ManicDDaily

Yes, it is artificial to imbue the turning of a year with hope.  This year it is especially hard to feel hopeful with all the different sicknesses, physical, emotional and planetary, besetting the world.

Before I push a message of hope, I must disclose that I am someone subject to depression!  And that I have found the last few days to be very difficult due both to personal and societal sorrows–

But nonetheless, I can’t help feeling, knowing, that the time we are given is precious. I like to think of it as precious in itself, but it also happens to be the only time we are certain of.

But how do I get myself to actually appreciate that preciousness?

This is a hard question. What I tell myself is that although I may not be capable of changing the times, or even my circumstances, I can certainly try to budge my reactions to them.

Of course it is not easy to change one’s reactions. I am someone who can get herself into a stew for hours over a perceived slight, or, more usually, over shame caused by one of my own mistakes (especially if pointed out), or simply over someone else’s difference in approach.

I know that the stew feels awful. Nonetheless, I will dive right into its overheated goo, mucking about in the weird slurry of smushed onion, for a very long time. I can ruin whole mornings, afternoons, evenings. (Let’s not even go into the nights!)

So, yes, the times and one’s own life may be difficult. But if I have any resolution this year, it is to try to avoid making them more difficult. To stop avidly fueling my own resentments, perturbations, anxiety. (Yes, they will arise, but I don’t need to tango with them.)

What is very helpful for me in this regard is to think of children. Not to say that children don’t have resentments or anxieties!  But in the same way that they get down on the floor to take on the perspective of a toy car, or toy figure, they tend to engage with life on a very direct level, where grudges about the past, and worries for the future tend to be sidelined.

So being childlike is useful. But it also helps to be mature. By this, I mean, realistic. In my case, it is useful for me to recognize the things that I go insane without, and then, being realistic enough to fit them in, even if it sometimes means being a little less pleasing to others. And, speaking about being less pleasing to others–trusting that others can fix some of their own things, and may even prefer to, is another useful lesson! (This is another one that little children have down pat, though, of course, they are often rather pleasing to others. But hopefully they don’t feel burdened to be pleasing.)

In any case, above and below are a few little drawings that I did at the end of the holidays, when children were especially fresh in my mind. (As always, all rights reserved.)

Take care! (I hope you can find some smiles in these days’ clouds!)

This entry was posted on January 8, 2022 at 12:56 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments. You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.