Rondelet – Cityscape

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Rondelet – Cityscape

As I walked out,
grey mixed, matched, met me on that street.
As I walked out
in the flashes glass cast about,
its squares of pane and shield replete
with blocked black–oh, grey felt fresh, sweet
as I walked out.

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The above is a draft sort-of rondelet written for Tony Maude’s prompt on dVerse Poets Pub – it is a 7 line form with a repeated refrain. AbAabbA. The refrain line is important, obviously. I took mine from W.H. Auden (As I Walked Out One Evening), though approached it a bit differently.  (This, by the way, is my 1600th post.  I am not sure whether to be embarrassed or proud – or simply tired!)  Thanks to all who’ve given me the encouragement and support to continue.  k.

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18 Comments on “Rondelet – Cityscape”

  1. Margaret Says:

    ha, I feel the same way – not sure to be embarrassed or proud. You stuck to the exact rules almost. I think the words chosen fit a city street quite well.

  2. claudia Says:

    1600…oh my goodness…this is awesome k. – you sure can be proud.. i love cities..i love walking around in cities and grey CAN be a fresh color…though i prefer my grey with a few cherry blossoms mixed in…smiles.. love the pic…the grey doves with grey sky and houses.. urban beauty..smiles

  3. Tony Maude Says:

    This is fabulous, Karin. My first question is what are you walking out from when so much grey comes as a relief?

    You’ve followed the “rules” of the form perfectly, and produced a wonderful poem. And 1600 posts – Wow! I’m only about 1450 behind … smiles

    • ManicDdaily Says:

      Ha. Thanks, Tony. That is exactly the question that I meant to be raised – the walking out from issue – but the form is so short I couldn’t quite work that in – maybe will try to squeeze a backward glance in. Thanks, it is an interesting form. I am going to think about it more. k.

  4. tigerbrite Says:

    AAh all those shades of grey:)

  5. Miriam E. Says:

    “with blocked black–oh, grey felt fresh, sweet”
    this is stunning, Karin – i have never seen grey described as fresh… and it makes perfect sense here. very cool.
    great take on the prompt – so good Tony squeezed you in! 🙂

  6. brian miller Says:

    wow….1600…i find the city refreshing, so i dont mind those shades of grey…a bit of urban beauty…smiles…hope you have a wonderful weekend…

  7. hedgewitch Says:

    This is a lovely bit of writing–as you know, I hate cities, but it even spoke to me of a sense of home and peace. There is a great beauty in the color of doves and post-storm skies,the wings of pigeons and quiet rivers–you bring it out here with your words. Congratulations on your 160th post! Looking forward to the next 160–hope you’re not too tired. ;_)

  8. janehewey Says:

    such easy flowing form! The colors grey meet me in this one. Living in the greys most of the winter, I’ve learned to love its many nuances. This poem seems to honor the color without becoming maudlin, which might be a feat in itself…. the flashes glass cast become a lovely accent or highlight. This reads like a painting.

    • ManicDdaily Says:

      Thanks – I originally was trying for psychological, but I got much more caught up in the visual aspects and the form is so very short. I loved your bark! I still keep thinking of a tree–k.

  9. othermary Says:

    Love this! I’m probably too late to link up, but after reading yours I really want to try it. And, sorry to hear you’ve been the ‘kickee’ as of late. I hope that changes soon!

  10. nessa1313 Says:

    I, too, have found that sometimes grey can be a relief. Congrats on reaching 1600.

  11. LaTonya Says:

    love the form. Got me interested now. Huge fan of sound devices so really lovin’ the alliteration. Nice rhythm and feels right on the tongue. enjoyed.

  12. Lindy Lee Says:

    Seven lines, two rhymes, first line contains four syllables repeated as lines three and seven, other lines contain eight syllables–
    Compliance with rules of Rondelet to perfection; good writing…


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