ManicDDaily

Falling Victim To the Martyred Self

Over 11,000 words and I don’t have a super clear story yet, though I have a (sort of) direction, and a sense of viable characters.

Needless to say that a lot of the first 10,000 words have not involved these characters.  The primary characters in those beginning forays were martyred versions of myself.  Even as I was writing about those saintly victims, I knew I could probably not use them.  It’s not just that self-pity seems kind of self-indulgent in print; martyred versions of one’s self tend to be very passive, i.e. because they are victims, they don’t tend to do much; people are just mean to them and they sigh.  Little happens.

All those words, however, did make me think of writing about a time, a place, and an activity that I would never have come up with on my own.  Now, the problem is carrying out.  I’ve only truly begun and already I’m getting tired.   Writing does require a certain energy, and I find that that energy gets dampened by a day at the office.  It takes a considerable amount of dancing, (this is where a huge, but very inexpensive, Fred Astaire album on iTunes comes in handy) to build it up again, and so, by the time I start writing, it is very late at night, if not early in the morning.   (All that web-surfing is also a big drain.)

Okay, okay, more self-pity!  I’m sorry!   (Self-pity also generates a certain kind of energy!!!!)

Glad for the week-end.