Fear of Failing (Dread Aftermath)
Fear of Failing (Dread Aftermath)
Exposure of your inadequacy
is like that hand you don’t want
diddling you;
it has pushed itself down your pants
or up–
you can smell the grimed lines
of the thick-stumped digits; your face
burns–
somehow, it is all
your fault–maybe you allowed
your arms to fall asleep
so they could be rolled, logs,
then cinched
behind your back–
Logs joined in the child’s set you
keep picturing
start a foundation, corner
a little brown house-
but you don’t see how your arms, so skewed,
could build anything
that might stand.
*********************
Draftish poem for Fireblossom‘s (Shay Simmons) prompt on With Real Toads to write about dread, this, about the exposure of failure.
Explore posts in the same categories: poetry, Uncategorized
Tags: dread poem, exposure of inadequacy poem, fear of failure (dread aftermath), how bad can it feel--bad, manicddaily
You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.
ManicDDaily 
November 27, 2015 at 11:12 am
Whoa! I really felt this poem, the discomfort, the burning. Love the closing lines.
November 27, 2015 at 11:35 am
Wow !! A surprise !! Your first verse really go to me. (Of it depends on who the diddler might be, and the setting?).
Mrs. Jim and I have both fallen and broken things. First part of the aftermath is a feeling of just wanting to lay there, “you good-bodies who are trying to help me, please go away.”
The log cabin is literal? A part of rehab therapy? I enjoy rehab, every time, it’s like going to club.
..
November 27, 2015 at 12:42 pm
Oh good lord this is some serious dread. Brings up the same bellyache for me that parts of your novel brought up.
November 27, 2015 at 12:57 pm
Yes– it veered that way– I really meant to talk of the kind of sickness some feel when making a mistake.
November 27, 2015 at 1:07 pm
I guess I should say sickness of exposure.
November 27, 2015 at 1:02 pm
This is a terrifying metaphor… very effective in conveying the dread of failure and a whole lot of other fears.
November 27, 2015 at 1:09 pm
I was trying to think about real dread but maybe it is too pointed.
November 27, 2015 at 2:26 pm
We are so often our worst judges, and I wonder how many masterpieces that are hidden in drawers, such a great way of describing that dread…
November 27, 2015 at 5:18 pm
this is powerful and thought provoking
November 27, 2015 at 6:34 pm
A perfect depiction of dread, and one of your best, in my opinion, even though it makes me feel the ick of recognition. Low Self Esteem People Unite! Or…no. It’s probably a bad idea. Never mind…
November 27, 2015 at 7:23 pm
It took years for me to manage (somewhat) that fear of failing ~~ this is a stark reminder of I how felt way too often …. beautifully done.
November 28, 2015 at 2:34 am
wow, k, this brought up memories so long buried I had forgotten them, not so much of dread, but just the imagery triggered something.
of the dread fail itself, this pen is so succinct and powerful in its depiction… perhaps that was the memory trigger? playing with Lincoln Logs, maybe age 2 or 3.
sorry for digressing. this is a remarkable piece. ~
November 28, 2015 at 6:28 am
If the foundations are broken—half-made, interrupted, violated–then who we are struggles in water ever about over our heads. No matter how much we grow up. This is dangerous and fine.
November 28, 2015 at 11:50 am
Perfect description of being exposed and that fear that we will be found out in our humanness!
November 28, 2015 at 7:06 pm
Even without reading about the prompt the poem made me uncomfortable. It works very well from inside out. Thanks.
Greetings from London.
November 28, 2015 at 8:07 pm
This is quite intense. Our dread intimidates us. You have in a powerful way stated your dread
Have a good weekend
Much love..
November 29, 2015 at 1:12 am
Oh my gosh, I have that fear often.. I am a former Southern Baptist so fear of failing came with the pew.
December 2, 2015 at 10:02 am
This poem pushed me into the past…where dread was a daily sentiment. When a poet can evoke such a response in a reader, you are not diddling around with words….you are going straight for the heart.
Jane
December 3, 2015 at 8:23 am
A difficult read for me, k–so evocative of things one pushes under and pretends to forget–and the comparison is spot on–what can make our cheeks flame as bright as the exposure of that thing we are so ashamed of, through our own fault or through something we nonsensically think we could have changed–really starkly excellent.