The Ballad of Zeus, Hera, and Our Bodies Ourselves
Zeus Giving Birth to Athena, as Elephant (Ouch!)
Ballad of Zeus, Hera and Our Bodies Ourselves
So when Hera, she was ragging,
I turned to her and said–
Can’t take this women’s lib talk
from a deity I’ve wed.
All day over ambrosia,
all night over retsina,
you whine about the female
and the way that males demean ‘er!
Choice? I said. You’re a goddess!
And by they way you got those pills?
you know the ones the humans use–
I think they’re called Advils.
‘Cause my head hurts something beastly–
oh sure, all men are swine.
But this hubby needs his Ledas
and a swan is not porcine.
But–ugh–my head is splitting
and swelling up so big,
cramping and contorting
hard as Jagger at a gig–
Help, Hera! Help me, Sweetie–
What? Don’t forget to breathe?
Is that all you’re gonna tell me
when my brain’s bursting its sheathe!
What’s this? Wah wah! A baby?
Oh God–(that’s me)–but Hell–
Okay, her toes are very cute,
but my head don’t feel so well.
I can hear Poseidon’s chortle–
Hades’ quake like a jelly roll
served up on a vibration plate
in his most shallow hole–
What’s brought me this wee darling?
That Titaness I ate?
I never thought just swallowing
could put me in this state!
I mean, I’m still that big strong guy
with thunder under thumb–
but could ya’ help me with the diapers,
you little honey bun?
**********************
This is supposed to be in a ballad form for the wonderful prompt by Tony Maude over at dVerse Poets Pub, and also a soliloquy of Zeus for the wonderful prompt by Kerry O’Connor at With Real Toads. Kerry asks us to impersonate a deity in modern times.
The scene takes place as Zeus is about to deliver Athena from his forehead. Zeus, although paired to Hera, was quite the Lothario. His lovers included Metis, one of the original Titan gods who was expected by soothsayers to have two children by Zeus, first, a girl and then a boy who was destined, if he lived, to overturn Zeus. In order to beat the prophecy, Zeus swallowed Metis, but after he had impregnated her with Athena. Athena was subsequently born through Zeus’s forehead.
In order to stick with my strengths, I’ve portrayed Athena as an elephant.
Explore posts in the same categories: elephants, poetry, UncategorizedTags: Ballad form, Ballad of Zeus, Hera and Our Bodies Ourselves, Hera-pecked Zeus Poem, manicddaily, the modern Zeus, Zeus delivering Athena poem, Zeus giving birth to elephant
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ManicDDaily 
September 19, 2013 at 10:15 pm
First of all, the drawing is fabulously funny. I love it. I think one glance and it is emblazoned on my brain. And I enjoyed the poem too. Well done on all counts … a definite rise to the challenges, K. Bravo!
September 19, 2013 at 10:20 pm
Thanks. I have to confess that it’s an older drawing as I’ve been quite busy, and I copied the face from a Zeus at the Met. I may have made him more comic on my own, but best to get straight from the source (or a museum.) Thanks much. k .
September 20, 2013 at 10:26 am
It’s a zeus sculpture, I think–you know from the new Greek and Roman galleries–you’ve probably been, but they are quite wonderful–if you haven’t, I highly recommend.
September 19, 2013 at 10:15 pm
Loved it! Especially the last stanza and Jagger at a gig – well done!
September 19, 2013 at 10:23 pm
Haha, I like how you stuck with your strength.
September 19, 2013 at 10:24 pm
Thanks, David. Better at elephants than goddesses. k.
September 19, 2013 at 10:27 pm
I love your personalization of the myth, and the elephant baby goddess is just a perfect top off to a fun poem.
September 19, 2013 at 11:01 pm
very cool take on the myth k. – love the pic as well… and if we mess with fate..ha..strange things happen sometimes.. thanks for the smile
September 19, 2013 at 11:30 pm
that’s priceless, k! the drawing, the verse – perfect!
September 19, 2013 at 11:36 pm
Love it..everything from drawing to verse…especially the way you ended it!!
September 19, 2013 at 11:41 pm
Wonderful to read-it had the enchantment of legend, with your special insight! Fun to read 😀
September 20, 2013 at 12:09 am
Athena as a elephant’s a grand idea.
September 20, 2013 at 2:45 am
I love to see your little elephant leaping fully-formed from Zeus’s brow. The narrative voice is sterling! I still can’t help thinking the old man got what he deserved.
September 20, 2013 at 2:55 am
Brilliant k. The drawing, the ballad, the storytelling – what a delight … smiles
September 20, 2013 at 8:21 am
Thanks, Tony, and thanks so much for the inspiration of Jonah! And your very informative prompt. k.
September 20, 2013 at 3:42 am
Brilliant use of form and story.
September 20, 2013 at 4:06 am
Oh well done K. Love the drawing!
Anna :o]
September 20, 2013 at 7:50 am
Very, very deep write! Too bad, the ending though he just got out of rehab again recently. mmm. The first stanza, no wonder, lack of respect, huh? Duh…what a movement.
September 20, 2013 at 8:39 am
I enjoyed this one..weaving myth with a modern twist and the picture made me smile…
September 20, 2013 at 9:41 am
Delightful read K ~ Enjoyed the conversation and drawing of elephant growing out of Z’s head ~
September 20, 2013 at 9:49 am
Thanks, Grace. k.
On Fri, Sep 20, 2013 at 10:41 AM, ManicDDaily
September 20, 2013 at 10:16 am
You’re killin me here, k. Demented, delirious and delightful–and great use of form as well. Who could ask for more?
September 20, 2013 at 10:17 am
Unfortunately, demented is probably my strong suit. k.
September 22, 2013 at 1:19 pm
You know what they say–if you have crazy, you have everything. ;_)
September 22, 2013 at 1:24 pm
Ha! (I will have to keep that one in mind.) k.
September 20, 2013 at 10:39 am
What a trip! Fun, fun, fun….of course, Zeus may not see the humor in it, so watch out for flying thunderbolts.
September 20, 2013 at 12:53 pm
So fun.. form picture and content… poor Zeus he didn’t quite master that trip to our time
September 20, 2013 at 1:22 pm
I chortle too! Never has Zeus so clearly given birth! What fun!
September 20, 2013 at 3:24 pm
fantastic! the elephant in your drawing really caught me off guard, which was a great way to start reading this rollicking ballad. you’ve nailed the form with humor, myth, and quirk. (and Jagger!!) great read, karin.
September 20, 2013 at 6:48 pm
Thank you, Jane, for our kind comment.
September 20, 2013 at 8:14 pm
Most unique humor! Sharp execution and colliding of tales & the present! However, Expected, you’re the best! Faithfully D
September 20, 2013 at 8:15 pm
Ha! You are too kind. Hope all is well, dear Deb. k.
September 20, 2013 at 9:40 pm
I enjoyed reading your poem especially since I just read the other day, in my son’s history book, about the birth of Athena. I can imagine Zeus doing this exact same rant and Hera’s triumphant “Now, you know how it feels to be a woman.” 🙂
September 20, 2013 at 11:51 pm
Absolutely delightful! LOL
September 21, 2013 at 4:24 am
Interesting mythology and a ballad story! This an education! Great take, K!
Hank
September 24, 2013 at 8:04 am
Somehow, I can’t work up much pity for him. Excellently told!