At Cross Purposes
At Cross Purposes
My points, to you, seem hollow,
faux arguments, foe arguments,
spent shells of zero caliber–
fibber blanks that might nonetheless
mess up all that you hold dear
(fear mainly, rage–of course, stuff–
toughness). It’s rough how this world,
swirled in a rifling that won’t be aimed,
lames us, though both want it to behave,
be saved. You imagine your self
pure self – there at the ready,
steady-handed–while I’m not sure
your bullet will hit its mark,
parking its lead instead in my
bystander’s heart, or another–
mother, brother, neighbor, son–
one of our own, ’cause you and me–
we–for all our lingo–stock, cocked,
locked–ram into a single barrel,
peril, sorrow, recoil–
**********************************
Here’s a double-barreled sort of poem (draft) responding both to the dVerse Poets Pub Prompt hosted by the far-ranging Fred Rutherford relating to writing in foreign languages, and to the Real Toads prompt hosted by the wonderful Hedgewitch (Joy Anne Jones) on chained rhyme. Both have written super interesting articles with great original poems. Check them out.
(The foreign language here, for me, is gun talk. Chained rhyme is a form where the last word of each line rhymes with the first word of the next. Sort of, in my case.)
Explore posts in the same categories: poetry, UncategorizedTags: "At Cross Purposes', don't get the gun lingo poem, gun control poem, iPad art, locked cocked poem, Msnicddaily, what we can't seem to listen to when we talk about guns
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ManicDDaily 
January 19, 2013 at 7:34 pm
It’s rough how this world,
swirled in a rifling that won’t be aimed,
lames us….great line….and really a vicious close on this as well…those last 3-4 lines just rip….
January 19, 2013 at 7:43 pm
What a neat form and look at you, slipping into gun talk with such ease. Do you suppose, in a previous life…?
January 19, 2013 at 8:12 pm
Ha! Don’t think so. k.
January 19, 2013 at 7:59 pm
I don`t speak “gun”, sighing happy
January 19, 2013 at 8:19 pm
i’m not sure your bullet will hit it’s mark, that’s what people are scared of with people who have guns
Bichon Frise
January 19, 2013 at 8:24 pm
lots of interesting lines here. really like the chained aspect, may have to head on over to toads if I get some time later on. You said it would be different and as usual, you don’t disappoint. Love that about your writing. Thanks for sharing tonight Karin.
January 19, 2013 at 8:40 pm
Thanks, Fred! It’s not so different = but you know not in a true foreign language. It was a very good prompt – and I thought of other alternatives, but I had to go with my particular mood of the day. Thanks. k.
January 19, 2013 at 9:10 pm
Wow, I’d have believed gun talk to be your first language, if you hadn’t said…
Well done. You aced this challenge!
K
January 19, 2013 at 9:18 pm
Fred always does great prompts, I’ll have to go check his out. As far as the chain rhyme aspect, you’ve done everything with it I hoped people would try–first to use it in free verse, which you did masterfully, and then to play around with more/different/other ways to resonate the repeating syllables, which you also did so well it comes off as pure sound, no form visible, which is always the test of a great form poem, to me. And I can see that ‘gun’ is a foreign language–despite that you pulled in a lot of vocabulary that made it all too authentic–brian has quoted some of the power lines, but I also liked the caliber/fibber sequence that precedes it–really a strong section of the poem. Then, with ‘my bystander’s heart’ you make the close a knockout–or I suppose I should say, a bull’s eye. Really good one, k–provocative and insightful both. Thanks for such a distinctive, intelligent response.
January 19, 2013 at 10:06 pm
Thanks much. I really enjoyed the form. k.
January 19, 2013 at 9:26 pm
Seriously, I love your wordplay with faux and foe! A very clever one.
January 19, 2013 at 9:41 pm
I like the chained rhyme form K, specially these lines
there at the ready,
steady-handed–while I’m not sure
your bullet will hit its mark ~
Good work on both prompts ~
January 19, 2013 at 10:33 pm
I love the inner rhyme of lead/instead and I agree with your other comment-er your close really rocks! Excellent!
January 19, 2013 at 10:49 pm
Thanks, Hannah. k.
January 19, 2013 at 11:09 pm
Very strong gun talk, I love how you weave it together, I have never heard of chain rhyme, I might have to check it out. Still a unique way of looking at language. 🙂
January 20, 2013 at 3:26 am
Yes, I agree with what’s been said by most already, this is a strong poem ~ so powerful ~ ‘… world, / swirled in a rifling that won’t be aimed,/ lames …’ especially provocative ~ gun talk … hadn’t thought about it in that way …
January 20, 2013 at 3:32 am
…so this is how a chained poem is done? I can see quite well the after-effect of everything…how one thought goes & becomes…distinctively superb Karin…as always…smiles…
January 20, 2013 at 3:37 am
’cause you and me–
we–for all our lingo–stock, cocked,
locked–ram into a single barrel,
peril, sorrow, recoil–… just excellent k. and good when gun talk is a foreign language..i wish it was a foreign language to everyone
January 20, 2013 at 4:10 am
great form and rhythm
January 20, 2013 at 4:27 am
Wow! This left me breathless, k. The chained rhyme flows from your mind and pen as effortlessly as water down a mountainside – so natural, and you never lose sight of your argument.
I thought this little section a brilliant example of your art:
… I’m not sure
your bullet will hit its mark,
parking its lead instead in my
bystander’s heart…
January 20, 2013 at 5:52 am
This one just held me mesmerised, Passages like:-
swirled in a rifling that won’t be aimed,
lames us, though both want it to behave,
be saved
I wanted this poam to go on for ever – well, along time!
