Out of the Mix (“Bound” Revisited) (A Sonnet Has Fourteen Lines)


Out of the Mix

Increasingly, I move through life shaken
but not stirred. Smallish things upset me,
a minimart brand of earthquaking–
enough to jar some cans from their shelved lee
while leaving the ceiling intact, my buzzed bars
of tubed fluorescence penning up the sheet rock,
which, in turn, shuts out the invites of sky’s stars.

My inner spy well knows that attempts to block
the kiltered cylinders’ fall are misguided–
the creamed corn will not crack–but I’m still bound,
aisled, exiled, and can only confide me
to the greater swirl, whirl into the new-found
old-friend world, when Midas-fingered chances dance
through these leaden walls of coded circumstance.

Yesterday morning, I posted for prompts from both dVerse Poets Puband With Real Toads a thirteen-line poem that I claimed was a sonnet in the Shakespearean mode. I really can count–I’ve even written a children’s counting book – though come to think of it – that only goes up to ten–but somehow didn’t. Anyway, here’s a new version of the poem with fourteen lines. Also, one of the original prompts by Izzy Gruye, asked the writer to use a movie line without referring to the movie. In my case, the line was from James Bond, but I’ve been a bit freer about referring to Bondian matters in this version. (Sometime I may do a poem that fully focuses on the Bond, but this is still not that poem.)

Anyway, for those who are interested in process, here’s the original thirteen line poem, called Bound. It’s actually fairly different (with stewed tomatoes, for example.)

I am also posting a revised version of the original drawing. For those interested, changes were made with two great iPad/iPhone Apps–Brushes and Camera Pro.

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11 Comments on “Out of the Mix (“Bound” Revisited) (A Sonnet Has Fourteen Lines)”

  1. that’s quite a unique viewpoint / experience in expressions that only one with your spy-eye could captivate ! I thoroughly loved it! Blessings to you k~ D

  2. You are funny, k. Be kind to yourself, we love the way you count … And I adore my elephant counting book, can’t bear to let the grandbabes take it home with them! x

  3. I loved the 2nd stanza esp–and can so relate–off to read the original

  4. […] « Out of the Mix (“Bound” Revisited) (A Sonnet Has Fourteen Lines) […]

  5. Wonderful… and how did I ever miss the thirteen lines. I actually like this one even better.. and breaking free of the Bonds (ha) I think improved it.

  6. hedgewitch Says:

    Thanks for keeping the original one around to refer to, k–as I was reading I was thinking my memory had completely mis-filed this one. They are almost different poems…this one has much more of a sonnet feel, the rhyme is more stout, and while still dealing with some rather stark emotions, the imagery just a bit more tongue in cheek(and therefore Bondian.) I’m glad you were able to add a line and carry on in the proper Brit fashion. Hope you are now vertigo free.

    • ManicDdaily Says:

      Thanks, I am much better. Unfortunately, had to come down to the City today and in the rush forgot some of my devices at home–but may be for the best. I haven’t really compared the pieces in a critical way, but should do so some time and maybe try to make something that is “prompt-free’. The prompts are great but maybe force things into shapes they should not take. k.

      On Sun, Jul 21, 2013 at 10:33 AM, ManicDDaily

  7. brian miller Says:

    ha i like the switch up at the end…the play on goldfinger…i miss the bond in the end…the skyfall is subtle….pretty cool remix of the poem…

    • ManicDdaily Says:

      Thanks. I may try the concept another time not as a sonnet, and more directly relating to Bond. The prompts gave me the idea but sometimes can be a bit confining. Hope all well. k.

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