Cut – Friday Flash 55
Cut
You justified coldness
as kind, and so, looked through me,
your body all back.
I remembered that, tonight,
identifying crow tracks
in the snow, not
the forked tread of crows’ feet–
the spread pleats
of wings,
slits in the white crust,
the featherweight push
of take-off.
How can we be
so cruel
in love?
**************************
Here’s a draft poem–I don’t really have it right–but it IS 55 words, so please go tell the G-Man.
The picture–if you can make it out–are the indentation of crows’ wings in the snow–you can see marks of feet to the side (not the true tracks of the feet though–but where it pushed off). If the pic doesn’t come out in your browser, please click on it, as it is kind of cool.
Explore posts in the same categories: country life, poetry, UncategorizedTags: anti-love poem, crow wing tracks in the snow, estrangement poem, Friday Flash 55, manicddaily, what makes those slits?
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ManicDDaily 
January 31, 2014 at 8:15 pm
Powerful analogy. The pain is palpable.
January 31, 2014 at 8:19 pm
Such a vividly painful place—
January 31, 2014 at 8:32 pm
It is a very cool picture. Cool poem too. I have wondered the same thing, myself, so many times.
January 31, 2014 at 9:10 pm
The tracks of leaving are always there somewhere–the phrase about being all back is so eloquent–there’s no pleading or reasoning with a retreating spine. Striking photo, too, K.
January 31, 2014 at 9:32 pm
ouch on the last statement/question….
is that really the mark of wings? cool…but the leaving
in the poem, another ouch…
i wonder sometimes at what we call love….
January 31, 2014 at 10:32 pm
Yes– they are the marks of wings on both sides. So cool, right?
>
January 31, 2014 at 10:18 pm
Karin
It may not be right for you
But for me it’s perfect!
And like I’ve told you before
You have Free-Reign to write whatever
Loved your chilly 55
Thank you my friend for your fantastic support. I’m very honored
Have a Kick Ass Week End
February 1, 2014 at 3:16 am
no snow here so crows leave mcdonalds wrappers instead.
well, love *is* a 4 letter word ~
February 1, 2014 at 7:26 am
This is a wonderful composition and an effortless analogy. You sketch an outline here in your few words, yet all of the meanings are evident and complete within in. Very moving and polished. Excellent.
February 1, 2014 at 2:47 pm
Thanks so much–I am slow returning comment today because doing dVerse Prompt, but will be around. k.
February 1, 2014 at 4:33 pm
Based on your mention, I picked up a copy of Pale Fire. I’m only thirty or so pages in, but it’s fascinating and, as you would expect, exquisitely composed. It looks like it’s going to be fun. Steve K.
February 1, 2014 at 4:42 pm
Oh good. So glad that you like it. k.
February 1, 2014 at 4:43 pm
ps – working on dVerse thing so still not doing full commenting–trying to get poem up for my post. k.
February 1, 2014 at 6:09 pm
Indeed, why we use cruelty in love I will never understand– this piece really conveys the bitter pain. Thanks for sharing ~peace, Jason
February 1, 2014 at 6:21 pm
What you describe, of course, is the feeling of being subjected to hatred. It really hurts. And maybe that is why we never really pin point the basics of evil.
That picture, by the way, is lovely. It really shows the traces of a crow having got cold feet.
February 2, 2014 at 11:18 am
“how can you be so cruel in love?”
i wish i had an answer to that. Fine piece, Karen.
February 2, 2014 at 2:39 pm
Thanks, Mohana. k.