Rainy Day – Leaves/Feuilles/Eyelids
Leaves After a Rain
Feuille – leaf,
feel – sheathe;
like my eyelids this damp day,
veined sheets that shield me from passing
leaf drop, till, when a fresh wind
shakes free
the retained downpour, they
twinge, as if a new storm
were starting, something to run
from, impossibly.
But it’s caught rain
only, and my eyes,
after that drumming softens,
go back to holding
their own capture, an old pain
behind the face
that rails against the implacable quickness
of all this (life),
rather than sticking out its tongue,
and gawking, wide-eyed, up
into the silver.
*****************************************
The above is a draft poem posted for dVerse Poets Pub Poetics Prompt, hosted today by the logophile Anna Montgomery. The challenge is to use interesting words (perhaps from foreign tongues.) Using interesting language is something writers should, of course, always strive to do, and yet I for one, can use Anna’s wonderful reminder.
Check out dVerse, and, if you have time on this rainy afternoon (and I hope it IS rainy if you are anywhere in the States), check out my books! Children’s counting book 1 Mississippi -for lovers of rivers, light and pachyderms. Or, if you in the mood for something older, check out Going on Somewhere, poetry, or Nose Dive, a very fun novel for those who are somewhat discontent with their appearance but love musicals, cheese and downtown NYC.
Explore posts in the same categories: poetry, UncategorizedTags: damp day in the woods, Feuille poem, manicddaily, Old Sorrow in New Rain, poem for rainy day, Recycled Rain, Sadness Under Tree Cover
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ManicDDaily 
July 28, 2012 at 5:53 pm
Interesting and novel words
July 28, 2012 at 6:02 pm
This has elegant sadness and captures such a lovely but bittersweet moment. I adore it, every dripping word.
No foreign words in my latest, but the list of words from flipside records is usually interesting, if not downright challenging. Come read when you have time. I’d love your thoughts on it.
July 28, 2012 at 6:14 pm
Can’t get much better subjects than trees and rain to write about 🙂 Yes, a tinge of sadness too.
July 28, 2012 at 6:49 pm
haha…or some mean boy shakes the tree when you are passing underneath it…not that i would know anything about that…smiles….the old pain that rails against def carries a rather strong emotion…esp when paired with the rain…
July 28, 2012 at 7:04 pm
I like the textures of falling rain on eyelids…the drumming on leaf ~
July 28, 2012 at 7:27 pm
I love the sticking out tongue and the “gawking”.
July 28, 2012 at 8:47 pm
The atmosphere you create here is palable and exquisitely drawn. I agree with Brian on the old pain and it seems that we revisit wounds on days when the weather leads us to reflection.
July 28, 2012 at 10:41 pm
Rain is sometimes my preferred daytime sky. You capture the sadness that comes when it rains, though here it seems shield something hidden, though it waits to tell you something more. Maybe that’s what days like this are for, to call up those things we somehow allow to rest just behind the eyes, in the drops of liquid falling to cleanse.
July 28, 2012 at 11:16 pm
Love this: choose to close the eyes holding onto the pain or stick out the tongue and revel in the silver–beautiful poem!
July 29, 2012 at 3:43 am
Wonderful use of language!
July 29, 2012 at 5:06 am
You capture emotion through the dripping trees, how beautiful …
July 29, 2012 at 5:31 am
Yousei has caught it exactly: an elegant sadness. A lovely poem indeed. This is one that I chickened out of. Reading yours, I am regretting that, not that I would have approached it for quality. As I say, a lovely poem.
July 29, 2012 at 6:25 am
the retained downpour, they
twinge, as if a new storm
were starting, something to run
from,
It can be a thrill when the retained rain is shaken from the leaves. Great write K
July 29, 2012 at 9:22 am
I love rain…and this is beautiful.
July 29, 2012 at 10:03 am
this is beautifully thirst-quenching. “their own capture, an old pain behind the face” so powerful in this piece. i love the diversity of your writing, k.
July 29, 2012 at 10:17 am
Thanks, Jane. You know I really am a prose writer, so all this poetry stuff is immensely hard for me. I wrote a longer prose poem in doing this, but I feel like it’s just a burden to impose something longer on fellow bloggers! k.
July 29, 2012 at 1:21 pm
I love the imagery. Very beautiful
July 29, 2012 at 11:30 pm
I like what you’ve done with this one Karin. The opening is great–and I’m definitely going to have to keep “twinge” in mind for future pieces.
I just sent off a copy of 1 Mississippi to my nephew in Australia–at about 15 months he’s already a book lover, so I expect to hear good things back soon!
July 30, 2012 at 2:23 pm
This is lovely. Love the gawking.
July 30, 2012 at 10:08 pm
why do i get the feeling the (still) preferred response would have been “sticking out its tongue,
and gawking” – probably just me 😉
interesting piece k., thanks 😉
July 31, 2012 at 9:13 am
That’s an interesting take on it, thanks. k.