“Night Storm Bath- Florida Coast” (Also Borg de Nobel)
“Two Parts of the Road as a Whole” by Borg de Nobel
Night Storm Bath – Florida Coast
Thunder so low (rumble)
overhead and again
(rumble)
that I begin to seriously question
a stress-outing bath,
here at my mother’s,
where we didn’t fight all day
except
at the last good night
maybe,
murmured words, including ‘ruined’
and ‘life,’ mis-erupting (rumble)
and mis-(rumble) interpreted, and not
resolved (ever),
but done for this night
maybe.
Only now my brain quirks picturing
predator lightning finding
this tub;
bathwater conducting
a yellow zig-zag around my form astride
limp shower curtain.
The sensible part of me thinks
about the Atlantic Ocean,
two blocks away, a watery elephant
to the flea
of this small tub;
the sensible part of me
understanding Copernicus, i.e. that the earth itself
is not a center
of all that much.
Only the flea,
in this case, is also
me (sort of), so that even
as I turn on the faucet determinedly,
self-preservation
leaves the plug ajar
till the hot is nearly gone, and
all that lingers
is a tepid inch that barely accommodates
a moment’s irritated scoop.
Shimmer-(rumble)
shivering, I
towel safe
dry, wishing terribly now
for either excitement
or redemption,
though I do not expect,
at this point in my life, anything
totally welcome (rumble)
to come in a flash.
***************************************
The above draft poem–I call almost anything fresh off the press a draft until I feel really certain of it – was written for a dVerse Poets Pub Poetics Prompt hosted by Claudia Schoenfeld that features the wonderful Dutch painter Borg de Nobel. Many of Borg’s lovely paintings may be found at her website http://borgeous.wordpress.com. I don’t think the above poem does much justice to Borg’s painting (and especially not to the great elephant) but inspiration works in odd ways; i.e. you write what you write!
I am also linking this poem to the Open Link Day of the wonderful poetry blog, With Real Toads.
So check out dVerse, Borg, and if you have time left over (!) my books: Poetry, GOING ON SOMEWHERE, (by Karin Gustafson, illustrated by Diana Barco). 1 Mississippi -counting book for lovers of rivers, light and pachyderms, or Nose Dive, a very fun novel that is perfect for a pool or beachside escape. Nose Dive is available on Kindle for just 99 cents! (Come on!)
Explore posts in the same categories: poetry, UncategorizedTags: Borg de Nobel, don't throw out redemption with the bathwater, Florida Storm night bath, I'm not worried about lightning striking twice!, manicddaily, poem about adult mother daughter, thunder over the bathwater
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ManicDDaily 
August 25, 2012 at 5:17 pm
picturing
predator lightning finding
this tub;….really cool imagery…love hte thunder word play early on in your conversation with your mom too….the flea and hte elephant…great way to work that in as well k…yeah nothing much comes in a flash….
August 25, 2012 at 5:18 pm
Thanks, Brian. k.
August 25, 2012 at 5:23 pm
Wow, you’re down there in the heart of things, heh? I hope the storm stays “outside” and that the rest of your stay will be the eye of the storm. Nicely done: your “draft” poems don’t feel like drafts.
August 25, 2012 at 7:00 pm
Thanks, Victoria. k.
August 25, 2012 at 5:42 pm
I love the watery elephant to the flea. It sounds like a very rough storm at times. Very vivid write. I agree with Victoria, your drafts, never seem like drafts.
August 25, 2012 at 7:00 pm
Thanks. I feel like they are drafts if written quickly because I know I’m changing till last minute and will probably change some more. Thanks, though. k.
August 25, 2012 at 5:42 pm
Karin, frightening situation with Isaac. I hope you have redemption rather than excitement. It truly feels, as I watch the weather channel, that nothing in Florida will be very welcome. Do stay safe.
August 25, 2012 at 6:59 pm
Thanks. I must confess to not paying so much attention (except when it’s overhead!) but we are on East Coast, so hopefully okay. I just hate these storms as when I am not here get very worried about those here. k.
August 25, 2012 at 5:57 pm
I like the way you used rumbling sounds, bathtub, and your reflections for an excitement or redemption to come to your life – I sometimes fantasize about this, but its all a dream, warm as the Atlantic Ocean ~
August 25, 2012 at 6:58 pm
Ha. Yes, perhaps. k.
August 25, 2012 at 7:05 pm
Wow, great ending. I especially enjoyed these lines, they express well how I’m feeling right now: “wishing terribly now / for either excitement / or redemption”.
And somehow I knew you were to choose the elephant picture. I do love elephants too.
August 25, 2012 at 9:14 pm
Thanks, much. k.
August 25, 2012 at 7:29 pm
I love your ending to this piece. I also feel your small-ness, with the flea to watery elephant comparison and the bathtub to the Atlantic Ocean. There is much to love in this … it inspires emotionally and intellectually.
