“Sans Eyes”
Sans Eyes
Time
sands eyes, blunts
retinae, but as distinctions dim
(I tell myself), a unique
camouflage
is limned; so I notice (in my peer)
how the tufts of white-tailed deer
mock
milkweed, puffed pendula
over thickets of fall-browned
fur; my blur
is almost proud of this newfound likeness
till I mistake upon the ground more pods (soaked)
for a chewed hoofed foreleg,
and now, on the slippery
of this steep hill,
as the translucence of evening thickens, I stop,
transfixed
by the loom of each branched stick, barred
by the barbed unravel
of somewhere fence, all
nearly swallowed whole
like poison
disguised in draught, razor blades
spiking a sweet, till just the second
before we meet,
some shadow
shapes sharpness.
And what am I to do?
Stuck, as night falls,
but use hands
to look ahead, and screw up
what gaze I have
as if sand could be molded
into something
that would actually outlast
this tide.
**********************************
I am posting this draft poem for dVerse Poets Pub “Poetics” prompt hosted by Mary Kling. The wonderful prompt is the “All the world’s a stage,” monologue by Jaques in Shakespeare’s AS YOU LIKE IT, where he speaks of the stages of life, and ends “sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything,” sans meaning “without.” I am also linking this post to With Real Toads Open Link Monday.
Here’s an attempted reading:
Check out the prompt, the great poets at dVerse, and, MY BOOKS!!!! Poetry, GOING ON SOMEWHERE, (by Karin Gustafson, illustrated by Diana Barco). 1 Mississippi -counting book for lovers of rivers, light and pachyderms, orNose Dive. Nose Dive is available on Kindle for just 99 cents! Nose Dive really is very funny and light hearted, and 1 Mississippi is a lot of fun for little teeny kids.
Explore posts in the same categories: poetry, UncategorizedTags: As You LIke It Poem, failing sight poem, going blind poem, manicddaily, milkweed and deer tufts, milkweed blindness poem, night falling stuck on hill poem, Sans Eyes, what in the puff is going on?
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October 20, 2012 at 6:58 pm
wow…really great writing k….the shdow shaped sharpness…barred
by the barbed unravel
of somewhere fence…some really cool phrasing…love hte imagery as well of the deer….just writing a piece about them tonight myself…there is a family of 7 that live in my backyard…wicked emotional close too…our sand castles fall…in the tide…love milkweed as well…
October 20, 2012 at 7:02 pm
Thanks, Brian – you are always very sweet. k.
October 23, 2012 at 8:55 am
Brian… I have a herd of seven in my back yard of which I have taken numerous photos of (hiding behind my kitchen window) and am trying to come up with a poem myself. 🙂
October 20, 2012 at 7:00 pm
Interesting poem. I have been fascinated with milkweed pods this year for the for the first time in a long time, as I walk with granddaughter and teach her about seed dispersal. The pods are indeed everywhere……but luckily my sight does not fail me and I can still very much appreciate them!
October 20, 2012 at 7:02 pm
Lucky you! Thanks. k.
October 20, 2012 at 7:08 pm
When we were kids, we loved to try to blow every seed off of these, if we did, we could make a wish. We called individual ones, fairies. If we caught one, we had to hold it gently cupped in our hands, make a wish and let it go again.
All of this was such a lovely read.
October 20, 2012 at 7:19 pm
Thanks. My kids used to blow at them too. They are beautiful. k.
October 20, 2012 at 7:22 pm
I enjoyed the fact that you borrowed Shakespeare’s “sans eyes” as a starting point. Nice job with imagery and the words you’ve chosen “taste” good when spoken aloud.
October 20, 2012 at 10:37 pm
Thanks so much, Victoria. K.
October 20, 2012 at 7:24 pm
Beautiful write, k!
October 20, 2012 at 8:18 pm
Wowzers, that final stanza is just SO good. Makes me catch my breath. Great write!
October 20, 2012 at 10:36 pm
Thanks so much, Sherry. I really enjoyed your stage show. K.
