ManicDDaily

Enjoying What's There

The other day I wrote about not waiting for “unalloyed” enjoyment.    The idea, more or less, was not to be distracted by the proverbial “fly in the ointment” but to try to conjure up your own “fly-free ointment” – something that would allow you to whoosh above all the pettiness that blocks appreciation.

I am frankly not terribly good at this.  My eye (and heart too, I suppose) hook onto almost any deficiency.  Contentment is not just marred by a fly in the ointment, but by the idea of flies, even, perhaps, by the need for ointments.

But right now I’m sitting on a flight to Florida–actually I’m sitting on a plane that is, in turn, sitting on a runway, hopefully, aimed for Florida.  Something that seems like an emergency is going on in my family.  Weakness happens.

It’s an amazingly sunny day outside the lozenge window.  What’s even more amazing is that, in the midst of my worry, I am actually noticing it:   the clouds are elongated for Constable, but might just qualify for Tiepolo;  the blue certainly would.

I was given an aisle seat even though I bought this ticket an extremely short time ago. and lo and behold, the window seat (it’s a two seater) is empty, and now I’ve moved just into the shaft of light there, with plenty of room to sit cross-legged.

I find myself able too to enjoy a certain bizarre satisfaction at the success of ManicD quickness–bag packed, difficult arrangements made, JFK navigated, all with unimagined speed – it turns out that the words “my father’s sick” coupled with boarding pass can get you immediately to the front of the security line.

These are not exactly pleasurable moments; they are, however, the ones that currently encapsulate my experience of time.   And here are these wonders– a plane made, no baby crying, a book in hand, blue sky outside, clouds.