Estranged (Out West)

20140423-003311.jpg

Estranged (Out West)

She broke the everywhere flat
by interpretive dance, saying
“this time I’ve got a good one,
no, really–”
until he pulled to the side
of emptiness
and she jumped up, lay down, flailed,
a complex choreography enacting eggs
scrambled or banana smoothies
under construction.
He never could guess
that her collapse in two
showed the cracking,
her arches her unpeel,
the quiver (frying)
the whirl (time
in the blender)
but as the gravel poked warmth
into her bare
feet, arms, he would
laugh at last,

his throat echoing
the rough swish
of her movement,
all that could be heard in that desert
except the tick of the engine;
you know how cars do that sometimes,
after they’ve stopped.

*******************************************

Another very drafty poem for some day of April National Poetry Month. I am linking this one to Shanyn’s prompt on dVerse Poets Pub about road trips.

Explore posts in the same categories: poetry

Tags: , , , , ,

You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.

15 Comments on “Estranged (Out West)”

  1. brian miller Says:

    i like how you incorporated dance in this….the interpretive toward the beginning….and the chorepgraphy later…if i was going to break down the last place i would want to be is the desert…it can be merciless….


  2. I like this little interlude that breaks up a long trip and makes sense only to lovers who carry the history that backdrops this. In the desert it’s only them and their shared laughter at a quirky dance.

  3. hedgewitch Says:

    I see you’ve worked your interpretive dancing persona in, and I’m glad–it really works well here–how we try so hard to communicate an idea, a feeling, a concept–yet so often despite the flourish and drama and work we put into it, it goes uncomprehended–glad that here at least the dance made a positive impression. I especially like the ending, which seems to say there is always something going on after we think it’s over. Anyway, that’s my impression–but I may be just one more member of the audience who can’t tel a smoothie from scrambled eggs. ;_)

  4. Glenn Buttkus Says:

    This vivid wicked little scene, sweet, zany, is like a scene from a Coen Brothers film; it touches you, tickles you, intrigues you; & the wordsmithing is flawless; really enjoyed the interlude.

  5. Mama Zen Says:

    This amazes me. So creative!

  6. grapeling Says:

    but see, if this is drafty, then it perfectly fits with your subject and in the context of the dance, the what-comes-next of the last stanza to which HW alludes, and to the interpretation ‘he’ comes to when he finally laughs at her movement. I think. 🙂 ~

  7. Laurie Kolp Says:

    Wonderful poem! I love the dancing interaction.


  8. What a great way to interpret the prompt.. so many ways I can read the he and she her…


  9. How fun. Not sure that’s a dance I’d want to do on hot desert asphalt, though.

  10. Abhra Pal Says:

    Karin, I read so much of fun elements here, smiles. Loved it 🙂

  11. shanyns Says:

    Cool! Very cool. Love the engine ticking – that sound just is so cool to me! 🙂

  12. Susan Says:

    “Pulled to the side of emptiness”!
    “his throat echoing the rough swish …”
    Oh layers, layers, as we put ourselves there, cracked open, estranged. alien, soaking it in and making footprints and memories.
    I.Love.This. I will not ask how you know this deeply. Wow.


I'd love to hear from you!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: