Ode Not To Autumn -Eau’d Not to Autumn (“Swimming in Summer”)
The wonderful dVerse Poets Pub has a “form for all” challenge tonight to write an ode. The prompt hosted by Gay Reiser Cannon cites Keats’ “Ode to Autumn.” I’m not in great circumstances to write a new poem today, but the Keats brought up the closest thing I have to an Ode. Or should I say,”eau’d.” (Sorry! And sorry too that some of you may have seen this villanelle before. It is from my poetry book Going on Somewhere. Check it out, and with it, my new comic novel NOSE DIVE.)Swimming in Summer
Our palms grew pale as paws in northern climes
as water soaked right through our outer skin.
In summers past, how brightly water shines,
its surface sparked by countless solar mimes,
an aurora only fragmented by limb.
Our palms grew pale as paws in northern climes
as we played hide and seek with sunken dimes,
diving beneath the waves of echoed din;
in summers past, how brightly water shines.
My mother sat at poolside with the Times’
Sunday magazine; I swam by her shin,
my palms as pale as paws in northern climes,
sculpting her ivory leg, the only signs
of life the hair strands barely there, so prim
in summers past. How brightly water shines
in that lost pool; and all that filled our minds
frozen now, the glimmer petrified within
palms, grown pale as paws in northern climes.
In summers past, how brightly water shines.
Tags: "Swimming in Summer", eau'd poem, manicddaily, ode to summer, Villanelle about summer
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ManicDDaily 
January 12, 2012 at 10:43 pm
nice….i like these lines…
How brightly water shines
in that lost pool; and all that filled our minds
frozen now, the glimmer petrified within
and nicely done on the story telling with in as well…
January 12, 2012 at 11:55 pm
This is excellent. Well constructed. Clear imagery, one can feel the coolness of the water, see the sunlight reflected of the water, dancing and then it retreats towards the end to an echo of a memory. Refreshing read.
January 13, 2012 at 4:38 am
Well, it’s got it all: it’s clever, it’s well written and it’s totally absorbing as a read. Congratulations.
January 13, 2012 at 8:40 am
oh what a nice villanelle..and how can she prefer the times to go swimming…smiles… also love the wordplay with eau’d..nice..
January 13, 2012 at 1:40 pm
I like seeing poems doing double duty – a villanelle with so much reflection. Lots of movement throughout the poem. I think it owes more to villanelle than ode as form, but in dedication, it is equal. Well done.
January 13, 2012 at 10:13 pm
Thanks, Gay. Yes, it was a bit of cheating to post for the ode prompt–it was really the Keats that put me in mind of it–and then thought it had a sort of elegaic aspect. Thanks for your informative article. K.
January 13, 2012 at 2:37 pm
This is lovely. I particularly like the closing stanza.
January 13, 2012 at 3:43 pm
great flow! i haven’t read a villanelle in very long time, glad to see they’re still around. very well written, and long live the shine of summer water.
January 13, 2012 at 6:21 pm
This is beautiful… love the alliteration… and the texture, vivid images,
January 13, 2012 at 8:17 pm
my favorite line is:
as water soaked right through our outer skin.
January 14, 2012 at 1:04 am
It felt very real, the details of the sunken dimes and the close observation of hair on the mother’s leg, nice swings in the depth of field and focus.
January 14, 2012 at 10:39 am
I like these:
“as we played hide and seek with sunken dimes”
“sculpting her ivory leg, the only signs
of life the hair strands barely there, so prim”