October 20, 2012 at 9:26 pm
This is just excellent writing, k, from first to last, and for those of us whose eyes have been sanded(such a wonderful analogy) so that the world is blurring more daily, it cuts to the core–and what a finish. Possibly one of the best things I’ve ever read from you, and certainly a new favorite. I don’t often listen to the spoken accompaniments of poems, but yours really added to the feeling of inexorable slide, down the slippery, pushed into component granules before a senselessly rushing, unstoppable tide. Very fine work.
October 20, 2012 at 10:35 pm
Dear Joy, thanks much. K.
October 21, 2012 at 12:26 am
God, I love to hear you read. I like this poem very much.
October 21, 2012 at 1:47 am
as if sand could be molded
into something
that would actually outlast
this tide….this is a great closure on a wonderful piece k. – makes me think…and think on…
October 21, 2012 at 3:37 am
Wonderful writing, I think we do the same here in spring with dandelions,
ps I have ripped various things out of the bloge code so you shouldn’t get mugged now!
October 21, 2012 at 5:09 am
is limned; so I notice (in my peer)
how the tufts of white-tailed deer
mock
milkweed, puffed pendula
over thickets of fall-browned
fur; my blur
is almost proud of this newfound likeness
This is brilliant stuff. Bravo to you!
October 21, 2012 at 6:01 am
this is great writing, loved to hear it, too.
“milkweed, puffed pendula
over thickets of fall-browned
fur; my blur”
these lines… wonderful.
October 21, 2012 at 6:46 am
……’the slippery of this steep hill’…..this is so good; the more I read at dversepoets the more I am impressed by such teachers!
October 21, 2012 at 9:49 am
Always liked to make the seeds fly off of those. Great imagery you convey too. And yeah like the tide things come in and out no matter how big or small.
October 21, 2012 at 10:25 am
so wonderful. layer upon layer. the sands and vision slipping- attempting reform in the end, the deer tail tufts- camouflaging and mimicking. from slippery hill to stuck at night. this is beautifully complex. Your many phrases like, “translucence of evening thickens” and “razor blades spiking a sweet” make this a joy to read and unravel.
October 21, 2012 at 12:31 pm
Thanks so much, Jane. k.
October 21, 2012 at 3:13 pm
You capture it, K, the essence of living with diminishing eyesight. The imagery you use and reuse is vivid and accurate. Your metaphors are tight and right. I love your use of language.
October 21, 2012 at 5:14 pm
Thanks so much, Kim. k.
October 21, 2012 at 6:19 pm
Just last week I took a pic of these fellows — the plants, that is. I had not thought of them a deer tails — how obvious. Thanks for the images.
October 21, 2012 at 6:53 pm
Thanks, Sabio. k.
October 22, 2012 at 12:43 am
very cool symbolism, image choices here. Flowed so well, and naturally to that. Really enjoyed the reads here tonight. Thanks
October 22, 2012 at 1:24 am
Beautifully written!
October 22, 2012 at 10:26 am
Back again from Toads. You have really captured the blur of failing eyesight, and so beautifully. I love the things observed, and the closing lines which hint at the impact of everything changing.
October 22, 2012 at 10:42 am
Thanks so much, Sherry. k.
October 22, 2012 at 10:43 am
PS – I did a jueju – or whatever that Chinese form is – but I linked this poem up of the OLN because I like it better. k.
October 22, 2012 at 11:32 am
A potpourri of poetic profundity.
October 22, 2012 at 1:51 pm
Hi Karin– I so admire your poetic bravery, to pull the world into the poem, making it new– wonderful to so detail the discernments of the deer-self and then a killer final stanza:
And what am I to do?
Stuck, as night falls,
but use hands
to look ahead, and screw up
what gaze I have
as if sand could be molded
into something
that would actually outlast
this tide.
echoing Hamlet… xxxj
October 22, 2012 at 2:13 pm
Thanks so much, Jenne. k.
October 22, 2012 at 3:45 pm
There is so much here, so many layers. It was masterfully done–
October 22, 2012 at 3:51 pm
Thanks so much, Audrey. k.
October 23, 2012 at 8:56 am
how the tufts of white-tailed deer
mock
milkweed, puffed pendula
over thickets of fall-browned
fur;
beautiful! I think you rose to this difficult challenge quite well!