On My Bike

IMG_2052

On my bike

The wind held my face
in its hands
in the way a grandmother might smooth
the face of a girl, telling her
she is beautiful–

And though I knew that the wind
had no such hands, and I
have no such face, and that there might not
even be many
such grandmothers,
this much I also knew–that the wind
touched me, the notion of beauty
in its grasp,
and that, when I looked back
into its face,
such face as the wind has,
it whispered, with assurance, you too.  

*******************************

A little found poem, linked nowhere!  Old pic, sorry, though same bike!  This has been edited repeatedly since first posting. 

Process Note – (for any interested) ==I first wrote the poem with the “held” and “clasped” in the first stanza–then switched it to “stroked” (“with”) and “smoothed,” which was first posted version (MZ saw).  I went back to this version as it seemed less redundant to me and also, somehow, the words more unusual in this context.  But certainly any thoughts are welcome.  (I don’t think I’ll change it–for a few minutes anyway–ha–as need to just let it sit a bit.)  

PPS And finally–thanks to Hedgewitch’s comments–I’ve moved to a third version!  k. 

 

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12 Comments on “On My Bike”

  1. Mama Zen Says:

    I wish that I had written this.

  2. hedgewitch Says:

    Great simplicity always clarifies a poem, I think(if it is good) and certainly does so here–a poem of that feeling in the moment that is one of the free-est places as humans we can know. I kind of like the idea of ‘the wind with my face in its hands,’ and smooth seems more gentle than clasp, but I can see that your edit makes the sense more direct, the wind more active rather than passive, which is part of the feel you give here. Anyway, glad you mentioned the changes as it gave me a chance to read it both ways, and this version is quite clean and beautiful.

    • ManicDdaily Says:

      Thanks. Yes, I thought of “held” and “smoothed” and that makes a lot of sense. I did not in the end like stroking with hands, as it seemed so redundant and also a little cliched, but the wind is active in its holding and a grandmother clasping feels a little creepy! I’ll try that version for a while. Anyway, much thanks–k.

  3. Kerry O'Connor Says:

    this much I also knew–that the wind
    touched me, the notion of beauty
    in its grasp…

    Such lovely words, Karin. They will remain in my thoughts for a good long while.

  4. M Says:

    as Hedge notes, there is such a clean line through this. and I’ll echo MZ and Kerry 🙂 ~

  5. X Says:

    I dont find it redundant, as much as it feels like layers building upon each other. I really could use a bike ride. I went for a 7 mile walk yesterday and was passed by many riders. I like the thought of the wind holding the face like a gramma. Which is tender in my book.

  6. Jamie Dedes Says:

    Short story: It works. I like the visual and the romance of the wind as grandmother’s hands. Lovely.


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