The Ordering-of-Words Matters


The Ordering-of-Words Matters

Candle light
can delight.
Candles toyed
can destroy.

Water flow–
what a flow!
What? Absurd–

Elective shlock
electric shock–
Extraordinary rendition–
(as an extra,
rend his shin–)

Words used
word abuse.
“No torture.”
(Not er…true.)

What a difference
placement makes–
the space between
him, me, you.

Here’s for some consecutive day of April National Poetry Month. This one has been bumping around in my brain since yesterday and serendipitously fits Sam Edge’s very cool prompt on With Real Toads to write a poem using/misusing language in an unusual way. Unfortunately, the misuse of the words above is all too usual.

As is usually the case with images on my blog (unless otherwise noted), the picture was made by me, such as it is. All rights reserved.

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28 Comments on “The Ordering-of-Words Matters”

  1. This is so much fun to read, Karin and yet the simplicity of the lines is deceptive. It takes much thought and concentrated effort to produce such an effective piece of word play, even if it comes so naturally.

    • ManicDdaily Says:

      Thank you, Kerry. It is true that I thought of the cande phrase – the first line, yesterday–and actually I was going to go to a very different place with it–started writing (and may use eventually) a poem about Georges de la Tour! But that poem didn’t continue the word usage and I wanted to use it for something that focueed on that–it is hard to come up with choices, and probably should re-work this down the line after thinking longer about different combinations. Thanks much, as always. k.

  2. CC Champagne Says:

    Very enjoyable and clever! Well done, as always!

  3. Marian Says:

    absurd, indeed. i like how your playful rhyme uncovers something very ugly.

  4. charleenm Says:

    This was fun to read, but though it if playful, it contains truth. Very, very, well done. 🙂

  5. lolamouse Says:

    I totally agree with Marian. The poem is quite playful yet uncovers some profound issues. Great job! I love the artwork as well.

  6. hedgewitch Says:

    An impossible prompt for me, as you saw–I’m afraid I had to go rogue the last few days. I like what you’ve done with these words first as sounds, then as entities able to be distorted, much like laws–first made as order, as definitions of behavior, protection then distorted by the funhouse mirror of self-interest (since corporations are people, they must have selves) into parodies of their original meanings.I especially like the plays on candlelight and rendition.

    • ManicDdaily Says:

      Yes, thanks. I kind of gave up on some of the others. Of course you have to come up with the right words and, for me, hard to do on order. I think going rogue is way to make the while month meaningful although sometimes the “rogue” best poems are least visited and that can be a little strange! I thought the inferno wickedly good. K.


  7. Sumana Roy Says:

    you have a way with words…

  8. Love this!! Such a clever delivery ….fantastic ending!!

  9. Ha! waht fun I love the use a spacing and abuse of our language

  10. claudia Says:

    What a difference
    placement makes–… so true… enjoyed your play with words… and they’re always so very willing to play, aren’t they…?

  11. brian miller Says:

    ha. these were def fun…reminded me of the transformations you do in that game changing one letter each time to take a word from one to another…

  12. Steve King Says:

    This is what fine writing is all about: imagination, an ease with vocabulary and great ideas lurking at the center.
    Steve K.

  13. Playful and fun read . . . placement really does make all the difference.

  14. Ella Says:

    Bravo! I think you really captured the fun essence of his style!~
    I love how it reads-you nailed it!

  15. Kay Davies Says:

    Wonderful, Karin. Isn’t this fun?

  16. wolfsrosebud Says:

    refreshing read… Happy Easter

  17. humbird Says:

    Nice play 🙂

  18. margaret Says:

    deceivingly simple – I know how had this was as I bailed on this word play and did the other option for ones not so witty. I’m impressed –

  19. grapeling Says:

    layers in layers on layers, K. the catchy rhyme, nearly childlike, yet by couplet 2 you’ve already dug deep, and the sing-song smile becomes a near-rictus. well done. ~

  20. janehewey Says:

    With the clever wit I so love about your work.

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