“Determined” (To Write Visually)

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Here’s a poem written for the dVerse Poets Pub Form for All challenge hosted by Blue Flute and Gay Reiser Cannon about writing visually (as inspired by the beautiful imagistic poems of the Chinese and Japanese.)   I am not sure this fits that bill, certainly not on any formal basis, but here goes.

Determined

Heavy-duty aluminum rods stand
steel straight though their coat of
red paint has worn
in places to a fatigued grey.
Staring into angled reflections
of storefront, he rests
against the braces that cup
his forearms, stretching fingers away
from plastic grips, fisting
and re-fisting free air. What he is looking for,
he says, is a coat, a jacket,
long enough to keep hips warm, but not so
long as to hem a stride
mid-hike, the fabric waxed
to shed rain; it should be green
softened by brown (a collar to turn
up against the wind) like a mountainside
mid-November, after the fall
of much leaf, before the fall
of much snow. The display
cuts light into square fluorescent grids
like nothing found in the wild.  A coat,
he says (not going in), that will fend off
brambles.

(As always–all rights reserved.)

Also, please please please check out one of my books: my comic novel,NOSE DIVE,  book of poetry, GOING ON SOMEWHERE, or children’s counting book 1 MISSISSIPPI.  Support a blogger!  Okay, let’s not exaggerate.  Make a blogger happy!)

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13 Comments on ““Determined” (To Write Visually)”

  1. Gay Says:

    You set the scene and painted a man’s intent and as a reader we felt the weight of more than his infirmity pulling down with more than gravity on his frail body and his “determined” spirit. A courageous picture, indeed.

  2. claudia Says:

    so very well captured k. – made me think of a poem by ted kooser who captured a lady in a wheelchair, crossing the street.. really like this and think it fits the bill perfectly..

  3. David King Says:

    What a brilliant start. The first four lines won me completely, but the standard was maintained throughout. Totally visual and totally delicious.

  4. Beth Winter Says:

    Fabulous. I see him and as I end the reading, want nothing more than to help him locate that green coat with the touch of brown to soften the color. So vivid.

  5. Yousei Hime Says:

    Isn’t amazing how much internal one can gather from external viewing? Nicely done.

  6. Grace Says:

    You painted this scene and moment very well ~ I specially like:

    after the fall
    of much leaf, before the fall
    of much snow.

  7. brian miller Says:

    nice…i like you def set the scene well…i like the inclusion of the brambles at the end as well as it opens it up to interpretation as well…in knowing his needs we know a bit about the man behind them…

  8. hedgewitch Says:

    Very visual and effective, K. I can’t imagine you thinking you have difficulties communicating with a poetic approach–your poem is complex and deliciously layered in poetic device, word mirroring, descriptors, the lushness of sound, and substance in the narrative that forces thought and identification. What more can you expect from the medium? An excellent and resonant piece, especially the spaces and mystery that weave through the imagery.

    • ManicDdaily Says:

      Hi Joy! Now, I feel a bit shamefaced, as if I were fishing for compliments. Don’t mean to come across that way. I’m just conscious that my experience and perhaps any talent I have runs more to the narrative. (Not that I’ve performed so well in that area! But it’s been where I felt most comfortable, except now for all the time constraints.) Thanks as always for your kind words. k.

  9. Shawna Says:

    Love this:

    “The display
    cuts light into square fluorescent grids
    like nothing found in the wild.”

  10. Blue Flute Says:

    Very nice, I think the poem definitely fits the theme. I noticed several images tied together thematically that reinforced an overall theme, from the aluminum rods to “bracing” to a coat that protects.

  11. Chazinator Says:

    You’ve drawn a nice picture here, a bit abstract, like a cubist collage. You’ve fit the theme of the prompt well and have brought in a human element, which seems to form a part of the landscape.


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