January 20, 2013 at 8:04 am
This is terrific, Karin. I am very impressed with the way you used the words in this poem. The beginning and end rhyme, internal rhyme, just word choices…period. And Kerry said it left her breathless. Me too. I kept reading faster and faster. I am going to try to find time today to try this form!
January 20, 2013 at 8:33 am
Wonderfully done! You explored a serious subject with great poetic flow and sensitivity.
January 20, 2013 at 10:02 am
yikes, your words get to barrelling by the end. whoosh!
January 20, 2013 at 10:21 am
So many emotions in the crosshairs here, fabulous example of chained rhyme, and I agree with Joy, provocative and insightful !!!
January 20, 2013 at 11:51 am
Well done, Karin! Gun talk would be foreign for me, too, even though my father often took us shooting when I was a child, and cleaned guns in a drunken frenzy at the coffee table on Saturday night. Oh, wait a minute… I guess that is why i chose to make gun talk a foreign language! You did both prompts justice, here.
January 20, 2013 at 1:08 pm
Ha! Sounds pretty scary. k.
January 20, 2013 at 1:38 pm
I don’t understand the fascination with guns that some people have ….
This is a really strong piece of writing – I really enjoyed the faux/foe play on words.
January 20, 2013 at 1:52 pm
Masterful response to both prompts – this is definitely a foreign language, but after Newtown one we’re all learning. My heart hurts at the division in this country. In only ten years I feel as though I’m in a sort of civil war with my neighbors and even my family. This gun issue has this state truly “up in arms”.
January 20, 2013 at 3:24 pm
I can imagine! I am lucky as I live in a place (New York) where people’s thinking is more in line with my own. Of course, there are more gun enthusiasts upstate, where I also spend time, but even there, the people I am close to, think more like me. Thanks. k.
January 20, 2013 at 4:47 pm
I love the wordplay of this.
January 20, 2013 at 4:51 pm
Thanks, Viv. k.
January 20, 2013 at 5:49 pm
you flow with grace in this poem-your rhyme works effortlessly and smoothly. Your clever intellect is an undercurrent. “swiveled in a rifling that won’t be aimed.” this line, for me, is the crux of the piece-while your last line really brings home the continuing cycle of unrest within the whole gun issue. great double barreled/billed work, karin.
January 20, 2013 at 6:19 pm
Thanks much, Jane. k.
January 20, 2013 at 7:02 pm
Wow – great, strong lines. I’d love to hear this one read aloud.
January 20, 2013 at 7:07 pm
Thanks, Other Mary. I should have done a reading, but I was a little short on time. I think it does read well. Thanks. k.
January 20, 2013 at 7:20 pm
Wow! This one took me for a ride. Skillfully done. I love to read this and have the words flow from me.
January 20, 2013 at 8:44 pm
“while I’m not sure
your bullet will hit its mark,
parking its lead instead in my
bystander’s heart”
That is just fantastic writing.
January 20, 2013 at 8:49 pm
Thanks so much, MZ. k.
January 20, 2013 at 11:06 pm
so well done.. the message, and the chained rhymes… (pure self and yourself!!)..and since others have already picked up so many favorite lines.. i have to say love all that they love.
January 21, 2013 at 8:05 am
Thanks! k.
January 21, 2013 at 8:08 am
Hi vidyatiru – I would visit your blog but it is marked restricted! Sorry. If you have another URL, let me know. k.
January 22, 2013 at 10:55 am
http://myrandrspace.blogspot.com (I do have a wordpress site also but right now not moved there completely..)
January 21, 2013 at 12:26 am
I am always stunned how people do more than one prompt in a poem! I mean writing a poem in itself is a prompt, isn’t it!? 🙂 That’s a really complex poem..great job! I guess I just went with the flow of having fun with the chained rhyme now that I see your amazing work!
January 21, 2013 at 8:06 am
Ha. I don’t usually do two prompts either but since one was about form and the other subject, they covered two different aspects of a poem, and actually helped me come up with something to say! Thanks. k.
January 21, 2013 at 1:46 am
I really liked that. And I especially liked “faux arguments, foe arguments,”
January 21, 2013 at 7:55 am
I really found this interesting and my favourite “faux arguments, foe arguments,”….very clever 🙂
January 21, 2013 at 7:56 am
I had read this earlier..don’t know why i didn’t leave a comment then..in a hurry I guess…love ‘hollow’ and ;faux’ and the angst is felt more for the form I think…good one…
January 21, 2013 at 8:05 am
Thanks – the hollow is supposed to link up with the points for hollow-point bullets. I’m not sure that was very clear – especially if like me you don’t really speak “gun”. Thanks. k.
January 21, 2013 at 1:53 pm
I don’t speak gun either … however I understood every word you wrote! Brava.
January 21, 2013 at 4:15 pm
Excellent discussion of the topic at hand, and the chained rhyme is subtle. Many highlights here. I like your take, I agree with you. I wish more did. Outraged.
January 21, 2013 at 9:48 pm
Thanks, Luke.
January 22, 2013 at 11:22 pm
Incorporation of gun-talk. Every effective. Most impressed.
January 24, 2013 at 10:49 pm
Oh, I like how you blended the two prompts. I was once able to write one research paper for two different courses. Success! I don’t know gun talk but I know good poetry. Well done.
January 24, 2013 at 10:54 pm
Ha! Very good with the paper! Thanks much, Beth. k.