“Temper” (Sedoka)
Cast Iron Pan
Temper
Words pop like mustard
seeds in a fry pan, skitter
across a cast iron will.
Even heavy heart
can’t damp the heat, skillet words
cast by a crossed iron will.
*******************
The above is an attempted sedoka – not the numbers puzzle (my first impression!) but a Japanese poem based on a two stanzas with a syllabic count of 5-7-7. For more, check out the inspiring article by Samuel Peralta on dVerse Poets Pub.
(Sorry for the re-use of older image.)
Explore posts in the same categories: poetryTags: cast iron will, http://dVersepoets.com, iron-frying-pan-poem, manicddaily, ManicDDaily watercolor, Sedoku poem, You go your way I'll go mine even though I don't want to
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June 20, 2013 at 10:42 pm
Wonderful description of anger…hot and staccato!
June 20, 2013 at 10:55 pm
ouch…this is a very visual description…and the angry words tend to pop out of the pan and burn each other’s skin.. it needs much wisdom to cool them down again…
June 20, 2013 at 11:41 pm
begs to be spoken loudly. snap, crackle, and pop! ~ M
June 21, 2013 at 4:17 am
a cast iron will.. and skillet what strong contrast here.. Really injoyed this… you paint a personality in very few words…. Happy midsummer.
June 21, 2013 at 6:11 am
Love the use of sounds popping in the skillet and kitchen imagery K ~ So well done ~
June 21, 2013 at 6:33 am
nice…i like the use of mustard seeds….and pairing that with our will…and cast iron will at that…it sets a nice tension between faith and will power…..very cool take k…
June 21, 2013 at 7:27 am
Another striking exhibition of juxtaposition, I’ve seen presented in this sedoka prompt !! crackling with intensity, enjoyed this !!
Love “skillet words”, do they come sunny side up? R
June 21, 2013 at 7:27 am
Wow… this is wonderful.
June 21, 2013 at 7:47 am
Very original image–it’s so perfectly accurate. Great writing!
June 21, 2013 at 7:53 am
felt the movement in this… i didn’t know you could write something so short… LOL
June 21, 2013 at 9:55 am
Ha. You are right. Usually a sonnet is my short form. k.
June 21, 2013 at 8:38 am
Oh!! Nice one, Karen 🙂
June 21, 2013 at 9:53 am
Thanks, Mohana. k.
June 21, 2013 at 11:00 am
A very vivid(and accurate) metaphor for the way things heat up, and the way words just skitter and pop when we use them in that particular skillet. Laughin at the sedoka/suduku confusion–my first thought on seeing that word, also.
June 21, 2013 at 12:37 pm
I could feel this one. Love the descriptions you chose, Karin.
June 21, 2013 at 12:58 pm
Thanks, Victoria. Hope all well with you. k.
June 21, 2013 at 12:53 pm
I’m a huge fan of surprising metaphors – and as metaphors for anger goes, this is astonishing. A beautiful conception, visual, olfactory and auditory at the same time.
June 21, 2013 at 12:55 pm
Thanks so much, Sam. k.
June 21, 2013 at 12:59 pm
It probably means more to people who’ve cooked with mustard seeds – sounds like you have! Thanks for the cool form. You must do a lot of research to find these – difficult! k .
June 21, 2013 at 5:24 pm
This is great…the seeds…the pan…the cast iron will…great imagery for anger.
June 21, 2013 at 5:28 pm
Great metaphor: very vivid,very evocative. I particularly love the play of words/meaning in your 3rd and 6th lines.
June 21, 2013 at 7:54 pm
Oh this is so on the money! If one has ever been on the receiving end of those words popping out of an angry mouth, this rings so true. Especially loves the last line!Sedoka -A Summer Love Poem
June 21, 2013 at 9:35 pm
This is fantastic! I don’t even know where to start… the word play is phenomenal. On the first tercet, the line breaks work so well. Words pop like mustard seeds in a fry pan… wow! The theme’s variations are superb- cast iron pan’s will, words cast by a crossed iron will…. skillet words, words popping in the cast iron skillet… this is just amazing. One of the best I’ve read on this prompt. -Mike
June 21, 2013 at 10:56 pm
Thanks so much, Mike.
June 21, 2013 at 9:54 pm
Great juxtaposition of the stanza end lines. The metaphor makes me smile.