October (why am I not) Surprise(d) (Dear John) (The Great….)

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October (why am I not) Surprise(d) (Dear John) (The Great….)

Come on, Pumpkin.

No!

Seriously, let’s not go through this again.

Wanna!

All we’re doing is going to the doctor, Pumpkin. You heard me make the appointment a long time ago, right? It was all agreed–

Don’ want ‘ppointment.

Remember how even Uncle Roberts said okay–

Hate Uncle Roberts!

–what with that great big hole in your head.

Hate head.

And all those foot wounds–

Wah!

I mean, I told you not to play with those pistols–

Wanna. Wannagun/wannagun/wannawannawanna gun!

And, by the way, Pumpkin–.

Mmmph…..

It’s probably not great to put them in your mouth, what with the 
powder burns and that big toe looking so–

Mmmph! Mmmphmmmphmmmphmmmphmmmph!

Yes, I know you suck, but honestly, Toots–

La La Lalalalalala (hands over ears.)

And blocking traffic is just plain–I mean, look there’s a milk truck waiting to pass; think of all the little kids that need their milk.

LALALALALALALALA! (arms and legs flattening onto the concrete. Correction, legs and one arm.)

Whoa! Could you please stop waving that thing around! I mean, you might actually miss your feet some time.

LA!

Okay, I admit it…so, it’s not just the hole in your head the doctor should see–there’s this other huge hole that’s opened up–you know, on your–

(Hands go to backside, face turns even more orange–)

******************************************

Here’s my offering for Brian Miller’s dVerse Poets Pub prompt on pumpkins.

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27 Comments on “October (why am I not) Surprise(d) (Dear John) (The Great….)”

  1. claudia Says:

    oh dang it k. this made me hold my breath – excellent and tightly penned

  2. Laurie Kolp Says:

    Powerful statement beautifully expressed! How clever to use a jack-o-lantern to symbolize a blown-out brain.


  3. wow – a little riled up too about certain pumpkin headed people – wonderful take for the prompt – brava! K

  4. Grace Says:

    Interesting conversations K ~ The tags indicate this to be about politics which I am not so familiar with but can relate to the idiocracy of certain actions by certain politicians ~

  5. aprille Says:

    The way you think yourself within this intermediary object, representing something else: the ultimate metaphor. Well done.
    Know what? It made me remember that I used to call our firstborn ‘pumpkin’, until he actually forbade me to 🙂

  6. hedgewitch Says:

    Laughin like crazy here–the Great Pumpkin indeed! And he doesn’t even need a costume! The italicized portions are so choice, and so apropos–love this, k–just perfect.


  7. Hee, hee. Yes, they are tantrumming, aren’t they?

  8. Mary Says:

    Love your original approach here!! There seem to be a lot of ‘pumpkins’ in power right now!

  9. brian miller Says:

    hahahahahahahaha oh my a nice bit of comentary in this one k…keep shooting themselves in the foot…and trying to get in front of the bus…smiles….

  10. Susan Chast Says:

    You just took my for a funny crazy trip, no opportunity missed for satire in this dialogue!


  11. AH.. a little bit hard to catch the political irony from this side…. but the dialogue of was great sarcasm (where a pumpkin definitely worked well)… and yes shooting yourself in the foot or in the head can definitely work well on political stupidity.

  12. shanyns Says:

    Ha! Ha! Very clever and fun.


  13. Clever and fun write!!

  14. Rowan Taw Says:

    Loved your take on pumpkin – I’m highly amused.

  15. kaykuala Says:

    Hilarious! Brilliant switch to a witty dialogue MMT! Yeah, they’ll end up with more holes! Great!

    Hank


  16. Brilliant satire on a sad and stupid situation.

  17. janehewey Says:

    you’ve nailed it very fitting/unexpected metaphor. funny indeed and annoying to be sure, on all levels. the milk truck a great way to drive this one home. : )

  18. Glenn Buttkus Says:

    Boehner beware, for Karin is practicing pumpkin-speak, and she will brook no stupid gourds messing with the state of her mind & her country; lots of laughs, tears, & irony; thanks.

  19. ds Says:

    HA! Terrific satire. The milk truck is a great touch. Thank you.


  20. You’re a freakin’ genius! 🙂 That was such a great read. Many thanks.

    Greetings from London.

  21. ellaedge Says:

    I love the idea of shooting one’s foot….you are so clever!


  22. It reminded me of a very similar situation I had with my hard headed dad! Clever! Great twist especially in your appealing title~ Loved it, k. Faithfully Debbie


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