Her Body Soon Following After (Heat-Seeking in 55)
Her Body Soon Followed After (A Heat-Seeking Missive)
Her nose fell first, head over heel,
his smell of warmth so strong,
the opening of his elbow
a window to a long
sun’s day,
his ribs a heated clay
that no
other kiln could fire,
his loins a hearth she could feel
even from afar.
***********************
Here’s a 55 (including the title, which some might feel has been deliberately lengthened) inspired by both the inimitable G-Man and Kerry O’Connor’s prompt on With Real Toads. Kerry has given the added challenge of using a Robert Herrick style form for the poem. Kerry suggested breaking up the Herrick lines by a word count, which would equal 55, but I’ve gone for a syllabic count, which is why my poem needed such a long title. (Ha.)
The pic doesn’t really go with it, but since I’m still away from home, using what I can!
Explore posts in the same categories: elephants, poetry, UncategorizedTags: A nose only has one heel doesn't it?, Heat-Seeking in 55, Herrick stanza, manicddaily, Nose Fell First Head Over Heel
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ManicDDaily 
January 31, 2015 at 12:26 pm
oh my….intriguing to me that it was scent that started it…
there is something primal in that…
i also like the kiln ref…ha….cool intimacy generated in this k
January 31, 2015 at 1:28 pm
I love it, Karin (especially the pic of your two ellies). Love thoughts are comfort when one is fare from home – good to feel the heat.
January 31, 2015 at 2:25 pm
oyoyoy… nice heat in this… and i totally understand the being drawn to someone in the first time because of the smell
January 31, 2015 at 3:51 pm
Having played with it all day,(and now reading this) I have decided this is a very weird but pleasing form, and when written in free verse(though yours is rhymed I belatedly notice)–it works really nicely at giving a cadenced and lyric touch to the normally arbitrary rhythms. This is a warm, heart-full and very feral poem, and the form makes it romantically so…or so I read.
January 31, 2015 at 10:41 pm
Yes, meant to be romantic in a way, and, being me, silly too. Thanks. It is an interesting form. I am very syllabic in my approach to meter, so felt more comfortable counting things out on that basis rather than as words, or stresses. But it is kind of fun to have those super short lines in the midst of it all. k.
January 31, 2015 at 10:42 pm
ps –the rhyme becomes fairly subtle, I think, since some of the lines aren’t that close. k.
January 31, 2015 at 5:47 pm
This is intimate, clever, and fun. I really like this.
January 31, 2015 at 6:10 pm
The power of scent…love the intimacy & warmth in the end ~ Well played with verses K ~
February 1, 2015 at 7:58 am
Scent and heat.. the power of pheromones. I love the word kiln, it has a special way of talking of heat. I kind of like the syllable version…though I did it with words. Word counted limitations of forms is quite a challenge, so having a long title makes sense (and in that case my piece was too long)
February 1, 2015 at 9:56 am
Sensual! From nose to the skin of each toe…
February 1, 2015 at 4:58 pm
What a great piece. I’ve been messing about with the form and rhyme most of the day, and finally gave up and just did 55. Kudos to you!
February 1, 2015 at 10:08 pm
Well, thanks, Other Mary. I really enjoy working with syllables and rhyme–a much harder time thinking in terms of word count. I look forward to checking yours out. k.
February 1, 2015 at 6:17 pm
Don’t elephants mate for life? Now we know why!
February 1, 2015 at 10:07 pm
Ha! Thanks, Mary. k.
February 2, 2015 at 1:07 am
I think you answered the challenge with astonishing deftness. This is a great poem and I swear I think the drawing of elephants really belongs here with it. As we work to save elephants your poem does a service to educating that they love as deeply as we do (and perhaps even more). I think this is a profound coupling of verse and illustration.
February 2, 2015 at 9:41 am
Love this, Karin. It’s cute and wonderful.
I found this form very difficult using word-count and really prefer the syllable count, which (to me) makes for a better sound and rhythm, as yours demonstrates.
February 2, 2015 at 3:28 pm
Yes, love how you did syllable count. This is so warm and fuzzy. I needed it. I have been in a little snitty. 🙂
February 2, 2015 at 4:43 pm
“his loins a hearth she could feel even from afar.” Absolutely beautiful. Thanks.
Greetings from London.
February 2, 2015 at 6:13 pm
Sounds like a call of the wild!
February 3, 2015 at 12:59 am
The syllable count worked well for you, k. I generally use that also except for the flash stuff. I did the rhyme but not the words/line because of time constraints (we are also not home).
The picture was appropriate as they are more attracted to smell tan are humans. Humans are affected though by the effect of pheromones. 🙂
..
February 4, 2015 at 3:00 am
missive / missile 🙂 ~
February 4, 2015 at 1:45 pm
Someone really has a bunch of desire wrapped up inside. Well written.