What I Need to Tell Myself is This:

What I need to tell myself is this:

you live inside
a body;
and oh it wants to dance;
and oh it cramps;
(and sometimes feels nothing at all,
which is almost the worst.)
And you’d like to think the mind thinks it,
but it (also) (pretty much) thinks
the mind–

And where does the mind go
when it’s all ash?
(Goodbye body.)
And where does the body go
when it’s all smoke–never mind
no mirrors–
only our heated reflections
genuflecting the air,
the curves of the body
and all those waves of the brain barely wrinkling
earth’s brow–

And here I am, already asking questions
to take me away from what I’ve meant
to say–that I live inside a body
that dances and cramps and sometimes
feels nothing at all
(which is almost
the worst.)

****************************
Another very drafty sort of poem.  I call them drafts when they are written and revised quickly and I don’t think they are done but am too impatient/indecisive/stymied to keep working on them.  Image is mine, made on the iPhone with the “Brushes” fingerpainting app. 

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8 Comments on “What I Need to Tell Myself is This:”

  1. hedgewitch Says:

    “..only our heated reflections
    genuflecting the air..” what a masterly turn of phrase–(I don’t believe there is a feminist way to say that, certainly not ‘mistressly’!) There is a sense of immediacy and urgency to this that I think you would lose with a lot of smoothing and editing, and it makes the poem more intense, so I believe leaving it ‘drafty’ was a good choice. I especially like the condiments of grace on the meal of woeful rue. Enjoyed it much.

  2. Mama Zen Says:

    “And you’d like to think the mind thinks it,
    but it (also) (pretty much) thinks
    the mind–”

    That is powerful and true.

  3. x Says:

    This reminds me a bit of a Billy Collins poem. I hate to draw comparisons like that but it is the circular nature of it. What will come in the after will come for now I am in a body

    And yeah sometimes that is the worst . Ha


  4. I LOVE this, especially repeating the first stanza at the end. A very cool write.

  5. M Says:

    much on my own mind of late; and also why I am not writing much, particularly when poets like you say it with such grace ~


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