“Fighting”

Fighting

Insatiable fences line souls,
sheepdog rails
split to nip.
I tell him, stolidly,
to leave me alone, a soliloquy that means
don’t leave me.
But it’s either a lifetime or nothing–
we can’t seem to share five minutes
in-between, hearts
skipping beats in broken record
plaints; he
feints, pretending not
to understand; fence posts yap
at our heels.

****************************************

I am linking my poem above to the wonderful prompt by Kerry O’Connor of With Real Toads about Ingrid Jonker, South African (Afrikaans) poet (1933-1965) and writing about relationships.  I’d never heard of Ingrid Jonker before – she’s wonderful.  I urge you to check out Kerry’s post and the other poets participating. 

To any wondering about my nanowrimo!  I have worked on it, but in notebooks, by hand, and life (not blogging exactly) is giving me exceedingly little time this November, especially not for transcribing.  I do hope to keep working on it.

Note if a subscriber – I’ve edited this slightly since posting. k. 

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11 Comments on ““Fighting””

  1. Margaret Says:

    Ah, those fences we build around our heart – it seems anger is scales them easier than love. Sigh.


  2. Always so sad when love is dying and all that’s left is the endless fighting until even that, ends. You’ve captured the break up of a relationship really well in this K.

  3. brian miller Says:

    smiles…relationships are difficult…the leave me alone/dont leave me…oy…understanding meanings…and fences as well we raise to protect can also be the ones that hurt us most….


  4. But it’s either a lifetime or nothing–
    we can’t seem to share five minutes
    in-between…

    Relationships are such tricky ground, and you have shown that expertly in your poem. I love the potency of your images and excellent handling of the line breaks.


  5. You did a great job of going for that direct and simple style Jonker employed, using unconventional images(like the insatiable fence) that perfectly express what you’re going for briefly and with force. Really like this, k.

  6. Sherry Marr Says:

    You skilfully draw the reader right in to a prickly relationship. So well done.

  7. aprille Says:

    Ouch!
    so clever; you transcribe the jagged edges of the break and the two sided still seem to talk though angrily.


  8. I agree with Sherry….sometimes those fences are built too well

  9. Luke Prater Says:

    Strongly emotional piece but sidesteps the maudlin/mawkish; emotion feels genuine and is quite evocative. Imagery is v strong. This passage is the crux for me –

    split to nip.
    I tell him, stolidly,
    to leave me alone, a soliloquy that means
    don’t leave me.

  10. Susan Says:

    Ah! Fencing and fencing, feinting and fainting–fine word play in a poem that expresses a perplexing query.
    “But it’s either a lifetime or nothing–
    we can’t seem to share five minutes
    in-between. . . ”
    For me, turned out love was not enough when it came with so much cacaphony, but the resultant alone-ness has a constant wondering beneath its peace.


  11. Oh, K…you’ve captured this relational facet so well. Excellent write!


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