whole thing 🙂
August 28, 2013 at 2:20 am
I loved the way you ended this heartfelt piece of poetry.
August 28, 2013 at 10:17 am
Evocative and powerful. I love the imagery in this well constructed poem.
August 28, 2013 at 11:51 am
ooh, the colour and warmth and texture are lovely here.. and deliver such a powerful emotion. Very much enjoyed this K
August 28, 2013 at 3:14 pm
warm and evocative. I like the first line ‘morning’s moon is a miracle..sets the tone beautifully
August 28, 2013 at 3:37 pm
I can feel the murkiness of illness slipping away with Sisyphus taking a break, that opalescent breath. Thank goodness for that shining moon.
August 28, 2013 at 6:40 pm
Lovely sentiments here, and you have done a beautiful job achieving a writing without “sky” words. Beautifully penned. “Promise” and “hope,” hold on tight to these!
August 28, 2013 at 6:50 pm
Great poem. So true the wonderful feeling when you finally feel better after being sick. Happy he is feeling better.
August 28, 2013 at 7:36 pm
Karin, such lovely lines in this. I am glad your husband is feeling better, It stinks to feel bad and it is worse to see our loved ones feel that way.. It is also nice to see you at dVerse. It seems like a long time.
Pamela
August 28, 2013 at 8:32 pm
A lovely poem about healing and the last few lines were amazing and I hope promise always grows.
August 29, 2013 at 9:16 am
I really like how you move the stone here, K.
August 31, 2013 at 7:48 pm
It is all beautiful to read but esp., those first 7 lines – heavenly.
August 31, 2013 at 8:36 pm
Hi Debi – thanks so much. I will be happy to check out your blog if you send me the URL. k.