August 25, 2012 at 9:13 pm
Thanks so much, Jane. k.
August 25, 2012 at 7:31 pm
K–I absolutely love this stanza.
The sensible part of me thinks
about the Atlantic Ocean,
two blocks away, a watery elephant
to the flea
of this small tub;
the sensible part of me
understanding Copernicus, i.e. that the earth itself
is not a center
of all that much.
August 25, 2012 at 8:20 pm
I love how all the storms converge into the bath tub, a really wonderful write, in trying to find some peace even the bath tub erupts or leaves one wanting. I love how it concludes…
August 25, 2012 at 9:54 pm
I adore the flesh and blood reality of this.
August 25, 2012 at 10:05 pm
I am totally in love with this poem and the thunder that interrupts it perfectly, and especially this stanza:
“The sensible part of me thinks
about the Atlantic Ocean,
two blocks away, a watery elephant
to the flea
of this small tub;
the sensible part of me
understanding Copernicus, i.e. that the earth itself
is not a center
of all that much.”
EXCITING USE of the proverbial elephant and the flea!!
Exciting and Sensible to the last “not in a flash.”
Bravo!
August 25, 2012 at 10:23 pm
Thanks so much, Susan. k.
August 25, 2012 at 10:18 pm
Oh, it must be really frightening! Saw the destruction and pain of the one that hit New Orleans, we felt for them. Nicely written ,K!
Hank
August 26, 2012 at 12:07 am
This is so full and rich words layer themselves on me and i think your response is great in that it can be heard as it is read with sounds of storm
August 26, 2012 at 1:48 am
very neat. Love the abstract vibe here. Tons of really cool lines, lots of fun reading them. Only now my brain quirks- very cool stanza. Outstanding take on the painting. Thanks
August 26, 2012 at 2:00 am
love how you mingle different things together…the weather…the situation with your mom, the emotions…esp. loved..
The sensible part of me thinks
about the Atlantic Ocean,
two blocks away, a watery elephant
to the flea
of this small tub;
the sensible part of me
understanding Copernicus, i.e. that the earth itself
is not a center
of all that much…. so much depth in this… will re-read now..
August 26, 2012 at 3:45 am
Wonderful!
the Atlantic Ocean,
two blocks away, a watery elephant
to the flea
of this small tub;
powerful and telling image with its own touch of humour. – Could be said of the poem in general. Me like lots!
August 26, 2012 at 6:12 pm
Love all the parenthetical rumbles. And these sections:
“a stress-outing bath”
“a yellow zig-zag around my form astride
limp shower curtain”
“the earth itself
is not a center
of all that much” … Boy is that the truth!
“self-preservation
leaves the plug ajar
till the hot is nearly gone, and
all that lingers
is a tepid inch that barely accommodates
a moment’s irritated scoop”
“to come in a flash” … Ha!
August 26, 2012 at 7:12 pm
Thanks. k.
August 26, 2012 at 10:04 pm
i especially like the images in the second stanza!!
slowly it had to last
August 26, 2012 at 10:06 pm
Thanks! K.
August 27, 2012 at 11:51 am
I liked this so much – the first rumble of thunder, then of words – the thought process throughout the bath – the final conclusion – really nice. K
August 27, 2012 at 7:45 pm
There is a sense of impending doom in this, coming from both the storm outside and the one brewing within. Well done. (P.S. I hope Isaac is kind to you.)
August 27, 2012 at 8:20 pm
where we didn’t fight all day
except
at the last good night
maybe,
murmured words, including ‘ruined’
and ‘life,’ mis-erupting (rumble)
Just love the way you wrote this whole poem!
August 27, 2012 at 8:23 pm
Thanks so much, Margaret. k.
August 27, 2012 at 11:11 pm
Just an echo, here. Emotion rumbling beneath the surface, the watery elephant to the flea, invoking Copernicus. So many parts to this whole, and the beauty of course is that they all fit. Wonderful. Thank you.
August 27, 2012 at 11:18 pm
Thanks so much. k.
August 28, 2012 at 1:48 am
I love this kind of stream of consciousness ramble of a poem. Pity about the bath plug, though! Those pictures inspired me to absolutely nothing! Emperor’s New Clothes-ishness.
August 28, 2012 at 10:10 am
We’re in south Alabama and have property near New Orleans. So I’m hoping for the least amount of damage possible after Isaac arrives.
August 28, 2012 at 10:14 am
Good luck. k.
August 29, 2012 at 1:18 am
Who would have thought a bath mixed so well with thunder? A very enjoyable read, first draft or not…
August 29, 2012 at 4:58 pm
Wow….that was a fairly sad ending. I could picture this from head to toe, and the realities being mixed with the pure thought in the head of the narrator felt vey genuine. Add storms, to fights, to philosphical thought and self awareness and you get a mighty fine poem. Great work.