Ode Not To Autumn -Eau’d Not to Autumn (“Swimming in Summer”)

The wonderful dVerse Poets Pub has a “form for all” challenge tonight to write an ode.  The prompt hosted by Gay Reiser Cannon cites Keats’ “Ode to Autumn.”  I’m not in great circumstances to write a new poem today, but the Keats brought up the closest thing I have to an Ode. Or should I say,”eau’d.”   (Sorry! And sorry too that some of you may have seen this villanelle before.  It is from my poetry book Going on Somewhere.  Check it out, and with it, my new comic novel NOSE DIVE.)

Swimming in Summer

Our palms grew pale as paws in northern climes
as water soaked right through our outer skin.
In summers past, how brightly water shines,

its surface sparked by countless solar mimes,
an aurora only fragmented by limb.
Our palms grew pale as paws in northern climes

as we played hide and seek with sunken dimes,
diving beneath the waves of echoed din;
in summers past, how brightly water shines.

My mother sat at poolside with the Times’
Sunday magazine; I swam by her shin,
my palms as pale as paws in northern climes,

sculpting her ivory leg, the only signs
of life the hair strands barely there, so prim
in summers past.  How brightly water shines

in that lost pool; and all that filled our minds
frozen now, the glimmer petrified within
palms, grown pale as paws in northern climes.
In summers past, how brightly water shines.

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12 Comments on “Ode Not To Autumn -Eau’d Not to Autumn (“Swimming in Summer”)”

  1. brian's avatar brian Says:

    nice….i like these lines…

    How brightly water shines

    in that lost pool; and all that filled our minds
    frozen now, the glimmer petrified within

    and nicely done on the story telling with in as well…

  2. Ravenblack's avatar Ravenblack Says:

    This is excellent. Well constructed. Clear imagery, one can feel the coolness of the water, see the sunlight reflected of the water, dancing and then it retreats towards the end to an echo of a memory. Refreshing read.

  3. David King's avatar David King Says:

    Well, it’s got it all: it’s clever, it’s well written and it’s totally absorbing as a read. Congratulations.

  4. claudia's avatar claudia Says:

    oh what a nice villanelle..and how can she prefer the times to go swimming…smiles… also love the wordplay with eau’d..nice..


  5. I like seeing poems doing double duty – a villanelle with so much reflection. Lots of movement throughout the poem. I think it owes more to villanelle than ode as form, but in dedication, it is equal. Well done.

    • ManicDdaily's avatar ManicDdaily Says:

      Thanks, Gay. Yes, it was a bit of cheating to post for the ode prompt–it was really the Keats that put me in mind of it–and then thought it had a sort of elegaic aspect. Thanks for your informative article. K.

  6. Mama Zen's avatar Mama Zen Says:

    This is lovely. I particularly like the closing stanza.

  7. woodrow's avatar woodrow Says:

    great flow! i haven’t read a villanelle in very long time, glad to see they’re still around. very well written, and long live the shine of summer water.

  8. Laurie Kolp's avatar Laurie Kolp Says:

    This is beautiful… love the alliteration… and the texture, vivid images,

  9. zongrik's avatar zongrik Says:

    my favorite line is:

    as water soaked right through our outer skin.


  10. It felt very real, the details of the sunken dimes and the close observation of hair on the mother’s leg, nice swings in the depth of field and focus.

  11. chamomile tea's avatar Shawna Says:

    I like these:

    “as we played hide and seek with sunken dimes”

    “sculpting her ivory leg, the only signs
    of life the hair strands barely there, so prim”


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