Your Prompt Attention Requested

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Your Prompt Attention Requested

Where are You, I wonder,
who Writes me as
Dear Beloved,
and who, in your Devotion to Christ and your
Departed, need
my Help.

Me (Dear Beloved) being the One
and Only
to Whom your Inheritance from Said late Dear Husband–
Hundreds and Thousands of [Insert Currency Here]–
will be Released,
if only I will Provide
suitable
Documentation.

You will then gladly TransFer
Forthwith
[between Forty to Eighty] per Cent, which
in addition to the Winnings notified to me yesterday
in the Microsoft National Lottery,
will Amount to a Tidy Sum, not subject to Duties,
as previously promised by Timothy Geitner, then Secretary of the U.S. Treasury,
from his yahoo3216 Account.

You write with the soft Tones of one
who wears a silky-synthetic Veil tied low
upon her forehead, but, still, I see you
as male, taut
as an Igbo mask, only the radii of eyebrows ringing
your forehead, focused cheekbones leaning
into a keyboard whose taps I hear
over the flap of papers
regularly re-awakened by a wooden
ceiling fan, their intermittent ripple held in place,
though not firmly, by a cup of light sweet coffee, which,
though sitting at a casual slant,
does not spill.

I do not write you Back, though you ask
so Little–name, Address–not even at this point
social Security Number–even though it is Quite Nice
to be called Beloved, to be promised Millions,
to imagine such
a fan.

 

********************************

A drafty sort of poem for Suzie Clevenger’s prompt on Real Toads to write a poem about computer Spam.  Maybe because I’m an attorney, I get many letters asking my help in releasing all kinds of large payments.

I have a flu–yech–so forgive late visits back and not-fitting photo.

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15 Comments on “Your Prompt Attention Requested”


  1. This sounds almost wistful as if any correspondence, even spam, is welcomed. Or perhaps it is just snarky sweet. Either way it is a fantastic piece written from an unlikely source for inspiration. Thanks so much for taking part in the challenge and please take care of yourself.

  2. Jimj Says:

    This was a fun read, k. It has a familiar ring, dreaming of answering most surely knowing it is spam phishing. I like your addition of the lottery being added to the inheritance a well as the seductive female doing the writing. Coming to the senses, we know full well that this is a male, not alluring.

    Aside, I received a new one to me last week, the United Nations had made me an award (of money) that I needed to claim.

    My legal requests generally aren’t in the nature of wanting money. The last one was about a fellow who tried to sell some property only to learn for the first time that all of it was in a floodplain.

    But then I’m retired.
    ..

  3. Kerry O'Connor Says:

    This is brilliant! What a response in dramatic monologue to the unseen but cleverly imagined author of countless spam messages. The stanza in which you reveal his identity is exceptional, as is the conclusion. Your tone is perfectly controlled as this never becomes a rant, rather a rueful understanding of the pathetic nature of the perpetrator.


  4. Ha.. Yes we seem to receive the same kind of letters.. Dear beloved – maybe it’s even the same letter asking for help to get rid of money.. Maybe we are both loosing money.. But somehow I think your image of the sender is close to reality.

  5. hedgewitch Says:

    Really clever and crafty,k–tongue in cheek, but also as others have said, wistful for the wish to trust but knowing far better. As always you bring empathy even to the case of the spammer. Hope you feel better soon.

    • ManicDdaily Says:

      Thanks. I should get the shot next year. k.

      On Sat, Mar 21, 2015 at 9:08 AM, ManicDDaily wrote:

      >

      • hedgewitch Says:

        Yes, I know people distrust them for some reason, but I haven’t been seriously ill with flu since I started taking them eleven or so years ago, or my husband either, and he used to get terribly sick with the bronchial versions every year. Hope you are better soon.

      • ManicDdaily Says:

        I don’t distrust but have had the weird idea that it might be good for your overall immune system to fight an occasional flu– but that made more sense when I wasn’t getting them often!


  6. Such adoring spam and so magnanimous in their offers – smiles – really love this. Hope you are better soon – flu is the worst!

  7. Sherry Marr Says:

    I am so jealous of the spam everyone else gets. I only get threats of my account being closed down.LOL. I smiled all the way through this.

  8. Susan Says:

    How generous a response, what fun to imagine a lonely target so deeplty sweetly ironic. I, too, always see the scammer as male, though I have no supporting evidence. Such Wit from a sickbed! Get well soo, but I would wish that you always have enough time to write!

  9. lolamouse Says:

    What?!! He called you “beloved?” I thought he called only me that!

  10. M Says:

    great voice in this ~


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