Early Evening, July

DSC00382 - Version 4


Early Evening, July

The hay just mown,
birds fly low,
wings holding light
like fingers round
a great candle.

Field just shorn,
insects shown,
wings alight
like wax ringing
a bright candle.

Days new mown,
summer shorn,
gold ring circling
to down-faced

Lord, have mercy
as time feeds on,
wax eaten
by a held candle;

new mown hay,
wing-blown day,
gold ring


A draft poem for no prompt.  I’m calling it a draft since I’ve done about a zillion versions in the last day and am by no means sure this is the best, even adding things I probably shouldn’t as I post.  But I’m a bit anxious to move away from it for now. I wish all a happy weekend.  (The pic above is mine; as with the poem, all rights reserved.) 

I am linking this to Real Toads open platform.   

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20 Comments on “Early Evening, July”

  1. What got me was the simplicity of the lines and yet the intensity they betray. Really liked it. Thanks. 🙂

    Greetings from London.

  2. hedgewitch Says:

    This reminds me of how I imagine a jeweler orks, everything magnified, the small made large, so large as to be greater than itself, each fragment a landslide, each cut a chasm–vital and flitting as insect wings you play these terms back and forth above your light source–really a pleasure to read, and to feel the candle of this July evening.

  3. X Says:

    Our days pass like candles, gone when melted
    and though we can try to hold onto them even our hands
    soften the tallow all the more.

  4. Kerry O'Connor Says:

    Your opening stanza is a great lead in to the description of a warm July day. Your images are crisp and evocative, and remind that all seasons must run their course. It is especially poignant as I read it on a very wintery day with a cold rain falling.

  5. Jim Says:

    The July haying is a wonderful event. The bugs (and the worms??) are disturbed, the birds come to feast.
    I was wondering a bit how the wedding went? We are in the midst of a move to town (Katy, and extension of Houston rather than our hills and space up here north of Houston to be close to our youngest daughter. I’m not writing much right now, just about only if I can’t sleep.

    • ManicDdaily Says:

      The wedding just went wonderfully well. There was rain! But all was terrific. Thanks for asking. I should probably post some pictures. I feel a little embarrassed to put these sorts of things up! But it was just lovely. k.

  6. Snakypoet (Rosemary Nissen-Wade) Says:

    It’s very beautiful.

  7. Brendan Says:

    There’s such a rich, cultured sense of harvest here, the lines like carefully tended golden sheaves filling a grainery or silo: a sense of exultation and praise. This life is good. Thanks for the gift.

  8. Marian Says:

    This is so interesting, its sparse lines and repetition made me go back and re-read again and again. The hay and the candle set up a potential firestorm, you know. 😉

  9. Sanaa Rizvi Says:

    Loved the opening lines to this beautiful piece 🙂

  10. Gillena Cox Says:

    this is such a beautiful write on the lips of a prayer

    much love…

  11. Rommy Says:

    I strongly feel the intricate beauty of a summer day and the desire to hold it close when the world moves to less picturesque ones.

  12. M Says:

    a bit of a departure for you – more hopping than flowing; the brevity works, though ~

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